The Desert's Ruin or The Brightvale Plot
by Echos in my head
Summary: What happens when you parody TFR and LDP  at the same time? You get something like this. Rated T for language, violence, all that jazz. My first fic. R and R please! No flames.
1. Intro, Character Ages and Chapter 1

The Desert's Ruin or the Brightvale Plot

(whichever)

Disclaimer: I do not own Neopets, the Lost Desert Plot, or The Faerie's Ruin plot, or any of the characters. They belong to TNT. I also will be making many references in this spoof, and I don't own any of those either. DO YOU GET IT YET? I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! Except for some dialogue, some scenes and ideas.

Intro.: OK, this is my first parody/spoof thing. One day I was sitting around and thought hey, why not combine a few Neopets plots? Sooooo... I put together TFR and LDP to give you... this. Why these plots? The answer is simple: They have a same character (here, Jazan) so it was _much _easier to put together than, say, CoM and AotA (how the hell would that even work?). To make any sense with this AT ALL, I had to switch between plots, add some scenes and remove/replace some characters. P.S., if this isn't funny, I'm sorry. But hey, at least I attempted what no one else has and brought TWO DAMN PLOTS TOGETHER FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT! I also felt the need to address some serious plot holes and clichés. So HERE I GO!

Character ages

**Tomos**: In my spoof, he's 14. Yes. 14. In the LDP, he was referred to as a "child", but I need him to relatively understand what's going on.

**Nabile**: In my spoof, Nabile is 18 or 19 _because _1) she looks young and 2) she gets married...to some guy... who was cursed for 200 years...that she knew for about 3 days...

**Jazan**: *_whacks away fangirl_* Age wise, (excluding the 200 years he was cursed) he's about... 24? Sounds about right.

**Hanso**: TNT _may _say that Hanso and Brynn are in their late teens, but _I_ say that they are both in their early 20's. 23, for both of them.

**Brynn**: She's 23, a few months older than Hanso.

**Xandra: **She's in her early 40's. I know, I know, she looks younger (especially without her glasses) and TNT placed her in her early 20's, but this is MY spoof. Besides, she _is _known to lie. And she casts spells. She probably stole most of the blind Ogrin's youth, but he was too visually impaired to notice. _*sigh*_

**Old Ogrin**: He's old. _Really_ old. Like anywhere from 175 to 23048 years.

So, if I haven't bored your ass off before the story even starts, here's chapter 1.

Chapter 1

Me: Hello, I'm your narrator, Echo. I'm talking to you from my awesome office! It's SO FRICKIN' COOL! Imagine a room. The walls are dark blue. One ENTIRE wall is a one way window. There's a control panel in front of the window with a mike so I can talk to the characters (and make smart ass remarks :)) and random buttons and a lot of shiny flashing... pretty... lights...*_drools_*

*_snaps out of it_* So, there's a leather couch, some chairs, other crap that no one cares about, and a FREE FUCKING VENDING MACHINE! I don't even have to pay to get my drink or snack! It's so awe-

Nabile: Lame.

Me: Who said that?

Nabile: You have your hand on the intercom, dumbass.

Me: Oh shit. Anyways,… everyone places!

_Many Neopians still don't know (and by that I mean the braindead n00bs who don't know that you can click on the explore tab) that far to the south, beyond the Haunted Woods, lies the Lost Desert._

_Even fewer know (referencing the braindead n00bs that HAVE clicked the "Explore" tab, but haven't figured out that they can click on the lands yet. *sigh*) that in the heart of the Lost Desert stands the magnificent city of Sakhmet..._

_Sakhmet has shopkeepers, random shit to buy, entertainers, and a gang-_

Tomos: I'm in a gang! Sweet!

… _And a gang of street urchins known as the Desert Scarabs. Sakhmet is ruled over by Princess Amira, who is both very pretty-_

Amira: Why thank you!

_And a total bitch._

Amira: I WILL FREAKING KILL YOU!

_And so our story begins... approximately 2000 miles northeast, in BRIGHTVALE!_

Xandra: Ha! Good one.

Me: HOLY SHIT! Who-

Xandra: Xandra

Me: What-

Xandra: Speckled Xweetok.

Me: When-

Xandra: Now.

Me: Where-

Xandra: Here.

Me: Why-

Xandra: Well, I'm not in this chapter, so I thought I would find somewhere quiet to read my book.

Me: How?

Xandra: Back door was unlocked.

Me: *_Rage_* I'm gonna kill that draik who runs the Wheel of Knowledge... Anyways, now that you're here, let me lay down some ground rules. 1) I'm the narrator, so what I say, goes.

Xandra: M'kay.

Me: And 2) You're more than welcome to make smart ass remarks with me, just don't get too off topic...

Nabile: Kind of like now?

Me: Exactly :)

Nabile: …

Me: :D

Xandra: *_foreheadbook*_

_Brightvale is ruled over by some nerd king who thinks that he can sit on his lazy ass and have people tell him wise things instead of saving them from the meepits. All in all, Brightvale isn't THAT dull of a place..._

Xandra: _*snort*_

_In comparison to SOME PLACES! (kiko lake)_

Xandra: I agree with you there.

_So... oh look! Something interesting! It appears that Hanso, a male, blue ixi-_

Hanso: You forgot handsome!

Me: What?

Hanso: You forgot to mention that I'm incredibly handsome!

_*sigh* Hanso, a male, blue, handsome ixi who has an ego the size of Kreludor-_

Hanso: Hey!

_Has stolen some crap from Kanrik and now Brynn, a pretty orange kougra who just HAPPENS to be the captain of the Brightvale guards, is chasing him._

Hanso: Just try and catch me Brynneth!

Brynn: You're dead!

Hanso: HahahahahaOOF! *_trips and falls*_ Ow! *_Looks at a pile of books at his feet.* _OK WHO LEFT THEIR GODDAM BOOKS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?

Xandra: *_shifty eyes*_

Brynn: *_catches up and cuffs Hanso's hands* _Gotcha!

Kanrik: Givit back, punk.

Hanso: Fine. Take your fuzzy dice back.

Kanrik: What the...? THESE ARE POWERFUL SPELLCOINS! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THESE ARE WORTH?

Hanso: They look like fuzzy dice to me.

Brynn: *_facepalm*_

Hanso: So Kanrik, how's Hannah?

Kanrik: Fine, fi- I mean, HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW?

Brynn: I heard rumors that you got married in CoM...

Kanrik: Lies!

Hanso: What about this ring I took then?

Kanrik: GIMME THAT! Wait, how'd you get that?

Hanso: With my hands, DUHR.

Brynn: I thought I shackled you... *_looks at wrist*_ Seriously Hanso? You handcuffed yourself to me?

Hanso: Awww, you like it.

Brynn: *_punches*_

Hanso: Owwww...

Kanrik: I'm so pissed, I'm kicking you out of the thieves guild.

Hanso: What? NOOOOO!

Kanrik: And I'm stealing your sleeves too.

Brynn: What now?

Kanrik: *_rips off Hanso's sleeves*_

Hanso: *_yelling as Brynn drags him away_* NO! YOU BASTARD YOU'LL PAY! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET A COPY OF CoM!

Xandra: OMG WTF WAS _THAT_ ABOUT?

Me: I felt the need to address the plot hole of Hanso having sleeves in that flashback in chapter 7 of TFR.

Xandra: Oh.

_Unexpected visitors can arrive at any time..._

Tomos: Whose stupid idea was it to go to Brightvale?

Nabile: Yours dipshit.

Tomos: Oh right. Oh look, a crate of Scamanders!

Nabile: Wait, wha- *_trips and falls*_

Tomos: Ha! That never gets old! :)

Nabile: *_deathglare*_

Tomos: Aw crap.

_Unexpected visitors can arrive at any time..._

Xandra: You said that already.

Me: Look, I need to introduce Jazan SOMEHOW!

Jazan: LOOKIT ME! I'm riding a UNI! HOW MANLY IS THAT?

Nightsteed: *_sigh* _Too much NeoCola before a ride again?

Jazan: HEYLZ YEA!

Me: So Xandra, you know that Jelly World exists, right?

Xandra: No it doesn't.

Me: So you're telling me, this ENTIRE time you were on Neopets, you NEVER tried .com/jelly on your URL?

Xandra: *_Tries it out* _HOLY CRAP IT EXISTS!

Me: Oh yeah, I'm awesome!


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey everyone! It's Echo. I noticed that there was this glitch in the last chapter. You put in "neopets" before the ".com/jelly". Ha. My bad. If you have any suggestions, please neomail me. My username is echosinmyhead and if you see a newbie account with a blue Xweetok named Shadowsinmyeyes, you've found my side account. No, I'm not accepting neofriend requests. Sorry._

Pre-Chapter Interview

Me: Hey people! I'm here with... Garin.

Garin: WAZZUP?

Me: Uh... So, Garin, did you notice the bride and groom when you crashed that wedding in CoM?

Garin: Yeah, looked like Hannah and Kanrik to me.

Hannah and Kanrik: NOT TRUE!

Me: Go away! *_pulls out wand of supernova* _Don't make me use this!

Hannah and Kanrik: *_run away_*

Garin: I thought this was my interview :(

Me: It is. So one last question. Are YOU aware that Jelly World exists?

Garin: It does?

Me: *_shows him link*_

Garin: OMG I HAVE TO FIND IT! *_leaves*_

Me: Don't forget your free jelly!

Chapter 2

_Hanso the thief is knocked unconscious in a clearing. Around him is a 70 FOOT WALL SURROUNDING ALL OF BRIGHTVALE! MWAHAHAHAH!_

Hanso: *_wakes up*_ EVIL PURPLE SQUIRRELS TRYING TO EAT MY BRAINS! What? That was weird... Coulda sworn... HOLY CRAP! *_sees wall_* What the fuck is this? Come on! I have a faerie quest! Do you have ANY IDEA how many people I had to steal from to afford Fyora's Starry Birthday Cake? Now I can't even get to Faerieland... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

_We interrupt Hanso's rant to give you..._ _random voice._

Random voice: We should nearly be there.

Hanso: Oh shit! *_climbs up tree, hides in branches_*

Brynn: *_comes in, followed by idiot skeith guard (Bill) and stupid draik guard (Joe)_* Damn, it's true! All of Brightvale, surrounded by a stone wall! Who could have done this?

Bill: Uh, it could be-

Brynn: Shut up, didn't ask you.

Me: Who didja ask then?

Brynn: No one it was a rhetorical-

Nabile: (distant) Stupid idea.

Brynn: Huh?

Tomos: (also distant) Well, how was I supposed to know?

Brynn: Who goes there?

Me: *_cough_* Lame. *_cough_*

Brynn: *_deathglare*_

Nabile: Oh look, people.

Brynn: Nabile?

Nabile: Brynn?

Tomos: Brynn?

Brynn: Tomos?

Bill: Joe?

Joe: Nabile?

Nabile: Bill?

Tomos: Nabile?

Hanso: Hanso. :)

Brynn: Who said that?

Hanso: *_drops from tree_* Perhaps _I_ might be of assistance?

_More swords than there are people are held at his neck._

Hanso: Or not. Wait... 6 swords? How is this possible?

Joe: I got upgraded to two swords last week.

Hanso: Congrats. So that makes 4... Tomos and Nabile? You have swords?

Tomos: We have daggers. ALL thieves have daggers.

Hanso: True. So... yeah, 6!

Brynn: Hanso? What are you doing here?

Bill: You know this rogue? He looks rather... unsavory.

Brynn: Alright, we all know you're a douchebag, stop using useless terms to seem smart. But yes, I ran into Hanso many times, mostly during the times he was in the Brightvale dungeons.

Hanso: Shouldn't you know that? Being a guard and all?

Bill: No, this is my training. I started last week.

Nabile: OFF TOPIC!

Brynn: Maybe we should listen to Hanso's story. He _is_ our only lead, ofter all.

Tomos: You were the one that kept him from telling his story in the first place.

Brynn: Shut up.

Hanso: Can I talk yet? Good. So I charge 5 np's a word, 10 for anything with more than two syllables...HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE MY HORNS?

Brynn: There! In the next panel!

Hanso: Oh.

_More swords._

Hanso: Fine. For you, 8.

Brynn: Ready...Aim...

Hanso: Okay, okay, free of charge. So I was walking around minding my own business on the outskirts of Brightvale...

Brynn: And?

Tomos: And?

Nabile: And?

Bill and Joe: And?

Me: And we wait for chapter 3!

All: OH COME ON!


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey, it's Echo. I'm in a good mood today. Here's Chapter 3._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Hey people! I'm here with King Altador!

Altador: Hello.

Me: Soooo... Are you aware that Jelly World exists.

Altador: Yes.

Me: Really? Aw man, I wanted another funny reaction. *_lightbulb_* So, how do you feel about not being in this spoof?

Altador: Oh, it's all right.

Me: I mean, you did _nothing_ in TFR, but neither did Jazan really... and there's the fact that Jazan has hoards of fangirls, and there are few to non-existent Altador fangirls...

Altador: *_getting angry_*

Me: And you _both _were cursed for many years, but Jazan was cursed 200 years, whereas you were cursed... what, 1000 years? And still no one cares about you-

Altador: (officially pissed) I'M GONNA KILL THAT SON OF A BI- *_slam_**_faints_*

Draik who runs the Wheel of Knowledge: *_stands there with a frying pan_*

Me: Thanks man. I'm not gonna kill you for forgetting to lock the back door after all!

Draik who runs WoK: You're wel- wait, what?

Chapter 3

Hanso: Ok, so I was walking-

Me: Wait... What are Tomos and Nabile doing here?

Hanso: But I'm-

Nabile: Well, Tomos here thought that it would be a _fantastic_ idea to go and spend our hard-earned neopoints on the Wheel of Knowledge to get a _possible_ job coupon. INSTEAD I got "fully healed" when was at full health _anyway-_

Hanso: Can I-

Tomos: NOT MY FAULT! Meh, I got a window. I always get useless crap.

Hanso: Speaking of useless crap, can I just-

Nabile: THEN I tried Wise Old King, and I got nothing.

Me: Oh, once I wrote something completely _random _and got a B! XD

Hanso: SHUT UP THIS IS MY STORY!

Me: And?

Hanso: Look, I'm _obviously _not respected here, so I hereby _refuse _to comply with your laws.

Bill: Too...many...big...words...

Me: _I'm _the narrator. If I wanted to, I could make you do the chicken dance in your underwear in front of the entire Brightvale population with it being broadcast via satellite to EVERY HOME IN THE WORLD!

Hanso: Nah, you wouldn't. I'm leaving.

_Scene changes to King Hagan's court where Hanso is shown doing the chicken-_

Hanso: OK! I'll be good!

Me: *_evil grin*_

Everyone: *_blink_*

Hanso: So... I was walking along the outskirts of Brightvale, heading towards Faerieland-

Brynn: *_snort_*

Hanso: Bitch.

Brynn: Hey!

Hanso: No more interruptions?

Brynn: I promise nothing.

Hanso: I was walking along the outskirts of Brightvale, heading towards Faerieland-

Tomos: You said that already.

Hanso: Narrator!

_Scene changes to King Hagan's court where everyone EXCEPT Hanso is shown doing the chicken-_

Everyone: SORRY!

Hanso: So I came across this random dude with some shiny mirror thing. He said something about "ruling Neopia the right way this time".

Nabile: Who was it?

Hanso: Uh, kyrii, male, orange, guyliner... looked like he was from the Lost Desert with the pharaoh look... That's all I remember officer! Anyways, a predictably lame chant followed, then there was a burst of blinding light, and I blacked out. When I woke up, he was gone, and Brightvale was surrounded by a wall.

Tomos: Fail.

Hanso: Screw you!

Joe: I think he's lying, but I'm a useless secondary character.

Brynn: Hanso has no reason to lie to us. He did say that this guy had some thing with him.

_Hanso, meanwhile, is pretending to remove his thumb to amuse the two idiot guards._

Joe: Maybe we should consult with Xandra. She's gone to the royal library to investigate.

Me: Somebody interesting repeat what he just said.

Nabile: Uh, maybe we should consult with Xandra. She's gone to the royal library to investigate.

Brynn: Good idea!

Joe: *_sigh_*

_Walking montage follows for approx. 45 minutes. Let's listen in their conversation, shall we?_

Tomos: So you're a thief too, huh?

Hanso: Yeah.

Tomos: OMG WE SHOULD LIKE TOTALLY MAKE A GANG!

Hanso: OMG YA THAT WOULD BE SOOOO COOL!

Nabile: Oh no, not again.

Tomos: We could be thief buddies!

Brynn: Not while I'm around. That's the _last_ thing I need!

Hanso: Calm down, sweetheart.

Brynn: Don't call me that.

Hanso: Why not?

Brynn: It gives people the _wrong_ impression that you're my love interest. Oh look, we're here!

_In the city, people are panicking and rioting. Probably the most exciting thing to happen in Brightvale yet. They get to the library. _

Old Ogrin from Top Chop: I didn't even know there was a wall until I bumped into it! Then some kid called me a n00b, kicked me in the shin and unleashed my inner multi-job orange yurble.

Xandra: Fascinating. *_headdesk_*

Brynn: Hey! Xandra! You there?

Xandra: What?

Nabile: We have someone here who has information about the wall...problem.

Xandra: Oh. Okay.

Nabile: You see, he saw an artifact that may be responsible for...

_Meanwhile, Hanso is sneaking away..._

Xandra: Stop, Thief!

Nabile: Well, in my spare time yes, but OH! You meant Hanso.

_Hanso is apprehended by Joe and Bill._

Hanso: Can I explain?

Brynn: AGAIN? Make it quick.

Hanso: So I didn't lie about the dude and the mirror, I just, well, didn't tell the whole truth.

Brynn: Then start. Now.

Hanso: So _maybe_ I broke into Xandra's place, and I _possibly_ took a few things. It's what thieves do, after all.

Tomos: Damn right.

Hanso: It's a pretty good story, actually... So first I moved up a space, then she moved too, then I moved behind a bookshelf, and she yelled "Come back with my artefacts"...Wait, _artefacts_? I'M BRITISH?

Brynn: Apparently. Hell, I'm just gonna say I'm an American and get on with my life.

Hanso: Good idea. So then, I picked up this mirror thing and these giant letters said that I got an achievement... then again when Xandra got within one square of me, and then I-

Tomos: HOW LONG IS THIS STORY?

Hanso: Pretty long, so you may as well get comfortable. So then...

Everyone: *_groan_*

_Echo note: Hey readers. If you all could give me more ideas for Pre-chapter Interviews, I would be so grateful. Really._


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey, it's Echo. If you're wondering why I'm sticking to the TFR plotline, I have this to say: I am for NOW. The plotline will change, and many random things that have and have not happened in the plots will happen. Dontcha just love random plot twists? If yes, than I'm sure you can wait for a few chapters. Here's chapter 4._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Okay, now I'm here with Horace from LDP.

Horace: *_eating ummagine_* Hi.

Me: Why are you always eating?

Horace: Don't know.

Me: ...And you did nothing in your plot.

Horace: Guess so.

Me: ...Are you aware that Jelly World exists?

Horace: Now I am.

_Silence._

Me: *_headdesk_* You're hopeless dude.

Horace: Is that the guy who runs the Wheel of Knowledge?

Me: Yeah.

Horace: Why is he here?

Me: He works for me. He locks the back door, fixes the vending machine, and hits people with frying pans when they go crazy.

Horace: Only guy that accepted the job huh?

Me: Go to hell.

Chapter 4

Hanso: I had my hands full there for a while, but I got out of Xandra's place no worse for wear.

Nabile: How the hell am I still awake? I mean, come on, you're _still_ talking?

Hanso: Since Xandra had seen me, I had to unload the goods in a hurry, so I met up with this Bruce eating this slice of pie (shout-out to the stoned pie!) and he spread word around that I had crap for sale.

Xandra: You mean MY CRAP!

Hanso: *_grins_*

Xandra: Oh, you are going to get it now!

Hanso: So, one of the buyers was that kyrii I mentioned, chant light wall the end.

Brynn: You're such a douche. How could you get tangled up in this?

Xandra: He's a criminal! Of course he would consort with other unsavory characters!

Me: Okay, this is the _second_ time the term "unsavory" has been used, and I deem it as a total fail. All in favor?

Everyone except Bill and Xandra: Agreed.

Me: Motion passed. "Unsavory" is now a fail word. Continue.

_Everyone looks at Brynn._

Brynn: What? Oh, my line. Ok, _ahem_, I trust him... sometimes against my better judgment.

Xandra: Of course _you_ trust him!

Brynn: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Xandra: TNT refuses to elaborate.

Brynn: Well, TNT can KISS MY ASS!

Tomos: Back on script... Maybe we should find this dude and get the artefact? Or something?

Nabile: Good idea! Xandra, do you remember what this thing looks like?

_Hanso pulls a pencil and pad of paper from nowhere and starts doing this weird cross-eyed stare as he draws._

Xandra: He stole, like, 4 things. How am I supposed to know-

Hanso: It was this one. *_holds up crappy stick-figure drawing of him, Xandra and the artifact. He actually drew Xandra pretty well. Lol_*

Xandra: *_TOTAL ANGER DEATHGLARE_*

Brynn: Ha! That is _the_ funniest picture I have ever- I mean, how do we find this guy?

Me: Follow the meepits.

Tomos: AHHH! NOT THE MEEPITS!

_So, after much coaxing and then injecting a sedative when that failed, our group set out to find the abandoned castle where-_

Nabile: Woah, woah, woah! WHERE THE HELL WOULD AN ABANDONED CASTLE BE ON THE BRIGHTVALE MAP?

Me: Just the GIANT EXPANSE OF LAND BEHIND BRIGHTVALE CASTLE WHERE NO ONE DECIDED TO LOOK YET!

Nabile: Oh.

_Walking montage #2_

Hanso: Are these guards _really_ necessary, sweetheart?

Brynn: At least I convinced them not to tie you up... and _don't _call me sweetheart.

Hanso: Man, you're pissy today.

Joe: She's been like this for 5 days now, she should be better tomorrow.

Hanso: Oh, she's on her per-

Tomos: *_wakes up_* AH MEEPITS! Where are we?

Ogrin: I'm glad I decided to come along. Somebody needs to state the obvious.

Nabile: I thought this was a montage? Where's the music?

Everyone: (singing) DON'T STOP! BELIEVING!

Me: YOU ARRIVED! NO MORE! NO MORE!

Bill: Oh, that was quick.

Brynn: Okay, creepy castle, imminent danger, crazy stone wall guy. This can only mean _one thing..._

Hanso: (unenthusiastically) Battle plans?

Brynn: (same) Yeah, battle plans.

Ogrin: So here's what's gonna happen: We will break into 4 groups of 2: Tomos and Nabile, the douchebag guards-

Guards: *_glare_*

Ogrin: Xandra and I, and Hanso and Brynn.

Hanso: *_wink wink, nudge nudge_*

Brynn: *_facepalm_*

Ogrin: We must confer with this man if we can, but I'll just assume that no one is listening and-

Brynn: Where's Hanso?

Bill: Over there! *_points_*

Me: He's your responsibility Brynn. Blind Ogrin said so.

Brynn: *_sigh_*

_Hanso is climbing a wall. _

Brynn: What are you doing...nevermind it's obvious.

Hanso: No self-respecting thief would _ever _use the front door, and with my ego, it's not an option. I'm finding my own way inside. Why? Wouldja miss me?

Brynn: Hardly. But you _are_ my responsibility, so...

Hanso: Relax. I'll see you inside.

Brynn: How do I know you're not going to tip him off?

Me: You don't.

Hanso: If you don't trust me, you _could _always stop me...

Brynn: *_turns around_*

Hanso: That's what I thought.

Brynn: Urgh, _why_ am I not shaded in this panel?

Me: It's a copy/paste from chapter 1, page 2.

Brynn: Damn those lazy-ass TNT artists.


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm in a good mood again today. You'll find that you get more updates when I'm in a good mood._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Now I have with me a stone pie. How are you today?

Stone pie: …

Me: Right. You're stone. And a pie. Anyways, feel free to join the "Save the Pie" organization that has been going on on the TFR boards. The pie is unstoned now, but if I didn't say that, people from that organization will hunt me down and kill me. Don't say that last part or the part that I'm reading now. If I did I'm _not _currently tied up and reading words off of a card while a member of "Save the Pie" holds a gun to my head. Okay bye.

Chapter 5

_Hanso is climbing through a window in the creepy castle._

Hanso: Wow. Not bad furnishing. Sure the lawn could use some work, and an outer paint job, but I see promise in this place! And the location's good, quiet neighborhood, but a 30 minute walk to town-

Me: STOP IT WITH THE REAL-ESTATE CRAP!

_Torch on the wall glows green flames._

Kyrii: *_bursts through door_* Who _dares_ trespass here?

Hanso: Uh, me?

Kyrii: And who are you?

Hanso: Hanso, master thief and part-time escape artist. And you?

Kyrii: I...AM...

Random fangirl: OMG ITS JAZAN! *_hysterics_*

Jazan: Dammit! She _totally _ruined my epic introduction!

Me: *_comes on set and whacks fangirl with a frying pan_* Where are they coming from? *_drags her offscene_*

Jazan: Umm, yeah. I AM PRINCE JAZAN! MWAHAHAH! BOW BEFORE ME!

Hanso: Sorry, my enormous ego prevents me from doing that.

Jazan: *_lightning hands_*

Hanso: Cool!

Jazan: IKR? I mean, what are you doing here? Begone!

Hanso: Cool it, man. I just wanted to see how that artefact was working out.

Jazan: Da fuck?

Hanso: You know, you look different from the last time I saw you... Now your robes are all black and your eyes are glowing red... Cursed Paintbrush?

Jazan: *_sigh_* I wish. But I still don't get-

_AAAAAAARRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUU_

Jazan: What's this? *_pulls out mini-mirror_*

Hanso: …And _I_ have a big ego?

Jazan: You fool! This is my magic mirror!

Hanso: NO WAY! Lemme see...

Ogrin: (inside mirror) The potentially deadly kyrii has been alerted to our presence!

Nabile: (same) No shit, we all heard the alarm!

Jazan: So, I see you brought friends.

Hanso: Actually, they brought me.

Jazan: ESCAPE TIME! *_pulls fake book from bookshelf, passageway appears_*

Hanso: Wow, who didn't see _that_ coming?

Jazan: SHUT UP! *_throws mirror at Hanso and goes into passageway as Brynn comes in_*

Hanso: *_catches it_* Hey, I caught it! :D

Brynn: Hanso! Stop him!

_Doors slam shut._

Tomos: (inside mirror) The doors are sealed!

Nabile: (same) Look out, the ceiling's coming down!

Brynn: *_trying to open door_*

Hanso: Call me crazy, but I just _think_ the doors are sealed.

Brynn: *_sigh_* Cliché escape time?

_Hanso pulls book and they go into pitch black darkness._

Hanso: Hey Brynn.

Brynn: What?

Hanso: I just realized something. We're in a castle. In a passageway. In the dark. ALONE.

Me: Actually, I'm here too...

Brynn: HANSO! I'M NOT FRICKIN' INTERESTED!

Hanso: Brynn, we are two neopets from Brightvale with ponytails and no sleeves. WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER!

Me: Back on script people.

Brynn: I can't believe you.

Hanso: Yes, sometimes I even astonish myself with my cleverness.

Brynn: No, I can't believe you let stone wall kyrii dude go! Why didn't you follow him?

Hanso: He threw his mirror at me!

Brynn: Oh my goodness Hanso, you're hopeless.

Hanso: Breaking a mirror means 7 years bad luck. _And_ I was unarmed, since you took my dagger.

Brynn: I saw you fight 3 guards unarmed once. You expect me to believe you'd pussy out because of a mirror?

Hanso: Aww, you remember that? I'm touched. But in my defense, Brightvale guards aren't _that_ impressive.

Brynn: *_whacks_*

Hanso: Owie! I meant, with the exception of _you_, my dear, sweet, loving Brynn.

Brynn: Enough with the flattery.

Hanso: Maybe I didn't follow Jazan-

Brynn: Stone wall kyrii dude's name is Jazan?

Hanso: Yes.

Brynn: Didn't know that. Continue.

Hanso: Maybe I didn't follow Jazan because I wanted more of your charming company.

Brynn: Or maybe you two are in cahoots.

Hanso: I hate that word. Cahoots.

Me: Fail word.

Hanso: 100% agree.

Brynn: ITS IN MY SCRIPT DON'T JUDGE ME!

Hanso: It's such a gay word.

Brynn: Don't you ever, EVER USE THAT WORD AGAIN IN THAT WAY! DO YOU HEAR ME?

Hanso: OKAY! I'm sorry! Jeez... Since when did _you_ become a crazy liberal?

Me: Actually, I'm the only crazy liberal around here. Brynn's just a liberal.

Brynn: Back on script, ok?

Hanso: Okay! *_trips Brynn_*

Brynn: OOF! Tripping me, Hanso? That's low dude. That's just _low_. Damn, I can't find my helmet.

Hanso: Don't blame me for your clumsiness. I thought kougras were supposed to have excellent reflexes.

Brynn: Not for a sneak attack in total darkness!

Hanso: Excuses, excuses.

Brynn: *_whacks Hanso with frying pan_*

Hanso: OW! I think you fractured my skull!

Brynn: Is this... frying pan thing going to be a repeating joke?

Me: Yep!

Brynn: Just making sure.

_Random Candle Time!_

Hanso: OOH! Random candle! *_lights it_* This should prevent any more sneak attacks. By the way, you look _way_ better without the helmet.

Brynn: Oh, shut up.

Hanso: Wow Brynn. Best. Comeback. Ever.

Brynn: …Was that sarcasm?

Hanso: Yes...

Brynn: Sarcasm doesn't translate well over text.

Hanso: Oh, _really_?

Brynn: …That's _exactly_ what I mean!

Me: Ok, from now on, all sarcasm will be in bold print.

Brynn: Why bold?

Me: Only thing left. Capitals are for yelling, italics for emphasis or narration, underline for further emphasis or beginnings of chapters-

Almost every English teacher I have ever had: And book titles!

Me: ...Right. Book titles. Bold's the only font left. Retake!

Hanso: By the way, you look _way_ better without the helmet.

Brynn: Oh, shut up.

Hanso: **Wow Brynn. Best. Comeback. Ever.**

Brynn: Yeah? Well, try _this_ on for size! You're a- *_long, continuous bleep drowns out Brynn's speech for the next ten seconds_*

Hanso: Woah! Language! Calm down! ...Where are we?

_Plot step with pegs and doors and knobs._

Hanso: Let's see what this baby can do! Hmm... Blue, green, red, red, blue?

Guards: AHH! Wadjets! Why wadjets?

Brynn: Let me try... Red, red, blue, green, green?

Xandra: EEK! Scarabs!

Ogrin: Really? Where?

Nabile: Hey, I found a key!

Hanso: Beginner's luck. Green, red, green, red, green.

Tomos: Down the stairs we go... Oh look, it's Xandra and the Ogrin!

Ogrin: My name is-

Tomos: Don't care!

Brynn: Red, red, green, blue, red.

Guards: Ooh! Ice cream!

Hanso: Green, green, red, blue, green... No, the stupid guards keep going to the ice cream room instead of the other green door!

Brynn: Try green x5.

Hanso: Oh, that worked.

Nabile: USUKIS!

Hanso: Let's try red, red, green, green, blue.

_You have gotten the "Fort Nox" achievement!_

Hanso: Wow, I got that _completely_ by accident!

Me: Tell me about it!

_Echo note: Yes, so in future chapters sarcasm will be in bold print. It's easier to figure out that way. And look out for the frying pans in future chapters too. And more ideas for Pre-chapter Interview would be appreciated. Thanks to my readers!_


	6. Chapter 6

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Now I have with me...Is that the Jazan fangirl I frying paned last chapter?

Fangirl: OMG JAZAN!

Me: You don't care that Jelly World exists, right?

Fangirl: Did Jazan come from Jelly World?

Me: No.

Fangirl: Then no, I don't care.

Me: Someone get her out of here, now!

Chapter 6

Me: Short chapter.

Hanso: See, princess? I told you I'd make short work of that contraption. Sure, it was complicated, but no match for the wits of a master thief like myself.

Brynn: Hanso, your ego is suffocating me.

Hanso: Victory dance time! *_does random dance moves to no music_*

Brynn: I still can't believe you let Jazan go!

Hanso: *_stops in mid-jerk_* Seriously? That was _last_ chapter! Live in the _now!_

Brynn: _Now_ we are currently in an abandoned castle. We should get out of here. But how?

Me: Yes, TNT seemed to have left out the "leaving the castle" part.

Brynn: You mean we have to walk through all those passageways _again?_

Me: Hell no! You might find your helmet! It's true, you look _so_ lame in it.

Hanso: Told you! So how do we get out?

Me: Well...I wanted to to do an awesome, random way, but as I'm too lazy to write one down or think one up, I will teleport you. But lets look in the mirror first.

_Mirror shows Jazan running away from the castle. (BTW for all you people wondering why there's fire in Nox's hands in this panel in TFR, that's the reflection from the candle. That's it...idiots...)_

Jazan: Those fools thought they could outwit me!

_Out of the shadows comes-_

Jazan: Gasp! Another Jazan?

Me: What? No! You don't die in this chapter! I need you in future chapters. This is just Nightsteed.

Nightsteed: Indeed, it is I. I'm in my "cursed" form, so I understand why it might seem scary.

Jazan: Damn right... So, let's go! We got work to do!

_Prince Jazan and Nightsteed ride off into the sunset... What a beautiful way to end this chapter-_

Brynn: *_whacks me with frying pan_* We're still in this castle you dumbass! Hey, nice office!

Me: Oh, my bad. *_teleports them to castle's lawn_*

Hanso: *_slips on wet lawn_* AAAAHHHHHH!

_WAY better ending!_

_Echo Note: I'm running out of ideas for Pre-chapter Interviews people! I NEED SOME HELP HERE! Sorry this chapter's so short. OH! Please cast your votes for the title of this story (Deserts __Ruin or Brightvale Plot). I'm having a hard time deciding because The Brightvale Plot makes more sense, but The Desert's Ruin sounds so much more epic! What do you think?_


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey, it's Echo! Since the last chapter was so short, I'm adding this one too. For a previous request, here's my interview with Roxton Colchester! AND this is where the plotline changes!_

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Now I have Roxton A. Colchester III. Prepare your rotten tomatoes everyone.

Roxton: Oh come on, I'm not _that _hated.

Me: Yes you are.

Roxton: I have fangirls!

Me: Like two.

Roxton: What's not to like about me?

Me: Uh, let's see. Two plots, one of them was short and the other one of the lamest plots in Neopets history; you're a crappy Indiana Jones rip-off, you have the world's ugliest mustache, you have done _nothing_ interesting, and you will never get a girlfriend. Seriously dude, two plots, both have a potential female, but the first was more interested in plants and the other hated you.

Roxton: …

Me: Just leave. Now.

Roxton: *_leaves as random haters throw tomatoes at him_*

Chapter 7

_So our group reunites in front of Castle Jazan..._

Bill: Who's Jazan?

Everyone: The stone wall kyrii dude, you douche!

Bill: I'm sorry. Skeiths are naturally stupid.

Hanso: Yeah, and draiks are fascists.

Joe: It's true.

Me: *_turns around and faces draik who runs WoK_* Is this true? Are you a fascist?

Draik who runs WoK: Yeah.

Me: *_frying pan whacks him_* THEN WHY DID YOU GET A JOB WHERE YOUR BOSS IS A CRAZY LIBERAL?

Joe: *_whimper_*

Tomos: Anyway, why did you let Jazan go?

Xandra: He's a thief! We should have never trusted him in the first place! Are you forgetting that he _stole_ from me?

Peter Griffin: Oh my God, who the hell _cares!_

Xandra: *_evil magic looking hands_*

Peter: ...Here, take Meg.

Meg: What? *_gets blasted by Xandra_*

_And now for something completely different. Getting back on topic..._

Brynn: He _did_ lead us to Jazan.

Bill: And the ice cream room!

Xandra: And then he let possibly the most dangerous person in Brightvale escape and we got trapped in that villain's castle!

Hanso: Um, he surrounded us with a wall. Not dangerous.

Xandra: But we're in a plot. Not dangerous _yet._

Hanso: _And_ Brynn and I freed you from that castle, for which I've yet to be thanked.

Xandra: Psh, that was probably mostly Brynn's doing.

Hanso: Fine! Believe what you want to believe. But Brynn, you know me. I'm a thief, sure, but a super-villain?

Brynn: I'm sorry Hanso. I can't help you this time. You've pushed things too far.

Nabile: You know, Tomos and I are thieves too, and I find all this mistrust offensive.

Ogrin: Well, I do believe you haven't stolen anything yet.

Nabile: Still...

Xandra: So we tie him up now?

Ogrin: I highly doubt anyone brought a rope with them.

Xandra: Shut up. You're blind. ...Did anyone bring a rope?

Everyone: *_shakes head_*

Xandra: **Great! Just brilliant! **How are we going to continue this story then, huh?

Nabile: Well, isn't it obvious, Xandra?

Xandra: What's obvious?

Nabile: We've stayed with _your_ lame-ass plotline for long enough, and now we're switching to LDP.

Xandra: No we aren't!

Me: Yes we are. Now, I suggest that you all give up and go home.

Brynn: Don't we try to follow Jazan?

Me: Give up. Go home. NOW!

_They give up and go home..._

_Walking montage #3_

_For some reason, Hanso and Tomos are wearing sunglasses..._

Nabile: Tomos? Why are you wearing those things?

Me: Okay, check this out! *_starts playing "I'm Awesome" by Spose_*

Hanso: MOTHERFUCKER I'M AWESOME!

Tomos: No you're not, dude, don't lie!

Hanso: I'm a_wesome!_

Tomos: I drive around in my mom's ride!

Hanso: I'm _awesome!_

Tomos: The border of my life gone by! And I met all my friends online, motherfucker! I'M AWESOME!

Hanso: I will run away from a brawl!

Tomos: I'm _awesome!_

Hanso: There's no voicemail, nobody calls!

Tomos: I'm _awesome!_

Hanso: I can't afford to buy shit, and I talk to myself on my Facebook wall!

Ogrin: Keep singing! I find this song to be funny and ironic!

_Half an hour later..._

Tomos: Wait wait wait! Only Hanso and Brynn live in Brightvale. Where are the rest of us going to stay?

Hanso: *_shrugs_* Holiday Inn?

Nabile: *_frying pans him_*

Hanso: Ow!

Brynn: *_sigh_* I _guess _I could, you know, ask King Hagan if you guys could stay in the castle-

Nabile: *_hugs Brynn and squeals_* Oh em gee REALLY? I LOVE CASTLES! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

Brynn: Uh yeah.

_Later..._

Brynn: Okay, it's all good. Third floor, second hallway to the right, choose the room you want.

_They all go through the castle gates..._

Brynn: *_stops Hanso_* Hang on, I have a special accommodation for you.

Hanso: Dungeon?

Brynn: That or go home. _If _you have one.

Hanso: Of course I do! *_shifty eyes_*

Brynn: Ok bye! *_slams door in face_*

Hanso: Holiday Inn, I suppose.

_Lets follow Brynn, shall we?_

King Hagan: Ah, Brynn!

Brynn: What? Oh, hi.

Hagan: Something bothering you?

Brynn: Just the wall problem. And the thief problem. And the housing problem. And it's my time of the month.

Hagan: Overworked eh? Want to talk?

Brynn: Yeah.

_Meanwhile, outside, something MUCH more interesting is happening..._

Jazan: I am Prince Jazan the forth. I have traveled a great distance for an audience with your king. Let me pass.

Tonu guard #1: No one may see the king without an appointment.

Jazan: What, is this some sort of a- I mean, I DO have an appointment... with destiny!

Me: Fail line.

Jazan: *_gives me the evil eye_* So, maybe some coins will help you good sirs make up your minds.

Tonu guard # 2: Hmm, let a potentially dangerous individual into the palace after hours who could kill our king and/or ransack the place all because of a bribe of about ...4 neopoints? Sure! I guess he does have an appointment after all!

_Back to Brynn and Hagan..._

Brynn: Wow, so _that's_ how you get the Wishing Well Avatar!

Me: ...What?

Brynn: Hey, you chose to go outside and not listen, now you don't know how-

_Doors slam open..._

Jazan: I am Prince Jazan the forth, ruler of Qasala. I have traveled a great distance for an audience with your king.

Brynn: OH SHIT IT'S JAZAN!

Hagan: Unclear on what's going on... someone explain.

Brynn: He's the one who surrounded Brightvale with the wall!

_However, Jazan is too busy putting on a fresh layer of guyliner to notice this exchange of words..._

Jazan: Ahem, I have come, oh wise, noble king... who's the chick?

Hagan: My captain. I grant her permission to be here.

Jazan: Whatevs. I have come to ask you for your daughter's hand in marriage.

Brynn: Say what?

Jazan: His daughter. The princess of Brightvale.

Hagan: I don't have any children... I was too busy reading up on having a good relationship rather than actually _having _one. Awkward.

Jazan: ZOMG what? But...but there's a prophecy!

Hagan: Well, prophecies don't lie... Oh wait!

Jazan and Brynn: What?

Hagan: There _is _a chance that I have a child. You see, around 24 years ago, I donated-

Brynn: EWWW! TMI!

Hagan: ...So, I might have a child, if it got used.

Brynn: Heh, it's funny. I'm 23, I never had a dad, and my mom died when I was 4 and I never asked about my parentage. _I _could be your daughter King Hagan!

Hagan: Ha! But even so, you've always been the closest thing to a daughter I've ever had.

Brynn: Aw, thanks! *_moment_*

Roberta: That's it, I'm leaving!

Jazan: ...Ok then, I'll marry the kougra.

Brynn: WHAT? OH HELL NO!

Hagan: I'm afraid I don't understand, Prince Jazan. You wish Brynn's hand in marriage?

Jazan: If, what was it? Brynn? If Brynn's the closest thing to a Brightvale princess then I guess so. Remember, the prophecy.

Hagan: Well, it's all up to Brynn.

Brynn: Um, NO!

Hagan: Well, there's your answer.

Jazan: But the prophecy!

Brynn: SCREW THE FUCKING PROPHECY! GUARDS!

_Joe and Bill come in..._

Brynn: Make sure that he leaves the city. As far away as possible!

Jazan: *_getting dragged out by the guards_* You'll regret this you bitch! You are legally mine! I will be back!

Brynn: Try me dickhead!

Me: Wow, impressive! Angry Brynn's much cooler than Normal Brynn.

Hagan: As strange as it may sound, I agree.

_So, with no choice, Jazan gets the hell out of there. But he'll be back. They always come back..._

_Echo Note: HAHAHAHAHA! I'M SCREWING THESE PLOTS UP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey people! In honor of the epilogue and prize shop_, _here's chapter 8! PRIZESHOP PRIZESHOP PRIZESHOP_ _PRIZESHOP PRIZESHOP_ _PRIZESHOP!_

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Now I've got Armin with me. Say, are you looking for a job?

Armin: I suppose so. The economy being as shitty as is now.

Me: Well, I have a job opening here, at the narration office. Would you be interested?

Armin: Can I have a description?

Me: *_gives him list of jobs_*

Armin: It doesn't seem _too_ difficult, why didn't anyone else apply?

Me: Well, one other did, but he had this, erm, _quality_ that I didn't like so I had to, uh, let him go. Are you a fascist, anarchist, liberal...

Armin: None, I keep out of this sort of thing.

Me: Perfect, you start next chapter. Oh and Jelly World exists.

Armin: NO WAY!

_And that's why Armin works for me._

Chapter 8

_We see Brynn the next morning looking like crap and drinking coffee. Nabile enters..._

Nabile: Hey Brynn. You look like crap. What happened?

Peter Griffin: Oh, so you haven't heard?

Nabile: Heard what? OH SHIT!

Peter: *_plays record and starts dancing_* Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the word! Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the word! Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the word! Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the-

Brynn: *_frying pans him_*

Nabile: Sorry, I forgot that he does that. So what happened?

_Brynn tells her the story of what happened yesterday..._

Nabile: Okay, that's creepy. Still doesn't explain why you look shocked.

Brynn: This morning...I went to see the king...he was...he was...he was...

Nabile: *_looks at watch_*

Brynn: ...turned to stone!

Nabile: Whaaaaaaaaat?

Brynn: And then I looked at the Neopian times, and apparently ALL royal figures have been turned to stone! And all the faeries!

Nabile: No way! All of them?

Brynn: *_nods_*

Nabile: *_slumps down in chair_* Gimme some of that coffee.

_5 minutes later, Tomos joins them..._

Tomos: Hey ladies. You look like crap.

_This happens AGAIN, and again when Xandra joins them. However, the Ogrin knew already because of his "ninja senses". Then..._

Hanso: Hey people! *_sees them_* I guess you heard too.

Brynn: About the kings, queens and faeries?

Me: Don't make me go through the explanation process again. He knows.

Hanso: Know what? AH! RANDOM MEMORY THAT I DIDN'T HAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Ok, now I know. Wait, that son of a bitch _proposed_ to you? *_mutters to self_* I'll kill him!

Brynn: I can't believe it. What now?

Xandra: To the library!

_In the library..._

Hanso: Eww, books. Why are we here?

Xandra: I'm going to look up stone spells.

Brynn: I'm going to look up Qasala.

Tomos: I'm going to figure out an explanation as to why the faeries are stone.

Nabile: I'm going to do that when he fails because of his extreme laziness.

Ogrin: I can't read.

_2 hours later..._

Hanso: Seriously guys? I had to listen to old people metaphors that don't make sense at first and then a little when you think about them later for 2 fucking hours! This better be good.

Xandra: This stone spell is an unusual one. I could reverse it, but I don't have the necessary items or a good location.

Hanso: So far, useless.

Brynn: Qasala was a thriving city in the Lost Desert with a noble family, but it was obliterated 200 years ago in a freak sandstorm. So that dick was lying, probably to get a princess as a wife and a king as a father.

Hanso: This interests me slightly.

Nabile: Tomos fell asleep about 2 minutes after we started thinking, but I came to the conclusion that the faerie's magic could probably take down the wall that surrounds Brightvale and restore the stoned.

Hanso: Ha, stoned. :)

Brynn: *_holds frying pan_* Don't make me use this!

Hanso: *_turns away_*

Brynn: I should probably make the announcement that our king is stone and that there's a dangerous criminal on the loose.

Ogrin: Probably.

_Meanwhile..._

Jazan: OMG! Lucky break! Hey Nightsteed, look at _that! *shows Nightsteed newspaper*_

Nightsteed: The king is stone... Oh, the Twisted Roses are playing tomorrow! We should totally go!

Jazan: *_eyebrow raise_*

Nightsteed: Oh right. The wall.

Jazan: Now nothing can stop me from marrying that bitchy kougra!

Nightsteed: Except the bitchy kougra...

Jazan: Let's go!

_And so Jazan leaves for the city, to use the stoned thing to his advantage, while Brynn appears before her people to make the announcement._


	9. Chapter 9

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Now I have Hannah with me.

Hannah: Armin? Is that you?

Armin: What? Oh, hi Hannah! How are you?

Hannah: Fine. What are you doing here?

Me: He works for me.

Hannah: Well, it's one way of making a living I guess. Of course I've always preferred treasure and adventure and danger. All that adrenaline coursing through my veins always makes me feel so _alive_ and-

Me: Jelly World exists.

Hannah: ...What?

Me: Did you ever find a map to Jelly World?

Hannah: No. I thought that it didn't exist.

Me: Has that ever stopped you? _Ever_?

Hannah:...

Me: *_gives her link_* Join the club of people who know about this.

Chapter 9

_Jazan rides confidently through the streets of Brightvale, heading towards the castle. Meanwhile, Brynn has a large crowd around her. She is about to make the announcement and the populace is confused as to why the hell they are there._

Cybunny: We all know that there's a wall and our king is stoned. Why are we here?

Krawk: No idea. Wait, the king is on _what_?

_They all shut up as Brynn steps forward to speak. Before she can begin talking, however, most of the crowd is bulldozed over by Jazan as he rides into the plaza._

Brynn: *_sees Jazan_* Today, uh, today...I have *_cough_* called you all here...all here...

Hanso: Oh damn, she's angry.

Tomos: Well, I would be too. Jazan just came here!

Nabile: No way! _That's _Jazan?

Hanso: Um, yes.

Nabile: He's _hot!_

Hanso and Tomos: *_eyebrow raise_*

Nabile: What? _What?_

Jazan: Forgive me, my lady, for barging in like this.

Brynn: **Oh, hmm, you're Jazan of, what was it? Jelly World? Oh no, wait! It was the ***_**cough**_*** non-existent ***_**cough**_*** city of Qasala.**

Jazan: I see you have assembled your citizens to welcome me. Very well. I am honoured that you wish to introduce me so quickly as your husband-to-be.

Brynn: Okay, shut up with the formal crap. I am _not_ marrying you, and Qasala doesn't exist! I don't know who you are, and the only thing keeping me from kicking your sorry ass out of here is the wall!

Jazan: Oh, you did not just diss me bitch! You will regret that! *_lightning hands and changes to his "cursed" look_*

Random Usul: What's happening to him?

Random Wocky: He's a monster!

Jazan: You will pay for mocking me! The armies of Qasala are more powerful than ever! I ask you one last time to marry me and fulfill the prophecy that was set down ages ago!

Brynn: Never! You can suck my hairy cu-

Tomos: *_runs up_* No Brynn! It's not worth it!

Nabile: *_runs up as well_* Tomos! Don't run in front of the object of an angry prince's wrath!

Xandra: *_runs up as well_* I will protect you!

Tomos: **Oh, **_**now **_**we're saved.**

_They all get dragged inside the castle as Jazan throws a temper tantrum outside. As Jazan's spells get stronger, citizens flee to safety. Meanwhile..._

Hanso: *_being dragged by crowd_* Ow! Quit shoving! No! I need to go back and help my friends! *_jumps out of current of people to find..._* Old Ogrin?

Ogrin: Oh, hello young ixi! I've always said that there's nothing quite like an apple!

Hanso: DAMMIT WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

_Within the city, Jazan's spell transports Brightvale and its citizens to an alternate dimension. Terrifying creatures from Jazan's world arrive and begin walking the streets._

Jazan: Since you refuse to let me live in your world, you must come live in mine! MWAHAHAHAH!

_Epic ending, right?_


	10. Chapter 10

_Here's chapter 10. They forced me to update._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Now I have Caylis with me!

Caylis: *_in a fish tank dragged in by Kelland_* Hi Echo.

Kelland: (out of breath) Why couldn't Armin do this?

Me: It's his day off. *_gives him money_* Thanks, you can go now.

Kelland: *_leaves_*

Me: So Caylis... What's it like living underwater?

Caylis: A lot like living above water. Except with less trees. And rain doesn't bother you as much.

Me: Do you know that Jelly World exists?

Caylis: This is my first time on the surface world. How was I supposed to know? I didn't even know there was a mountain or a space station or a desert! You expect me to know there's a land made of fricking _jelly_?

Me: ...I feel bad now.

Chapter 10

_So, Brightvale is in an altered dimension where a swarm of undead creatures pursue them. The citizens can do little to protect themselves, so they do the smart thing and barricade themselves in their houses. However..._

Hanso: No! I will not hide any longer! I _will _find my friends, and I _will _stop this!

Ogrin: So what do we do?

Hanso: I don't know! You're the old wise person!

Ogrin: ...We find our friends?

Hanso: Through _those _monsters? Are you crazy?

Me: *_gives them frying pans_* These'll help.

Hanso: They will?

Me: They will.

_Another meanwhile...In the castle._

Nabile: Doors, doors everywhere. I wonder which one's the pay-toilet.

Tomos: So you _do _play "The Dig"!

Nabile: What's that? I just need to pee.

Brynn: Third door on the right.

Tomos: But you... you just quoted it...nevermind.

_2 minutes later..._

Nabile: I'm back. Where are we all staying?

Brynn: The luxury room at the end of the hall was made for a time like this.

Xandra: A time of panic and danger?

Brynn: No, a time where a crazy prince takes the city into an alternate dimension and the only people that may save the world are 3 street urchins, a captain, a librarian and an old guy. At first, I actually thought it was a joke but now...

Tomos: I think we're short one urchin and old guy.

Me: They'll come later.

_Later..._

Hanso: *_whacks zombie_* Who knew that you only needed to hit these things on the head to beat them.

Ogrin: *_epic ninja kick_*

Hanso: ...Damn, if I knew that you could do that earlier, I wouldn't have minded being left with you so much.

Ogrin: I sense the castle is near.

Hanso: No shit old man, I _live_ here.

_They arrive at the castle grounds._

Hanso: Ok, now to find out where they are...

Tomos: *_out of window on one of the higher floors_* Hanso? Is that you?

Hanso: Tomos?

Tomos: Oh finally! I've been stuck in a room with 3 girls for the past hour!

Me: *_holding frying pan_* Do you have something against girls, Tomos?

Tomos: What? Oh, no, of course not! It's just...

Me: Uh-huh.

Hanso: How the fuck do I get up there?

Ogrin: Up where?

Me: Up yours.

Tomos: Don't worry! Xandra can give you guys a lift.

Hanso: XANDRA!11 She'll _kill _me!

Me: No, the most she can do is give you a few bruises. Narrator powers prevent her from killing you.

Hanso: Oh, okay then.

_45 seconds later..._

Hanso: *_climbs through window with a black eye_* That is the _last_ time I let Xandra levitate me!

Xandra: *_grins_*

Ogrin: *_climbs through window unharmed_*

Brynn: Thank goodness you're both okay!

Hanso: I have a black eye, DO I LOOK OKAY TO YOU? MY LOOKS ARE RUINED!11!1

_Knock on door._

Brynn: Who is it?

Jazan: Jazan.

Brynn: Quick! Hanso, Ogrin! Hide in the closet!

Hanso: Why?

Brynn: Jazan doesn't know that you're here! We can use that to our advantage!

Hanso: How?

Me: You'll find out later.

_Hanso and the Ogrin hide in closet as Jazan enters._

Jazan: Hey, you're not still pissed that I took your city to an alternate dimension, are you?

Brynn: *_"you're a douche" glare_*

Jazan: I'll take that as a yes.

Brynn: How are you in the castle anyways?

Jazan: Oh, I took over it about 7 minutes ago. So, we _all_ need to talk.

Brynn: About what?

Jazan: Wedding preparations, of course!

Brynn: If I had a frying pan _right now_...

Jazan: You, Xweetok.

Xandra: I have a name, you know.

Jazan: I'm sure. You seem to know how to put an outfit together. I want you to make the dress.

Xandra: Okey-dokey. I mean, and what if I refuse?

Jazan: I kill you. Slowly and painfully. Very slowly. _Very_, very painfully.

Xandra: ...Any preferences dresswise?

Brynn: Don't I get a say in this?

Jazan: Of course, you get to design your dress if you want.

Brynn: That's not what I meant.

Jazan: And you, ixi, what's your name?

Xandra: Oh, so you ask _her _name_._

Nabile: Nabile.

Jazan: I'll need some help around the castle. Do you want to be a servant?

Nabile: *_flips him off_*

Jazan: Fiery. I like that.

Nabile: *_half-smile_*

Brynn: o.0

Jazan: How 'bout... a slave.

Nabile: You wish.

Jazan: Handmaiden?

Nabile: No.

Jazan: Maid?

Nabile: Nuh-uh.

Jazan: Mistress?

Nabile: *_double-take_* Say what?

Jazan: Uh, I said...stylist?

Nabile: _Now_ we're getting somewhere!

Jazan: So stylist it is! Make sure my fiance looks... Well... better than she does now.

Brynn: *_silently fuming_*

Jazan: And the boy... Meh, too young to do anything. Just stay here and don't break anything. I expect progress by tomorrow. _Or else..._ Okay bye! *_leaves_*

Hanso: *_coming out of the closet (hahahahahahaha!...Okay, seriously though, literally)_* **Charming man, your fiance.**

Brynn: I HATE THIS!111!1!1

Ogrin: *_also coming... uh, leaving his previous hiding spot_* Thank goodness he's gone, it smells like shit in there.

Everyone: *_shocked silence_*

Ogrin: What? Old people swear! Look at Xandra!

Xandra: I'm not old, you old piece of bullcrap!

Tomos: Now what?

_And so they begin the preparations, because they were under the threat of Jazan and there was nothing else to do. What will happen next?_

_Echo Note: I NEED SUGGESTIONS FOR INTERVIEWS PEOPLE! I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS!  
_


	11. Chapter 11

_Hey, it's Echo. In chapter 9 Brynn was going to say "Suck my hairy curry-loving Warf's Poisonous Lollipop!" but Tomos cut her off... *mutters to self* You people and your sick minds. *normal voice* Oh, and whateva876, it's a little hard to update when you're tied to a chair. While you think that over... *breaks free from ropes, stands up with knife in my hand* To the general public: If you've been tied up and threatened with guns as often as I have, it's always a good idea to carry a knife in your sleeve. This has been a public service announcement courtesy of Echos in my head._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Here's Clara from AotA.

Clara: Hi.

Me: Clara, why do you hang out with Roxton if you hate him so much?

Clara: TNT forces me to. Every time he has to go and do something stupid and reckless in some part of Neopia, I'm forced to go too.

Me: Jelly World exists!

Clara: ...You didn't tell Roxton that, did you?

Me: No, I was too busy telling him about everything that was wrong with him and then I watched people throw tomatoes at him.

Clara: Awesome! *_hi-fives me_* 'Cause the last thing I need is an "adventure" in Jelly World.

Chapter 11

_Two days later... You know, after the last chapter ended._

_Hanso and Tomos are playing cards, Xandra is reading and the Ogrin is sleeping on the couch in one room..._

Tomos: 2 sixes.

Hanso: 3 sevens.

Tomos: One eight.

Hanso: Cheat!

Tomos: Nope! *_turns around one eight card_*

Hanso: Dammit. *_gives Tomos 12 neopoints_*

Xandra: *_not looking up from her book_* Gambling is bad.

Hanso: **And we **_**all**_** care.**

Xandra: *_uses magic to frying pan whack Hanso_*

Hanso: This is really getting old.

Me: But the imagery is really funny.

Ogrin: *_snore_*

_...And in the other room, Nabile is doing Brynn's makeup._

_(Imagination Time!11!1 So, imagine a few things for me. If you have no imagination, ask a friend who does for help. First, imagine Brynn in a dress. Her wedding dress. It's up to you how it looks. I myself imagine a light blue, Greek goddess-style dress. Other people with less creativity can imagine that black and red dress that Amira wore in LDP, and those with no life can imagine one of those off-white, lacy, traditional dresses that makes the bride look like a marshmallow... Next, imagine Brynn with her hair out of that ponytail. Now imagine her sitting down, with a facial expression similar to a cat that got dropped in a full bathtub (I mean pissed, not scared or shocked), and Nabile is nearby searching through a bag of make-up.)_

Nabile: How 'bout... Sky blue eyeshadow, to match your eyes?

Brynn: No way! I don't want to look like a hooker!

Nabile: Fine... Gold eye shadow?

Brynn: ...Why gold?

Nabile: I'm thinking of trying for a "natural but slightly dramatic" look.

Brynn: So that's...

Nabile: Light colors that match your fur color, so orange, maybe a bit of mascara and eyeliner-

Brynn: Like Jazan?

Nabile: No, that's cursed guyliner. I would put one hell of a lot less on you.

Brynn: ...Okay?

Nabile: Have you _ever _put on makeup in your life?

Brynn: No, being a guard you stop caring after a while.

Me: This conversation is boring me.

Nabile: What? This is classic girl talk!

Me: I'm a girl and this is boring me.

Nabile: Whatever, I got work to do.

Brynn: (whispers) Fyora help me.

Me: She's stone.

Brynn: I _know_!

_Um, in the other room..._

Hanso: HOW THE HELL DO I KEEP LOSING?

Tomos: *_hides Brucey B's lucky coin behind his back_*

Ogrin: *_snore_*

Xandra: *_turns page_*

Hanso: *_R+ rated swearing_*

Me: ...Seriously, NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING!1!111!

Tomos: There's nothing _to _do.

Me: Oh right.

Ogrin: *_snore_*

_Not too long later..._

Brynn: (on the other side of the door) This feels weird.

Nabile: (same) Trust me girl, you look fantastic. *_goes to room with everyone else_* Okay, Xandra put down your book, boys put down your cards and Ogrin-

Ogrin: *_snore_*

Nabile: ...Nevermind. So, without any further waiting, with the dress by Xandra, look by yours truly, looking like a million neopoints-

Me: *_bored drumming of fingers on table_*

Nabile: -I mean _way _better then that armor she normally wears-

Me: *_puts face in hands_*

Nabile: -because she doesn't _always _have to look like she just left a battlefield, I mean look at me! I'm a street thief, sure, but I have style-

Me: GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT!1111

Nabile: Fine. Here's Brynn!

Brynn: *_walks in other room looking really pretty_*

Xandra: *_blinks_*

Tomos: Wow.

Hanso: *_falls out of chair, hits head_*

Me: Ha!

Brynn: Omg! Are you okay?

Hanso: *_picks himself up_* Yeah, just a little knock on my head, nothing I can't deal with.

Tomos: HOLY SHIT YOU'RE BLEEDING!

Hanso: AHHH! WHERE? _WHERE?_

Ogrin: *_snore_*

Me: Uh, control-Z?

_Hanso's head stops bleeding._

Xandra: *_ROFLing_*

Hanso: You're such a bitch.

Xandra: *_calming down_* Hey Hanso, why did you fall off your chair?

Everyone: *_slow head turn towards Hanso_*

Hanso: *_blushing_* It's just... weird. Seeing Brynn in a dress. I knew her for years and all she ever wore was her armor. You had a point Nabile.

Ogrin: *_snore*_

_Knock on door._

Tomos: *_wakes up Ogrin*_ Hide!

Xandra: _*pushes them both in closet* *picks up book*_

Tomos and Nabile: _*play cards*_

Brynn: _*sits down*_ Come in!

Jazan: *_enters, gives Brynn a once over_* Good job, Nabile!

Nabile: *_giggles*_ Thanks Jazan!

Jazan: _*winks*_

Nabile: _*blows kiss*_

Jazan: _*pretends to catch it*_

Me: _*coughs*_

Jazan: What? Oh, right. So, the date's been set back a bit; who _knows _what's happening in the kitchens...

_Meanwhile, in the kitchens..._

Flotsam chef: Stop using my horn as a skewer!

Ruki chef: What else are you useful for, you don't have any hands!

Bori chef: _Why_ are we so unorganized?

Chef Bonju: Because we have to make a wedding feast in a few days with nothing but random, pretty-looking but useless fruit that grows here! And we're out of frying pans for some strange reason...

Me: _*hides frying pans under desk* _Not as strange as you being here, Bonju. I thought your food sucked ass...

_I'm going to leave before Bonju throws me overboar- I mean, yells at me. Back to the previous conversation..._

Jazan: So, the date's going to be around this Wednesday.

Brynn: I _still _don't remember accepting your proposal...

Jazan: (evasively) Well, no questions then? Nope? Good. See ya! Bye! _*runs out door*_

Hanso and Ogrin: _*leave their previously designated area*_

Tomos: So now what?

Me: Tomos and Nabile find the place with the rings and tablets.

Nabile: Okay! But Jazan will notice if we're gone, wont he?

Xandra: I can cast a form spell... If that's helpful.

Brynn: THANK FAERIELAND XANDRA'S USEFUL FOR _SOMETHING_1!1

Xandra: _*sigh*_ I'll need two subjects to transform though. Where are we going to find two people who can impersonate Tomos and Nabile while they're gone?

Everyone: _*look at Hanso and Ogrin*_

Hanso: Why are you looking at me...

Xandra: Nabile, can I have some of your hair?

Nabile: What? EWW! Stalker!

Xandra: NOT LIKE THAT! I need some of your DNA to do the spell!

Nabile: Oh. Phew. You scared me there. _*pulls out strand of hair*_

Xandra: I'll need yours too, Tomos.

Tomos: Does eyebrow hair work?

Nabile: I've always said that you needed a plucking, Tomos!

Tomos: Crap.

_12 minutes of horribly painful plucking later..._

Tomos: *_watery eyes_* Here... here you go, Xandra.

Xandra: Okay, let's do Nabile first shall we? *_takes hair, faces Hanso, says chant*_

_BRIGHT LIGHT!_

Hanso: *_looks at hands, then looks in mirror, sees normal reflection_* Great Xandra, it didn't work.

Xandra: Yes it did. It's a spell in which only the people looking at you can see your fake form. It's so you don't play with yourself in another's body.

Hanso: …

Brynn: Hanso, you look _exactly_ like Nabile. Sound like her too.

Xandra: Now we need a Tomos.

Ogrin: _*asleep again*_

Xandra: *_casts spell again*_

_BRIGHT LIGHT #2!_

_Ogrin appears to be a sleeping Tomos._

Tomos: Wow, I really look like that?

Me: Yes.

Tomos: Um, c'mon Nabile, let's go.

Both Nabiles: Okay!

Brynn: _*facepalm*_ Hanso, don't do this. Who's the _real_ Nabile?

Nabile #1: I am!

Nabile #2: No, I am!

Xandra: Only one thing to do now. Ready Brynn?

Brynn and Xandra: *_kick both Nabiles in the crotch*_

Nabile #1: OW! *_crosses legs_* WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

Nabile #2: *_small scream, falls to floor*_

Xandra: The one on the floor is Hanso.

Nabile: And you couldn't just ask me questions about myself?

Me: No, I like hurting Hanso too much.

Nabile: _*reads previous scenes_* He _does_ get hurt a lot...

Xandra: Now, out the window with you!

_Long-ass chapter ends here._


	12. Chapter 12

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: I'm here with Hubrid Nox's ghost! How are you?

Nox: I'm frikin' pissed! All people did when I was alive was annoy me and then some deranged Xweetok kills me! And now I'm "remembered fondly" by who knows how many people! Did anyone care before I died? No!

Me: So, do you-

Nox: Yes, I know Jelly World exists.

Me: How did you-

Nox: I can see into peoples minds.

Me: ...That's not such a good idea with me.

Nox: Oh yeah?

Me: It's best if you don't read my mind.

Nox: Don't care! *_reads my mind*_

_5 seconds later..._

Nox: *_breaks away_* I feel... so depressed. Most of the universe makes sense to me but I can't understand mankind. The superficiality all has to do with the majority's opinion, doesn't it? And yet, the majority was the minority at first. Then as ideas gain popularity, the minority turns into the majority, and the majority turns into the freaks. But most other things make perfect sense... I need to lie down. *_leaves_*

Me: That was five seconds in my brain folks. 5 seconds. If he was in there for a minute, he'd probably be pissing himself to sleep at night. *_sigh_*

Chapter 12

_Tomos and Nabile are transported on the castle lawn, or whatever's in front of the door. Nearby, Nightsteed is minding his own business, when he hears what sounds like..._

Nightsteed: Escaped prisoners! I will find them!

Me: So, are you going to be one of those characters that says what they're going to do before they actually do it?

Nightsteed: I will reply to your question. Yes. Now, to walk around and find those escapees!

Me: *_sigh_*

_Meanwhile..._

_CRACK!_

Nabile: What was that?

Tomos:...Crack?

Nabile: Yes!

Nightsteed: Oh dear, I seem to have stepped on an empty Neocola can! Now it appears that it welded to my flaming hoof!

Nabile: *_gasp_*

Tomos: Shhh! _*covers Nabile's mouth with his hand and pulls her behind bush*_

Nightsteed: Now I will attempt to pry it off! Aha! It came off!

Nabile: (whispers) What was that?

Tomos: (same) I don't know, but I don't want it finding us! Keep quiet!

Nightsteed: Now I will look over here!

Tomos: *_screams as a petpet runs past_*

Nightsteed: Aha! I have heard a noise! Now to find it's source!

Nabile: TOMOS YOU JACKASS!

Tomos: Well, now he _definitely _knows where we are!

Nightsteed: More voices!

Nabile: (slow motion) Rrrruuuuunnnnn!

_And they run away..._

Nightsteed: I will catch you prisoners!

Nabile: Faster Tomos!

Tomos: *_speeds up and finds door on the side of the castle_* Quick, in here!

_They hide._

Nightsteed: I will find you soon enough little ones! I smell your fear.

Tomos: ...Really?

Nightsteed: No, but you gave away your position once more!

Me: Is it me, or is this chase scene _really_ boring?

_In the castle..._

_Tomos(Ogrin) is still asleep, Xandra is zapping flies on the ceiling, and Brynn and Nabile(Hanso) are just sitting around._

_Door knock._

Brynn: (whispers) Places, quick!

Nabile(Hanso): *_starts brushing Brynn's hair_*

Jazan: *_enters_* Hello!

Brynn and Xandra: (in bored unison) Hello Jazan.

Jazan: Hey ladies. Nabile?

Nabile(Hanso): *_still brushing_*

Brynn: *_jabs with elbow_*

Nabile(Hanso): What? Oh, hi Jazan. Sorry for not answering, I just, um, you know... *_lightbulb_* I have a lot on my mind!

Brynn: *_thumbs up behind back*_

Me: Jazan, why do you visit these people so much?

Jazan: What else is there to do?

Me: Stop global warming?

Jazan: … I'll just go... and do some...Pilates or something. *_leaves_*

Brynn: Okay, that can't happen again.

Xandra: I know exactly what to do next time!

Tomos(Ogrin): *_snore_*

_Back to the non-epic chase..._

Tomos: You're writing it!

Nabile: *_hits lever with foot, falls down into pit_* AHHHHHHHH!

Nightsteed: I have gotten rid of them, now to prance away into the flower-filled meadows! *_leaves_*

Tomos: *_looks down into pit_* NO! NABILE! Who's going to keep me from doing stupid stunts now? *_sees stone pie_* In your memory, I will eat this pie! *_prepares to take bite*_

_Grappling hook catches the side of the pit._

Nabile: *_climbing up_* Tomos, if you eat that pie, I swear, I will take it from you and shove it up your ass.

Tomos: Nabile! You're okay!

Nabile: No shit, I'm one of the main characters! And I'm way more helpful than you! You were basically useless in LDP!

Tomos: You're so mean!...Where did you find that grappling hook?

Nabile: You don't want to know.

Tomos: But-

Nabile: You don't. Want. To know.

Tomos: ...So what's down there?

Nabile: Find out for yourself, follow me! *_slides down grappling hook rope_*

Tomos: *_follows_*

_In the pit, past the spike drop and water chamber, are two doors. You may only choose one door-_

Nabile: I'll take the left, you take the right.

Tomos: Okay!

… _Fine! Have it your way! Tomos enters the ancient armoury of Brightvale, and finds weapons (and for some reason, rings...wtf?) unlike any he has ever seen before. At the same time, Nabile enters the dusty room and finds to her amazement all sorts of old scrolls and texts._

Nabile: Wow, these are so beautiful! If only I knew what they meant!

Me: They're the old records of everything that has ever happened in Neopia. Every document was made into a copy and given to the smart-ass city of Brightvale.

Nabile: One of these must be about Qasala!

Me: Probably.

Nabile: Which one though?

Me: That's for you to find out. In the meantime, I need to find my statue room in the temple of 2000 tombs.

Nabile: I thought that plot ended years ago...

Me: But you can still look through the temple.

Nabile: ...Anyways. *_gets feather and paper_* I know I can figure this out. Come on Nabile, use your brain!

Me: Where did that paper and feather come from? First Hanso with his pencil and paper, now you... Do ixis have some sort of magical paper-summoning ability?

Nabile: *_sigh_* **No, Narrator, I pulled it out of my ass.**

Me: ...I have a name you know. Echo.

Nabile: Echo?

Me: It's not my _real_ name, but it's not like I'm gonna tell anyone my real name!

Nabile: *_snickers_* Echo?

Me: Nablie, get rid of that thing that covers your mouth. It looks _just_ as lame as Brynn's helmet.

Armin: DISSED!

_Echo note: No, Nox's monologue in the Pre-chapter interview wasn't supposed to make sense. I if did make sense to you...YES! I'M NOT ALONE! *happy dance* *stops* You should be worried._


	13. Chapter 13

_I repeat, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO UPDATE WHILE TIED UP? So I interviewed myself. *breaks free from chains* YOU CAN'T KEEP A CRAZY LIBERAL DOWN!_

Pre-chapter Interview

_Note: "Echo" and "Me" are the same person. Yes, I'm interviewing myself. You got a problem with that?  
_

Me: Hey Echo.

Echo: Hey.

Me: How are you?

Echo: You already know.

Me: At least try to help me with this interview!

Echo: Oh yeah? What have you ever done for me? Huh?

Me: How could you say that! I've always been there for you!

Echo: So why am I crazy? Why am I interviewing myself? How have I ever helped myself?

Me: Echo, I'm starting to scare me...

Echo: I hate this! I hate it all!

Me: You've never really lived until you've either had an argument with yourself, or yelled at yourself. … I really need therapy, don't I?

Chapter 13

_Ah, chapter 13. I thank all the readers that have followed me for this long. You rock!_

_In the castle..._

Xandra: He's coming! Do you remember what to do?

Brynn: How can I forget?

Xandra: Start...Now!

Jazan: *_approaches door_*

Brynn: (to Nabile(Hanso)) SO I WUZ LIKE YA!

Nabile(Hanso): O RLY?

Brynn: YA RLY!

Nabile(Hanso): NO WAI!

Brynn: IKR?

Jazan: Ew, text speak. *_leaves_*

Brynn:...I can't believe that worked.

Tomos(Ogrin): *_snore_*

_Meanwhile, at the Legion of Doom- I mean, the place with the old books..._

Nabile: OMG THIS IS SO SAD!1 I'M SO DEPRESSED I WANNA DIE!

Me: *_frying pan whacks her_* No you don't!

Nabile: Right, too much drama. Sorry. Tomos, listen to this.

Tomos: This had better be important.

Nabile: Once a noble prince, Jazan of Qasala was stuck by a terrible curse. One night his entire city turned into a thing of nightmares. His people became monsters. None were spared... His mother left him when he was young and his father was a real bastard who died shortly after this tragedy occurred. Jazan was doomed to live a tortured existence until he weds the princess of Brightvale. When true love unites, Qasala will live again.

Tomos: Sounds like a load of mushy rot to me. Trust you to waste your time on a silly story! Come see this!

Nabile: Well, it does explain why he's forcing Brynn into marriage.

Tomos: 14 year-old brain bored. Follow me.

Nabile: *_sigh_**_follows_*

Tomos: *_points at rings_* Can you imagine how much these are worth?

Nabile: *_wipes eye_*

Tomos: ...Are you _crying?_

Nabile: (evasively) No! Aren't you supposed to do something stupid?

Tomos: Oh yeah. *_reaches for a ring*_

Nabile: Tomos! Don't!

Tomos: What? Nothing happened.

Nabile: Huh? *_looks around_* Isn't a shadow creature supposed to jump out at us?

Me: Yes, but I already did the grappling hook thing. Besides, it will bring back a lot of bad memories for the readers if I COVER YOU IN A PILE OF SAND! MWAHAHAHAH!

Nabile: *_now a pile of sand* _FUCK YOU ECHO!

_Meanwhile in the castle..._

_BRIGHT LIGHT #3!_

Hanso: What was that about?

Brynn: Oh no! The spell wore off!

Hanso: So I'm me again? Do I still have a black eye?

Me: No, you look normal again.

Hanso: YESSSSSS!

Xandra: A side effect of the spell. However, I can't cast it again until I have more of Tomos and Nabile's DNA. You _do_ know what this means, right Brynn?

Brynn: Of course I don't.

Xandra: You have to stall.

Brynn: Why me?

Xandra: It'll help you get rid of all that suppressed rage you have.

Brynn: ...Fine I'll go.

Ogrin: *_snore*_

_Back to the piles of sand._

Tomos: I hate you for this.

Me: Okay, I need this plot to continue so... *_unsands_*

Nabile: I can breathe! Tomos, don't go picking up anything else. Goodness knows what'll happen to us. Let's go back to the library, we need to figure out a way to lift the curse and free Jazan and Brightvale.

_In the meantime, my pet (Shadow) told the people of Brightvale how to get past the zombies. As they went through the streets towards the castle..._

Jazan: Let them burn, right Scordrax?

Scordrax: *_breathes fire at citizens_*

Me: 'Cause there can never be enough danger in a plot.

Jazan: Hell yeah! *_hi-fives_*


	14. Chapter 14

_Here's chapter 14, 'cause I'm nice like that. *mutters to self* I spoil my readers with my constant updating._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Here's Kanrik.

Kanrik: I never agreed to do this.

Me: Don't care.

Kanrik: I know Jelly World exists.

Me: *_crosses it off list of topics*_

Kanrik: Anything else?

Me: Did you marry Hannah in CoM?

Kanrik: Yes. I mean no! Of course not! We're just... really good friends!

Me: *_listening to music through earphones_*

Kanrik: ...You heard me say no, right?

Me: *_still not paying attention*_

Shadow (my pet Xweetok): I heard. I heard it _all_.

Kanrik: Crap.

Chapter 14

_Brynn is walking through the castle, and sees Scordrax burning the city. Man, imagine her facial expression! XD_

Brynn: That fiend! How dare he do this! I'm going to find that monster and settle this once and for all!

_Walking montage #4_

Brynn: Am I_ forced_ to sing?

Me: It _is _a montage.

Brynn: What do I sing?

Me: *_plays "Bound to the Floor" by Local H_*

Brynn: (sings) Born to be down. Learned all my lessons before now. Born to be down. I think you'll get used to it. And you just don't get it-

Me: See, you got to your destination _much_ quicker!

Brynn: *_goes to balcony_*

Jazan: Ah, my princess.

Brynn: Reminder: I might not be a princess.

Jazan: Close enough. At last you have come to accept my proposal.

Brynn: Is this what you want? To rule a city in flames? To marry a girl that doesn't like you and can't stand to be near you?

Jazan: You have no idea what it's like to live like this. What does love matter?

Brynn: Like, everything!

Jazan: I'll give you full permission to have an affair. Better yet, we'll open the marriage completely! How does that sound?

Brynn: ...You just don't get it.

Me: (singing) Keep it copacetic, and you learn to accept it-

Jazan: (joining in) You know, you're so pathetic. And you just don't get it-

Brynn: TURN THE DAMN MUSIC OFF!

Me: *_turns off music_*

Brynn: Look, you're a, um, nice guy, you're good looking-

Jazan: Thanks. You're not so bad yourself.

Brynn: I'm sure some other girl will take you.

Jazan: ...How many times do I have to mention the prophecy?

Me: She doesn't know _why_ there's a prophecy yet.

Brynn: There's a _reason _behind all this?

Me: Everything has a reason, Brynn. _Everything_.

Brynn: Oh, this is insanity! All you've offered my people is death and misery!

Jazan: Only if you deny me.

Brynn: Isn't forcing people into marriage illegal?

Me: It happens all the time. And this is Neopets, so who knows?

Jazan: Take this ring. *_pulls out double snake ring_* Once you put it on you will be my wife and the torment of your people will end.

Brynn: I don't think you're in the right position to make negotiations, Jazan.

Jazan: Why?

Scordrax: *_breathes fire_*

Jazan: *_burns hand_* OW! *_dunks it in bucket of water_*

_Meanwhile, Nabile makes a startling discovery._

Nabile: HOLY CRAP! Listen to this Tomos! It says that when the curse is lifted Jazan isn't the only thing that will live again...

Me: How is that startling? At all?

Tomos: (bored) And what does that mean?

Nabile: I don't know, maybe his city will be restored or something? Poor Jazan, imagine how wretched his life must be...

Tomos: NO WAY! You have a crush on Jazan? *_pulls out phone_*

Nabile: ...What are you doing?

Tomos: Tweeting.

Nabile: Gimme that. *_takes away phone and smashes it against wall_*

Tomos: You never denied it! YOU NEVER DENIED IT!

Nabile: _And _there's something about the rings in here too. Each one has a purpose. One will help lift the curse, one has the power of witchcraft, one will transport the wearer to where he is needed most...

Tomos: *_humming_*

Nabile: …

Me: Is that "Panic Switch" by Silversun Pickups?

Tomos: Thank Fyora I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LISTENS TO GOOD MUSIC! Nabile...

Nabile: *_confused_*

Tomos: My favorite song is "Substitution".

Me: I prefer "The Royal We", but "Lazy Eye" is also good-

Nabile: DAMMIT GET BACK ON SCRIPT!

Tomos: Fine. *_puts on ring_*

Nabile: Tomos! Don't!

_Trying to stop Tomos from wearing the ring, Nabile grabs his arm. But it's too late... Before they can think twice LOL!_

Nabile: What?

Me: (laughing) Your eyes...in this panel...in LDP! XD

_The Ring of the Lost transports them to where Brynn is confronting Jazan._

Jazan: ...Nabile? Are you holding his arm?

Brynn: …

Nabile: It's not what you think! Uh, Xandra needed to teleport us to... *_sees Brynn_* Get Brynn! Something about the dress... And teleportation only works when the people who are being moved are in contact so-

Tomos: *_texting_*

Nabile: ...I thought I killed your phone...

Me: I lent him mine.

Tomos: *_gives me phone_* Thanks! So, uh...

Nabile: Out of the frying pan...

Tomos: And into the fire!

Jazan: That is one gay line-

Brynn: *_frying pan whacks him_* DON'T USE THAT MOTHERFUCKING WORD!111


	15. Chapter 15

_Hey, it's Echo, talking to you live from my narration office! That's right, I escaped from the dungeon in which I was previously residing. Now, because I narrate only from my office, I hope I will not be captured in the future, because it's a real pain in the ass._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: I'm interviewing the Ogrin. Yes, I've resorted to interviewing characters from this plot.

Ogrin: Hello young one! I sense you are stressed.

Me: Kinda yeah.

Ogrin: I suggest you take a more optimistic approach to this story!

Me: ...How?

Ogrin: You have a story to tell. You have actually gotten around to posting it for all to see!

Me: I guess I did.

Ogrin: Not many people get around to doing that.

Me: *_feeling motivated_* Yeah, you're right! Thanks Ogrin!

Ogrin: Now go write the next chapter!

Me: Yes sir! *_starts typing*_

Chapter 15

Jazan: You should have known better than to leave. It's obvious that I can't trust _any_ of you! Guards! Keep them apart, and keep a close eye on them.

Brynn: Um, _I'm_ the captain of the guards here. Not you.

Jazan: _I_ rule over Brightvale, so there! The wedding shall take place tomorrow, and all your refugees shall help prepare it! Displease me, and I will unleash more terrors on you! *_epic evil lightning flash_*

_So Nabile and Tomos were moved to separate rooms. Meanwhile, Brynn was taken back to her quarters to find only Xandra there._

Zombie Shoyru: You're to be moved and watched. Come with me.

Xandra: Can I say bye to Brynn?

Zombie Shoyru: Make it quick.

Xandra: *_hugs Brynn, gives note_* Bye!

Brynn: Bye?

Xandra: *_leaves with guard_*

Brynn: That was weird... Hanso? Ogrin? *_looks at note_*

Note: Tomos texted us. Hanso and Ogrin hid somewhere in castle. Hope you have a pleasant life. Xandra. P.S. Hanso told me to tell you "fromage". He said you'd understand the joke. 'Cause I don't get what cheese has to do with anything. Ok bye.

Brynn: Thank Faerieland Tomos texted them!

Me: It was my phone. Don't I get any thanks?

Brynn: You're writing this. You are the reason why I'm being forced into marriage.

Me: It's still more exciting than your job as a guard, though.

Brynn: I'll give you that one.

_With terror for their lives, the servants and refugees hurry to fulfill Jazan's orders. Forgotten in the wedding preparations, Tomos waits under guard inside Jazan's tower. Also being watched over, Nabile makes better use of her time._

Nabile: I have read the ancient tablets of Qasala, and I know your prince is not evil at heart, but under a curse.

Pteri: No one has ever bothered to learn our history or known the wickedness that afflicts us.

Nabile: Maybe if I can talk to the prince, we can find a way to lift the curse without hurting anyone.

Pteri: The curse says that he must marry a Brightvale princess, and Brynn's the closest anyone's going to get. Stubborn brat that she is...

Nabile: But the tablets said that the curse will be lifted "when true love unites". Jazan doesn't love her, and it's clear that she will never love him.

Pteri: ...Are you wearing my headband in this panel?

Nabile: No...

Pteri: Givit back thief.

Nabile: Fine. *_gives back headband_*

Pteri: Well, you had better put on something less tatty if you intend to address the prince, though I don't see what good you can do... *_holds out dress_*

Nabile: Just watch. *_takes dress_*

_5 minutes later..._

Nabile: This dress is fucking beautiful.

Pteri: Yes, it belonged to Jazan's mother the queen.

Nabile: This is his_ mom's _dress? Awkward...

Pteri: Yes, she was quite lovely. It makes me happy to see someone wearing it again.

_While the handmaiden escorts Nabile to Jazan's chamber, Tomos grows more bored by the second._

Tomos: I personally think that TNT forgot me.

Me: Probably.

Tomos: (to zombie) Hey, can I have a puzzle or something? There's nothing to do here.

Zombie: Be quiet! I have better things to do than guard a child! I'm sure as hell not going to fetch you puzzles!

_As the guard leaves the room, Tomos notices that his cloth wraps have become loose. Quietly, he ties the loose end to a chair, **cuz a chair can definitely outweigh a zombie.**_

Tomos: *_climbs window_* Look! I'm escaping!

Zombie: Get back in here! If you fall out that window and kill yourself, Jazan will have my hide!

Me: What hide? You're a zombie.

Zombie: SHUT UP! *_trips_*

_In moments, Tomos escapes from Jazan's tower...only to find himself in bigger danger!_

Scordrax: *_breathes fire_*

Tomos: HELP!


	16. Chapter 16

_Here's chapter 16, because it's the weekend and I'm nice. And I kick ass at fighting the meepits._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Hey there Tomos!

Tomos: Wasn't I just running away from Scordrax?

Me: You were.

Tomos: And now...?

Me: And now you're in an interview for my readers to see your reaction when I tell you Jelly World exists.

Tomos: It does?

Me: _*gives him link*_

Tomos: *_crazy laughter_* They said I was insane, they said that there was no such thing... Look who's crazy now! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: o.0

Tomos: *_smashing random things in fit of craziness*_

Me: Hey Armin?

Armin: Already on it. *_frying pan whacks Tomos*_

Chapter 16

_When we last saw Tomos, he was running for his life from Scordrax. Then..._

Scordrax: *_gets knocked down by a blast of water from a fire hose (funny imagery)_*

Tomos: Huh?

Hanso: Tomos!

Tomos: Hanso?

Xandra: Tomos?

Ogrin: Xandra?

Hanso: Ogrin?

Tomos: Xandra?

Xandra: Hanso?

Tomos: Where did that fire hose come from?

Hanso: Nicked it.

Tomos: So you just randomly carry it with you?

Hanso: It's called an inventory. You know, that link at the top of the page that shows a bunch of items that you're carrying around.

Tomos: But a _fire hose_?

Scordrax: *_comes back_*

Xandra: Stand back! *_blasts Scordrax_*

Hanso: Cool. Can you teleport us to Jazan's chamber?

Tomos: Wait, couldn't Xandra just teleport us outside the wall before all this started?

Me: No. No story then. It's a magic wall.

Tomos: Damn you're lazy.

Me: I know :)

Xandra: *_teleports_*

_Meanwhile, Nabile and the handmaiden have already arrived to find the wedding already in progress._

Jazan: Have my bride brought forth.

Brynn: *_being dragged in_* Get your hands off me!

Cybunny wedding person: We are here to bring together Prince Jazan G.I Joe Aladdin Jafar of Qasala and Brynneth Elizabeth Leia of Brightvale. If anyone has any reason why these two should not be married, let them speak now or-

_Tomos, Hanso, Xandra and Ogrin arrive in an epic wedding crash. Think kick open a door and hold up a bunch of guns. But no guns. But the feeling is there. It's there._

Brynn: Oh, hi guys! Where've you been?

Jazan: DAMMIT WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?

Nabile: *_raises hand_* I have a reason why they shouldn't marry!

Brynn: Oh, _finally_!

Jazan: Nabile? What are you- HOLY SHIT IS THAT MY MOM'S DRESS?

Nabile: There was nothing else to wear! Anyways, the prince does not love Brynn and she pretty much hates his guts.

Jazan: How dare you interrupt!

Nabile: JAZAN LET ME FINISH GODDAMMIT!11

Jazan: *_shuts up_*

Nabile: You know I speak the truth. The curse wont be lifted until true love-

Hanso: Aw man, not another of _these _stories!

Nabile: *_deathglare_* Until true love unites you with your bride.

Ogrin: My goodness! It can't be! She looks just like Princess Neera!

Hanso: ...Isn't he blind?

Jazan: Who now?

Xandra: *_reading book_* Hagan's great-aunt. She brought her family to shame when she fell in love with a simple peasant. Her father exiled her to live in the Lost Desert in poverty with her husband.

Hanso: ...Really? He's blind right?

Ogrin: If she truly is a descendant of Princess Neera, than she is of royal blood and Roberta's distant cousin!

Roberta: Oh, so _now_ I'm mentioned!

Me: And you won't be again.

Hanso: Seriously? He's blind? Right- ah forget it.

Nabile: I have read your history Jazan, and I know you were once a kind prince. Deep down I believe that there is still a good heart inside you. This wickedness is the curse, it isn't you! Brynn may not love you, but I do!

Me: Wait, whaaaaaaaat?

Hanso: A little sudden, dontcha think?

Tomos: Nabile, no! Don't do it!

Nabile: Why not?

Tomos: I...I don't know...Uh, who's going to be my partner in crime now?

Hanso: Me!

Tomos: Oh right! Thief buddies! Okay Nabile, do what you wanna do.

Jazan: No one has ever offered me such kindness. Brynn, I release you from your obligation.

Me: You're marrying someone because they were _nice_ to you? What type of fucked up childhood did you have?

Brynn: Woah, woah, woah! No. _I_ dump _you_, not the other way around.

Jazan: Is that how it works?

Me: Apparently.

Brynn: (dramatically) I'm sorry Jazan, but I could never marry someone who was in love with another. (normally) Besides, you're not really my type.

Me: What is your type Brynn?

Brynn: Shut up. Like I'd tell you.

Jazan: Can we get back on track?

_So it came to pass that Nabile, a descendant from the royal line of Brightvale, married Jazan, prince of Qasala. The moment he placed the ring on her finger, the monsters stopped terrorizing the people and Brightvale was restored. Nabile returned with Jazan to Qasala and together they began rebuilding the kingdom... Or at least they would have, if it weren't for the wall that was still there. So they threw a big-ass party instead!_

_Echo Note: Wait, you thought the story ended there? HA! No, this story ain't even close to being finished! Anyways, to explain the names... For Jazan, G.I. Joe (just because I was bored) and Aladdin and Jafar (because LDP reminds people of Aladdin...the Disney movie at least). And for Brynn, Elizabeth (the queen of England who led her country during the war against the Spanish Armada...Basically a warrior queen, in some senses) and Leia (Princess Leia of Star Wars. Why the fuck not?). So... yeah. I think that's it. Randomness.  
_


	17. Party Chapter

_Hey, it's Echo, wondering why the hell I bother to be nice when all it gets me is being beaten up and my hair pulled out, and being locked in my own office with no input about what was good in my chapter. Really. Why bother? Should I be evil? Should I not update for a few weeks? Don't make me angry when all I've done is update for you. _

Party Chapter

_What's a story without a party chapter? Also, I wanted to write something "The Hangover" related. Spoiler Alert!  
_

_WARNING: This may be very disturbing. You have been warned._

Me: Okay main characters, gather 'round!

Tomos: Why?

Me: I need to set some requirements.

Nabile: I thought this was a party! MY WEDDING PARTY! *_starts growling_*

Me: *_frying pan whacks her before she goes all bridezilla on us*_

Nabile: Owwwwwwww...

Me: These are requirements given to me by the various fangirls. If I didn't give them what they wanted, they said that they'd follow me to the end of the earth, and draw a mustache on my face with permanent markers while I sleep.

Hanso: And you _believe_ them?

Me: And you _don't_?

Hanso: ...Good point.

Me: Anyways, here's what has to happen. *_looks over shoulder*_

Random fangirls: *g_lare at me and melt into the shadows*_

Me: *_shiver_* Okay, so _all_ of you are forced to get drunk. Except Tomos.

Tomos: Why?

Me: You're underage.

Nabile: Well, I'm nineteen! I'm underage!

Me: Nabile, you're fucking _married_! If it's your wedding, I'm sure it's okay...right?

Brynn: *_shrugs_* Funny, you'd think you would know these things being a guard.

Me: So yeah, everyone minus Tomos gets drunk.

Hanso: That would have happened anyways.

Me: I don't doubt it. The food is going to suck, so I suggest that someone starts a food fight.

Xandra: Wouldn't that be wrong? We _are _in a palace-

Me: Xandra. Shut up. Third, you are all supposed to either break something or write graffiti on the walls. I'll leave it up to you if you want to do this drunk or not.

Hanso: Can I take something rather than break it?

Me: No.

Hanso: Damn.

Me: Now for the individual requirements. Who wants to go first?

Tomos: Me!

Me: Don't get drunk.

Tomos: ...Anything else?

Me: Nope!

Tomos: So, I just go and enjoy myself?

Me: Yep!

Tomos: See ya! *_leaves_*

Me: Okay, who's next?

Nabile: I guess me.

Me: Okay. *_searches through list_* Nabile...You dance with Jazan on a minimum of five songs for the Nazan fangirls-

Nazan fangirls: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

Me: *_shakes head_* And Jazan, you're also required to take off your headdress at one point.

Jazan: Why?

Me: **Your fangirls want to see your lovely long red hair.**

Jazan: That was sarcasm yet I think there was a bit of truth in that.

Me: Xandra... for some reason, there are Xanso fangirls-

Xandra: DISGUSTING!

Hanso: GROSS!

Me: I thought that you'd say that, so I managed to talk them down to one dance within five feet of each other.

Xandra: *_shakes head in disgust*_

Me: Hanso and Brynn... The Brynnso fangirls want you to dance together for at least one slow song and one fast one.

Brynnso fangirls: WE WANTED MORE THAN THAT!

Me: *_rubs temples_* Armin...

Armin: Got it. *_whacks most of them with frying pan*_

Me: Hanso, your fangirls also want you to take off your jacket at four random intervals.

Hanso: See Jazan? I got fangirls too!

Hanso fangirls: HANSO WE LOVE YOU!

Jazan fangirls: JAZAN IS WAY BETTER THAN HANSO!

Me: *_foreheadpalm_* This is really the _last_ thing I need.

Hanso: *_steps in between the raging fangirls_* Ladies, ladies, there's no need to fight over us-*_gets attacked by Hanso and Jazan fangirls*_

Brynn: *_pulls him out of the crazy group of fangirls*_

Hanso: *_coughs_* Thanks Brynn.

Jazan: Hanso, I thought that you would know better than to step between a crowd of fangirls who love you and a crowd of fangirls that hate you.

Hanso: Now I know.

Me: And knowing is half the battle. So... I think I covered everything...

Nabile: Is there anything _not _on that list that you want us to do?

Me: TOTAL UTTER CHAOS!

Nabile: Now I think that's something we can _all_ agree on!

Me: Now go out there and go CRAZY!

Everyone: ALRIGHT!

_The party takes place in the castle ballroom which I'm just assuming is there. Food on one side of the room, giant dance floor, you know the rest. The guests start to arrive, and basically all the old plot characters are there. What they were all doing in Brightvale at the same time, I will never know. Music starts playing._

Hanso: Awesome! Time to show off my moves! *_goes to dance floor*_

Xandra: *_frying pan whacks him_* You idiot! Don't you know that the first dance is for the bride and groom only?

Hanso: *_rubbing back of head_* It is?

Me: Yes.

_So Nabile and Jazan are dancing..._

Nazan fangirls: *_squeal and faint*_

Nabile: *_whispers to Jazan as they dance_* I never liked the first dance thing. All the people are just looking at you... What if I trip?

Jazan: You won't trip-

Nabile: *_trips_*

Jazan: *_makes the trip look like a dip*_

Nabile: Nice save.

_Song ends._

Me: Alright, we got the shitty first dance out of the way, so now LET'S PARTY!

Everyone: *_cheers and starts rocking out to "Smells like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana*_

Me: *_puts roofies in the booze and punch while everyone else is dancing_* This is gonna be hilarious!

_The next morning..._

Brynn: *_wakes up on ground_* Huh? *_groans_* I have one hell of a hangover. That must've been some party. *_looks around*_

_The castle is a mess. Think people sprawled around on the floor and tables and stairs, food everywhere, liquid on the floor (don't ask if it's booze or not), graffiti on the walls, broken items, people in pain or unconscious, all that jazz._

Brynn: *_struggles to stand up and notices..._* I have a tattoo?

Me: Funny how these things happen.

Brynn: I have a tattoo? Of a bird? On my arm?

Me: Be thankful that's all there is.

Brynn: *_groans_* My head...hurts like a bitch. I don't remember anything!

Me: I put roofies in the booze.

Brynn: … You WHAT? *_winces at loud noise_*

Me: I love watching the outcome of these things.

Brynn: *_trips over Nabile_*

Nabile: OW! FUCK!

Brynn: Sorry Nabile.

Nabile: Jesus, this place is a mess. What happened last night.

Brynn: We drank roofie cocktails.

Nabile: ...Well, that explains most of it.

Brynn: Lets find the others.

_The next room is completely dark._

Nabile: I can't see a damn thing! *_finds light switch_*

_The light is overpowering for everyone in the room._

Brynn: Turn it off! Turn it off!

Nabile: *_turns off light, puts on dimmer switch to a manageable amount of light*_

Brynn: Is that...Jazan?

Jazan: *_facedown on the floor in the middle of the room with his headdress missing*_

Nabile: *_wakes him up_*

Jazan: *_R+ swearing*_ What happened?

_One explanation later..._

Xandra: *_crashes into room dragging a half-awake Hanso with her*_ Found him asleep with his head in a toilet.

Me: Did you take a picture?

Xandra: No, I didn't have a camera.

Hanso: Hello, my fluffy rainbow Raindorf!

Me: ...Hanso, you do know that you're talking to a lamp, right?

Hanso: ...How can you hear what I'm _thinking_?

Me: You said that last part.

Hanso: ...What?

Me: You were thinking aloud.

Hanso: Oh, m'kay.

Me: *_sigh_* I got some cleaning up to do.

_6 hours later, I had gotten all the guests to leave, cleaned up a bit, and helped the characters with their headaches and dehydration. However..._

Nabile: Hey guys? Where's Tomos?

Jazan: He couldn't have gone too far could he? I mean, he didn't have any booze, so-

Me: I put roofies in _all _the drinks.

Brynn: YOU WHAT? _Ow_. My head! *_clutches head_*

Me: Now you have to find Tomos!

Xandra: But this castle is huge! And he could have left! He could be anywhe-

Hanso: *_jumps up_* He's on the roof! ...Ow, shouldn't have jumped. I think my ankle's broken...

Xandra: How would you just _happen_ to know where Tomos is?

Hanso: I saw the movie, Xandy. Heh, Xandy. Xandy Xandy Xandra... *_faints_*

Me: He must have had one to many.

Xandra: What movie? And how does he know Tomos is on the roof?

Hanso: *_waking up_* Well, they _are_ called "roofies"

Brynn: I don't know what movie he's talking about either, but I guess we could check the roof...

_On the roof..._

Jazan: *_gasping_* How many stairs are there in this place?

Brynn: A billion and seven.

Nabile: Why did we take the stairs for shit's sake?

Me: Because there are no elevators and you didn't trust Xandra to teleport you in her current condition.

Nabile: Oh.

Jazan: Right.

Tomos: Guys? That you? *_hiccups_*

Hanso: YEAH! POINT FOR HANSO! *_throws up_* Ew...

Tomos: Glad you guys found me, I don't remember _anything_!

Xandra: I guess we'll never know what happened-

Tomos: Oh look! I have a camera!

Xandra: ...I guess we'll find out now.

Tomos: Okay, we look at it once, than delete anything that we don't want to keep, okay?

Brynn: Agreed.

_Everyone crowds around Tomos and the camera._

Tomos: Here goes...

_Photo montage of random plot characters doing very strange things. If you've seen "The Hangover", you can imagine. For those of you who haven't, uh... One guy pulls out a tooth, random stripping, people getting wasted... All the things you'd expect to see._

Tomos: Well...that was...interesting.

Me: You haven't seen the videos yet!

Brynn: Oh fuck, there are videos _too_?

Tomos: Brace yourselves, people. Here's the first...

Video: *_shows a crowd of crazy fangirls around Jazan_*

Fangirls: (chanting) Do it! Do it! Do it!

Jazan: (obviously very drunk) Okay, okay. *_downs a shot_* Here goes... *_takes off headdress and shakes out hair*_

Fangirls: *_all shriek and try to get the headdress, destroying it in the process*_

Nabile: _*pours a gallon of water over Jazan, kind of like at the end of football games*_

Jazan: Shit! I think I...I think I pissed myself! *_falls over*_

Tomos: (behind camera) Too frikin' funny! XD

Back to now:

Nabile: Tomos? You took these?

Tomos: Hey, I don't remember!

Hanso: I'm in the next one!

Video: *_shows an inebriated Hanso with his fist in the wall. Brynn walks by*_

Hanso: Hey...Hey Brynn?

Brynn: (also heavily intoxicated) What?

Hanso: My hand is...is stuck.

Brynn: Why is your...is your hand in the wall?

Hanso: *_swaying dangerously_* I think I...punched it.

Brynn: Hanso...Hanso, you're drunk.

Hanso: I am?

Brynn: Yeah. Didja...didja try letting go of your fist?

Hanso: No. *_removes hand from wall_* Thanks.

Brynn: *_staggers_* Don't...don't mention it.

Hanso: Brynn?

Brynn: Yeah?

Hanso: You're drunk too.

Brynn: No I'm not!

Hanso: You're not?

Brynn: I don't know...It's late. Go to bed Hanso.

Hanso: Come with me?

Brynn: *_slaps him*_ No.

Hanso: *_falls down*_

Brynn: *_throws up in a garbage can_*

Back to now:

Hanso: …

Brynn: Delete that _now_!

Tomos: Wait, there's one more!

Nabile: Oh God, what now?

Video: *_shows random plot characters and humans alike sitting in a circle*_

Gilly: Spin the Bottle!

Jordie: No, Truth or Dare!

Lillian: How about both?

Gilly and Jordie: Huh?

Lillian: Like this. Hey Xandra!

Xandra: (incredibly wasted) What? _*takes a swig of whatever she's drinking*_

Lillian: I dare you to spin the bottle!

Xandra: Ok fine. *_spins the bottle and it lands on..._* Roxton?

Roxton: Uh...

Xandra: *_kisses Roxton*_

Back to now:

Xandra: DESTROY IT! DESTROY IT!

Brynn: MY EYES! THEY BURN!

Hanso: *_throws up again_*

Tomos: THAT IS SO DISTURBING! *_throws camera to Jazan*_

Jazan: I DON'T WANT THIS PIECE OF SHIT! _*throws camera to ground*_

Nabile: _*takes out machine gun and shoots the camera into atoms*_ YOU CAN'T HURT ANYONE ANYMORE!

Me: ...That disturbed me. I have learned my lesson about roofies.

Xandra and Jazan: *_take turns zapping the broken camera*_

Tomos: We _never_ mention this again. Understood?

Everyone: *_nods_*

Me: *_shivers_* I may never write another party chapter again.


	18. Chapter 17

_I am happy today. Random fact._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Here I am with Nabile!

Nabile: *_asleep_*

Me: … _*wakes her up*_

Nabile: *_groan_* Fucking hangover.

Me: Nabile, I have to do an interview. You need to participate.

Nabile: Not so loud!

Me: This...this was just a bad idea, wasn't it?

Nabile: *_asleep again_*

Me: *_leaves link to Jelly World next to her_* If she has any sense, she'll know what to do with this.

Chapter 17

Me: I apologize for the short chapter.

_It took weeks to recover from the party. Once Jazan had recovered his strength, he attempted to use his magic to restore King Hagan and banish the zombies. However, IT DIDN'T WORK! So... they did the logical thing and switched back to the TFR plotline._

Jazan: Shit! Man, it's like I have no power over my minions anymore!

Hanso: **That's way too bad**.

Jazan: *_frying pans Hanso_*

Hanso: WHY THE HELL DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!/1/1/1

Brynn: Ah, it feels good to be back in the armor.

Nabile: You did look _way_ better in the dress, though.

Hanso: I'll say.

Ogrin: Ninja...senses...tingling...

Xandra: Oh for the love of- WHAT IS IT NOW!

Ogrin: Shadow Wraiths... attacking Brightvale...possessing the zombies... destruction...

Me: That has to be the most interesting thing he has said yet.

Random Krawk: Stop thief!

Hanso: Aw fuck. *_runs away_*

Brynn: Seriously? *_runs after Hanso_* I just can't get a break, can I? *_tackles Hanso_*

Hanso: *_falls down_* Oof! Heh, hi Brynn. What's happening?

Brynn: *_handcuffs him_* Really, I think there's something wrong with you. Are you some sort of kleptomaniac?

Hanso: Seems likely, doesn't it?

Me: For you people who don't know what a kleptomaniac is, it's someone who is addicted to stealing things. Random fact.

Brynn: *_pulls Hanso up_*

Krawk: Thanks miss. This scoundrel here stole my wallet!

Brynn: *_takes wallet away and gives to Krawk_* Hanso, this has to be some sort of record. Stealing and getting caught for the 2,375 time.

Hanso: _That_ many?

_Back with the other group..._

Jazan: *_ties Hanso to a tree*_ I knew he was up to no good!

Me: **Sure you did.**

Jazan: So we throw him in a dungeon until this is all over.

Ogrin: Jazan, have you ever thought it unwise to derive happiness from the misfortune of others?

Jazan: I'm doing what has to be done! I'm not _happy_ about it... Okay, maybe a little...

Nabile: Let's look back at what needs to be done. How do we destroy this wall?

Hanso: Uh, excuse me?

Brynn: We could have Xandra levitate some of us over it and destroy it from both sides.

Hanso: I hate to interrupt but...

Xandra: That would take hours and might not work. How about dynamite?

Hanso: Please, would somebody-

Brynn: HANSO! WHAT COULD IT _POSSIBLY_ BE NOW?

Hanso: Evil shadow creatures intent on destroying us all.

Tomos: Wait, what?

_Epic battle between shadows and neopets follows._


	19. Chapter 18

_Hey, it's Echo. Just warning you all that I'm running out of pre-typed up chapters. However, these next chapters are longer than I usually write, so if I'm late at one point for an update, don't worry! I'm still writing... it just may take a while._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Now I'm interviewing Jazan.

Jazan: Wasn't I just fighting wraiths?

Me: Now you aren't.

Jazan: I wanna kill some wraiths.

Me: Not now.

Jazan: I need to show off my fighting skills!

Me: Jelly World exists.

Jazan: What does this have to do with me killing wraiths?

Me: Did you know this before?

Jazan: No.

Me: *_gives him link_* You can go there after this plot is finished and kill the Jelly Blobs Of Doom, okay?

Jazan: ALRIGHT!

Chapter 18

_The heroes-by-default are battling wraith creatures._

Brynn: What _are_ they?

Xandra: Didn't you hear the Ogrin last chapter? These are Shadow Wraiths!

Jazan: These are...something else!

Me: Too epic of a line to be forgotten.

Hanso: Brightvale is being overrun with these things! And there's the wall and the stoned! We need to stop this!

Ogrin: He's right. These things are a diversion from our greater purpose.

Hanso: Thanks old man, but can somebody help me here?

Wraith: *_prepares to either kill Hanso or eat him_*

Hanso: AH!

Brynn: *_breaks rope and kills wraith_* Don't make me regret this.

Hanso: Cheers Brynn.

Me: If it wasn't obvious enough that you all are British, _this_ is a dead giveaway.

_About an hour of Wraith ass-kicking later..._

Tomos: So, what now?

Ogrin: When the Tonu charges at the Usul with all its force, it's the wise Usul who steps aside...leaving a tripwire for the Tonu, of course.

Nabile: What does that have to do with _any_ of this?

Xandra: My old person/English translator is broken, so I don't know. What do you think Brynn?

Brynn: Some of us should stay and fight the creatures for a lack of anything better to do, and I will go to the library. There should be something there.

Hanso: Why is there always a library in these plots?

Xandra: Library? OMFG I LOVE LIBRARIES! I mean, uh, can I come too?

Brynn: Sure, why the hell not?

Xandra: *_jumps in air and fistpump_s* Yes!

Jazan: Lock the thief there while you're at it.

Tomos: Me?

Jazan: No.

Nabile: _Me_!

Jazan: Hell no! I meant Hanso!

Me: Jazan, there are three thieves here and none of them are mind-readers. You will have to be more specific in the future.

Jazan: Right. I'll make a mental note of that. Hanso will keep in the dungeons until this is all sorted.

Hanso: Yeah, like those dungeons have _ever_ been able to hold me, right Brynn?

Brynn: Fine. Come on Hanso. *_drags him away by arm*_

Hanso: You're holding my hand Brynn!

Brynn: I don't fucking care.

_Walking montage #5_

Xandra: Don't think for a second that I'm not going to insist that you lock him up. You obviously have a soft spot for this rogue.

Brynn: *_blushing_* Of course I will! I said as much, didn't I?

Me: 2 things are wrong with this picture in TFR. First, how do you blush when you're covered in fur?

Brynn: Uhhhh...

Me: And second, you're pulling your arm away from him in this picture. Why? Were you _still_ holding his hand?

Brynn: *_blushing even harder_* Of course I wasn't!

Hanso: Hey! Brynn! Not cool! After all we've been through? You wound me, really!

Xandra: Just as I and everyone else in the world who read this plot expected! You have some sort of history! Spill it. *_takes out popcorn and soda and sits down*_

Brynn: He tried to pick my pocket my first time on patrol. I took him in, but he escaped the next morning.

Hanso: Of course, I _let_ her catch me that first time to boost her confidence.

Me:** Sure you did.**

Brynn: *_flashback to when they were 8 or something, Brynn giving back an old lady her purse while Hanso is cuffed_* Before I knew it we were crossing paths again...*_flashback to 14, Brynn giving a guard back his shit while Hanso is concealing hidden laughter_* And again... God, I can't believe I thought that hat looked good.

Hanso: Look at my hair! XD

Brynn: *_flashback to chapter one with Kanrik and Hanso with sleeves_*...And again. But as that gives _no _information whatsoever on why I trust him, I'll tell you the FULL story.

Xandra: *_eating popcorn_* This is getting good!

Brynn: So, I was raised by my mother until I was 4 years old. I never had a dad. Mom died and like every other orphan in Brightvale I went to the king. King Hagan gave me a home and sent me to the school for orphans. That is where I first met Hanso.

Hanso: She couldn't take her eyes off me.

Brynn: I didn't take much notice of him, as I _actually_ had friends. When I was 6 years old, I wanted to be a Brightvale guard. My training began then. That is where I first caught Hanso and when we talked for the first time.

Hanso: As time went by, she knew me better than most of my friends did. Every time I got caught, we would talk a bit. Then she started to visit me in prison-

Brynn: THAT WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING!

Hanso: **Right**. So it would be like that. We would acknowledge each other in the hallways during the school year, and I would get caught occasionally in the summer. Then we went out in sophomore year-

Brynn: For less than three weeks! And _I_ broke up with _you_, if I'm not mistaken.

Xandra: Ooh, gossip! _*more popcorn*_

Hanso: You were crazy about me.

Brynn: As if! _You _were the one who drooled every time I passed by!

Me: This is getting _really_ weird...

Brynn: Huh? Oh right, the story! So, basically, we knew each other for years and developed... well, not exactly _friendship_ but... well, I trusted him.

Hanso: Wait, _trust__ed_?

Xandra: Wow Hanso, you must be a _terrible _thief.

Hanso: Those were only a few times I got caught out of hundreds of heists! And I had my reasons for being taken in!

Me: And what might those be?

Hanso: Um...

Me: Perhaps a certain guard...

Hanso: What? No! No, no, no.

Brynn: She has a point, Hanso. Out of the 2,375 times you were caught, I caught you 2,328 of those times.

Me: *_suppressing laughter_*

Xandra: Anyways, I should be off to my books. Someone's got to find a way to counteract this spell.

Brynn: Good luck, Xandra. I hope one of us finds something useful.

Xandra: And when you lock him up Brynn, don't forget to throw away the key. *_leaves_*

Hanso: Wow. She _really_ hates me.

Brynn: I'm sorry. I said some things I shouldn't have.

Hanso: Hey, you were just being honest.

Brynn: It's just that, I never told you about this, I almost lost my position in the guards because I trusted you.

Hanso: Wow. I feel _terrible_ now.

Me: That's not your line.

Hanso: *_sigh_* We should get going. I've got a date with a dungeon cell. Wouldn't want to be late.

_The rest of the montage is an awkward silence in which Hanso and Brynn would occasionally glance at each other and look away quickly._

_Meanwhile..._

Tomos: So... what do we do now?

Nabile: Look! Shadow Wraiths headed for Brightvale! We should stop them!

Jazan: Sweet! I get to kill more shadows!

_Epic hold-them-off battle follows._

_Meanwhile (again)..._

Hanso: Hey Brynn, random thought. Why the _hell_ is King Skarl in the Gallery of Heroes? What did he even _do_?

Brynn: He _stole_, that's what he did! Like you.

Hanso: *_sigh_* Brynn, I get it. Look, I know stealing is bad. No one knows that better than me.

Brynn: What are you-

Hanso: *_jumps up on a rock. Wind starts blowing, golden light shines down, dramatic music plays_* I know that stealing is wrong. It's because of me that we're all in this mess. _I'm_ the one that stole the artefact, _I'm_ the one who sold it, so yes, it's my fault. That's why I have to help. I _will_ save Brightvale from these creatures, I _will_ help bring down the wall, I _will_ set things right! It won't excuse my past deeds, but I will help, no matter what the cost! *_music, wind and light fade away slowly*_

Brynn: (shocked) Hanso, that was...that was beautiful...

Hanso: Thanks for the special effects, Echo!

Me: _*turning off giant fan, spotlight and stereo_* Don't mention it! I love a good monologue!

Hanso: Ain't that the truth.

Random fangirl: OMG IT'S HANSO!

Me: Fuck! I had to deal with the Jazan fangirls already, now the Hanso ones too?

Shadow (my pet Xweetok): And the Brynnso fangirls. And complainers.

Me: *_R+ swearing*_

Hanso: ...Yeah, let's keep going.

_In the city..._

Brynn: Do things look...different to you?

Hanso: Now that you mention it, yeah. It's too quiet. And the sky is all grey.

Brynn: It's as though the life were being sucked out of everything.

Hanso: And Xandra's not even here...

Brynn: There's no time for jokes. I need to get to the library ASAP.

_In the castle..._

Hanso: I guess this means you have to do your duty.

Brynn: Guess so.

Hanso: You know, you don't _have_ to lock me up. I won't tell anybody!

Brynn: I'm sorry. *_cuffs him_* It's better this way. *_puts him in cell_* For the both of us.

Hanso: Wait!

Brynn: What?

Hanso: Where did my handcuffs go?

Brynn: Woah! Plot hole! Plot hole!

Me: Uh, Hanso broke out of them because you forgot to take his arm thing that has those tools in them?

Brynn: That...makes sense. *_takes away thing that Hanso wears around his arm*_

Hanso: But I could help you! Two sets of eyes are better than one!

Brynn: Just stay here. I'll only be gone a while, I promise.

Hanso: At least say that you still trust me! I don't care what the others think of me, but you...

Brynn: I...I have to go. Just stay safe. I'll be back soon.

_And so we follow Brynn-_

Hanso: Hey wait a minute! What about me?

Me: Yeah, like what are you going to do that's even remotely interesting? Sit around, stare at the ceiling?

Hanso: …

Me: That's right. Nothing.

_And so we follow Brynn into the library. There's the orange Yurble who has had so many random jobs that-_

Yurble: Ah, you must be one of the library interns I requested!

Me: Uh, actually-

Yurble: Well? Get to work! We've got to get the archives cleaned up! No one's been down there for years, and Captian Brynn's got to find some book.

Me: I know, I'm the narr-

Yurble: GET TO WORK!

_So now, I get to organize shelves. **Yippee**._

Brynn: I can help you if you want.

Me: You want to see Multi-Job Angry Yurble even angrier?

Brynn: Is that even _possible_?

Me: Just watch. *_organizes books in a __completely__ wrong fashion* _And now... *_rings bell_*

Yurble: Are you done yet? *_looks at shelves_* Son...I AM DISSAPOINT!

Me and Brynn: *_silent laughter*_

Yurble: _*takes all the books down and leaves*_

Me: Okay. Correctly this time. *_throws all useless books away*_

_You have gotten an achievement!_

Me: Yeah, yeah, I know.

_8 minutes later..._

Yurble: Okay, took you long enough. Captain Brynn needs to search this room, so clear off! *_leaves_*

Brynn: *_looks at shelf* _Well, there's nothing here.

Me: How do you know?

Brynn: Well, I doubt the artefact would be under "Potpourri", "Ineffective teleportation spells", "Forbidden lasagna recepies" or "Harmless faerie artefacts".

Me: Damn, you're right! Well, I still have another achievement so...

_10 minutes later..._

Yurble: *_blinks in surprise*_

Brynn: (whispers) You blinded him with library science! *_laughs_* Oh look! "Harmful faerie artefacts"! There should be something... *_searches through books_* OMG I FOUND SOMETHING! I gotta show Hanso! *_runs away*_


	20. Chapter 19

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Today I'm interviewing Brynn!

Brynn: But I have to get this book to Hanso!

Me: He can wait.

Brynn: But-

Me: HE CAN WAIT!

Brynn: ...Fine, but make it quick.

Me: Jelly World exists.

Brynn: o.0

Me: *_waits for reaction_*

Brynn: *_still looks shocked*_

Me: Brynn? You okay?

Brynn: I...what was I doing before this?

Me: Rushing off to find your boyfriend.

Brynn: Right... HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

Chapter 19

Brynn: Hanso, look!

Hanso: *_waking up_* Ugh, I _still_ have that hangover.

Brynn: I found something!

Hanso: The key to this cell, I hope.

Brynn: Nah, I have it strapped to my ankle. I found a book!

Hanso: **Great.** Let me sleep...

Brynn: It has a picture of the artefact you stole in it!

Hanso: (wide awake) Gimme that... *_takes boo_k* No, that's not the artefact I st- um, liberated-

Me: Really? "Liberated"?

Hanso: ...Yes, _liberated_ from Xandra, though I guess there's a resemblance. It's slightly larger-

Me: How would you know? Unless the picture is actual size, which I doubt it is.

Hanso: There's a scale at the bottom of the picture.

Me: Oh, okay.

Hanso: Can it save Brightvale and the stoned?

Brynn: Probably? Maybe? I don't know... The text is a bit unclear. *_takes book back*_

Hanso: So everyone's as doomed as they were before?

Brynn: OH SHUT UP HANSO! Do you know how _annoying _it is to put up with your bitching all the time? And at least I'm trying to save Brightvale, and not making smart-ass remarks!

Me: Yeah, that's _my_ job!

Hanso: It's a bit hard to try to help when you're locked in a cell, darling.

Brynn: *_shakes head*_ I was going to let you out and kiss you in a happy, spur-of-the-moment sort of way, but in the direction that this conversation is going...

Hanso: I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!

Brynn: Hahahahaha! *_LOLs_*

Hanso: What are you loling about?

Brynn: Um, nothing. *_snicker_* Hanso, can you spell "desperate"?

Hanso: Well, _duh_, I live in _Brightvale_. D-E-S-P-E-R-...Hey wait a minute!

Brynn: *_LMAOing_*

Hanso: *_overly-dramatic hurt face*_

Brynn: *_ROFLing_* Hanso... stop before I...before I LSHTICMP!

Hanso: What's that?

Me: Laughing So Hard That I Crap My Pants.

Hanso: ...I'm _so_ going to use that next time I get a funny text!

Brynn: *_calming down*_

_Silence. _

Me: Why is nothing happening?

Brynn: This is supposed to be the part where we hear an attack and I leave.

Me: ...Shit, I _knew_ I forgot something! Brb.

_Meanwhile..._

Tomos: (gasping for breath) How...long have we...have we been fighting these...these things?

Nabile: (same) I don't...I don't know...

Jazan: (still fighting) Die bitch! *_kills wraith_* And you! _*kills other wraith*_

Me: Um, hey guys!

Nabile: So _now_ you remember us!

Me: Yeah, so I need the wraiths to attack the city now, so you can go and try to take down the wall.

Tomos: Will we succeed?

Me: No, but you do get to use use this mini atomic bomb!

Jazan, Nabile and Tomos: OMFG AWESOME! *_take bomb and leave*_

Wraith: So...we attack the city now?

Me: Sure, go ahead.

Wraith: Cool. Wraiths...ATTACK!

Me: Okay, back to my other group of jackasses.

_Meanwhile back at the dungeons..._

Me: Okay, so the wraiths are on their way, they should be here in about 30 to 45 minutes.

Brynn: What do we do in the meantime?

Me: Read some old plot comics, I guess.

Hanso: Oh! Do you have CoM?

Me: *_looks through pile of plot comics_* Uh, Champions of Meridell or Curse of Maraqua?

Hanso: Maraqua.

Me: *_throws it in his direction_* Heads up!

Hanso: *_catches it_* Thanks!

Brynn: Do you have ToW?

Me: Here. *_gives her ToW*_

Brynn: Thanks. *_starts reading*_

_5 minutes later..._

Hanso: I _knew_ it!

Brynn: Huh?

Hanso: Chapter 2 of CoM! Look at the bride and groom!

Brynn: *_looks_* It _does_ look like Hannah and Kanrik!

Hanso: Can I keep this?

Me: Sure, why not?

Hanso: Sweet. Kanrik will wish he _never_ messed with me...

_25 minutes later..._

Hanso: Hey Brynnie?

Brynn: Don't call me that.

Hanso: Why not?

Brynn: Do you want another black eye?

Hanso: No.

Brynn: Then don't call me that. *_reads_*

Hanso: Hey Brynndy?

Brynn: Brynndy?

Hanso: *_shrugs_*

Brynn: *_sigh_* These pet names aren't working out.

Hanso: Maybe if you'd just let me call you sweetheart-

Brynn: No.

Hanso: Darling?

Brynn: *_facepalm_* Hanso, did you _want_ something at the beginning of all this?

Hanso: All the time baby, all the time!

Brynn: (loses cool) HANSO!

Hanso: Okay, okay! I was just hungry. What do we have to eat?

Me: Books, I guess. Oh, and expensive and pretty fruit that only fills you up by one point.

Hanso: Seriously, _why_ do people pay that much for fruit when they can just go to Tyrannia for a free omelette that fills you up three times as much?

Brynn: Or to Jelly World, where the jelly-

Hanso: Jelly World doesn't exist, Brynn.

Brynn: But I just-

Me: He doesn't know yet!

Hanso: Know what?

Brynn: He hasn't had an interview yet?

Me: Nope. Now he'll have to have the next one.

Brynn: Oh! Sorry.

_Ching klang klang ching klang ching._

Hanso: What's that?

Brynn: It sounds like an attack!

Hanso: In _Brightvale_? The land of books and stained glass?

Me: Are you _already_ forgetting what happened here two weeks ago?

_Distant explosion._

Brynn: What the hell was _that_?

Me: Oh right.

_Meanwhile..._

Tomos: Damn, that wall's _still_ intact!

Nabile: Great way to spend our honeymoon, right Jazan? Killing wraiths, blowing stuff up. This is the life!

Jazan: Yeah, but why does Tomos have to be here?

Me: Where else am I supposed to put him?

Tomos: Uh guys? Where's the Ogrin?

_Short silence._

Nabile: MOTHERFUCK!

Jazan: *_facepalm_* We forgot the Ogrin.

Me: *_sigh_*

Ogrin: *_appears out of nowhere_* He who won't admit mistakes, commits mistakes. Now what, my friends?

Jazan: Friends?

Tomos: We...fight more wraiths?

Nabile: *_shrugs_* What else is there to do?

_So they search for more wraiths to kill._

_Meanwhile...again..._

Brynn: *_draws sword* _I need to go see what's happening. You stay here.

Hanso: It's dangerous out there! Let me come with you and watch your back!

Brynn: I can take care of myself, thank you very much.

Hanso: But-

Me: Hanso, when a girl says they can take care of herself, you don't save her until it's _absolutely_ necessary.

Brynn: Take care of the book! *_gives him book_* It might be our only chance to save Brightvale.

Hanso: That's it? Just the book? Fine. Go. But no crazy heroics.

Brynn: Same to you.

Hanso: I'm no hero, just a thief, remember? That's why I'm behind these bars.

Brynn: Stay here. I'll be back, don't worry! *_leaves_*

Hanso: Don't make promises you might not be able to keep. Now what do I do?

Me: Use your ixi-Macgyver skills.

Hanso: Right. *_uses his belt and some random fabric to make a lasso thing to get his arm thing with the tools and picks the lock*_ And now... Help, guards! *_hides on the ceiling*_

Bill and Joe: *_walk in_*

Hanso: *_falls from ceiling and knocks their heads together*_ Please understand I hold you in the highest respect. Wait a minute... Bill and Joe? Umm... *_leaves_*


	21. Chapter 20

Pre-chapter interview

Me: Now I'm interviewing Hanso.

Hanso: I have to save Brynn!

Me: She can take care of herself. How do you pronounce your name?

Hanso: Hanso.

Me: Yes, but is it pronounced the "Han Solo" way or the "handsome" way?

Hanso: It's just...Hanso.

Me: Jelly World exists.

Hanso: …

Me: *_shows him link_* I wanted to wait until you started insulting Xandra so I could be like "Hey Hanso, Jelly World exists!" but Brynn slipped up.

Hanso: So everyone else knew?

Me: You're the last plot character.

Hanso: ...Can you help me find a profile picture for Facebook?

Me: What?

Hanso: I was the last to know, so now you will help me find my new profile pic. Understand?

Me: ...Fine.

Chapter 20

_Hanso has escaped and now finds..._

Hanso: Woah!

_Brynn is fighting many wraiths in the middle of Brightvale plaza. Around her, more wraiths are terrorizing the citizens and destroying stuff._

Brynn: *_shows off her epic fighting moves_* Die bitch! *_kills wraith and gets sword stuck in a wooden post_* Aw crap!

Giant Wraith Monster: _*shows up from behind*_

Hanso: Oh no! That thing's gonna kill Brynn!

Me: *_sigh_* Cliché save-the-princess time?

Hanso: You bet! *_runs up behind wraith*_

Brynn: *_glares at monster*_

Me: **Because that will totally stop him until you free your sword, right?**

Brynn: Fuck you!

Hanso: *_jumps on Giant Wraith Monster's back*_ LIKE A G-6!

Giant Wraith Monster: *_falls over*_

Brynn: *_frees sword*_

Hanso: *_gets up, dusts himself off_* Brynn! Break out the heavy artillery!

Brynn: ...What are you _talking_ about?

Hanso: Don't you remember that semi-automatic .22 rifle I got you for your 16th birthday?

Brynn: Yes, but I left it with my other armor. This is my sword carrying armor.

Hanso: You left one of the more powerful weapons you have at home despite the fact that we're in a plot?

Brynn: I didn't know that we were going to be in a plot!

Hanso: Wait... Aren't you going to ask me how I escaped?

Brynn: Nope.

Hanso: Why not?

Brynn: TNT didn't think it seemed to matter. Besides, I've known you for long enough to know not to question your escaping methods.

Me: These aren't your lines. ...But I _do_ want to see that gun.

Hanso: This is ridiculous! We should go; there's nothing we can do here.

Brynn: NO! I will _not_ abandon Brightvale to these things!

Hanso: *_grabs her arm*_ We barely made it out of the border of Brightvale alive, and that was with the Ogrin ninja...And even Jazan! The two of us don't stand a chance!

Brynn: *_yanks arm away_* You can go Hanso, this isn't your fight!

Me: Fail line. On the other hand... HANSO YOU GOT REJECTED! XD

Hanso: Fine, stay here and die if you want. I'm leaving! *_turns away*_

Brynn: Hanso!

Hanso: *_stops_* (to me) See? She can't reject me for long. *_turns around*_ So you finally came arou- SON OF A BITCH!

Brynn: *_throws sword at Hanso*_

Hanso: *_ducks. Sword kills wraith behind Hanso and knocks out a bit of stone that hits him in the head_* OW! WHY DO YOU LIKE HURTING ME SO MUCH?

Me: Hey! TNT put this in this time! ...And it's funny to see you in pain. No offense. ...How's _this_ for a profile picture?

Hanso: HELL NO!

Brynn: Oh yeah! Saved your life! You owe me! *_wraiths surround her_* Wow. I am such a dumbass. *_facepalm_* I lost my only weapon. *_sigh_* You guys don't ever let up do you? Come on, do your worst!

_Brynn fights the wraiths in an epic, Matrix-style combat. Meanwhile..._

Hanso: *_rubs head_* Ow. That's gonna hurt in the morning. Shit, did you really have to do that Brynn? ...Brynn? *_sees wraiths take Brynn away_* _BRYNN_! Brynn! No!

Wraiths: Groarrrrr!

Me: *_headdesk_* **Yeah, that's **_**really**_** scary.**

Wraith: *_flips me off_*

Hanso: Uh oh. What do I do now?

Me: What you wanna do.

Hanso: _Anything_...?

Me: ...Nevermind. I don't want to know what you're thinking. Just... just save Brynn.

Hanso: Okay. How do I do that?

Me: Some stupid way that makes little to no sense.

Hanso: Like...that catapult?

Me: Eh, fine.

Hanso: *_grabs Brynn's sword_* Brynn... _*sniffs it*_

Me: ...Okay, that was just plain creepy.

Hanso: What? Oh, uh, I was just... um...

Me: *_sigh_* Just save her, you douche.

Hanso: _*goes to catapult, sits down and slices rope_* This may be a bad idea.

Me: **Ya think?**

Hanso: *_gets flung over Brightvale_* AAAAHHHHH! *_lands in tree_* Oof! *_falls from branch to branch, lands on ground*_ How am I not dead? Or hurt?

Me: Hell, I don't know.

Hanso: *_sad look* _ Brynn. ...How's _this_ for a profile picture? It shows that there's a sensitive side to me-

Brynn: HANSO!

Hanso: Brynn? Is that you? Lead me to you!

Brynn: *_yells from a group of wraiths escorting her behind the castle on the Brightvale map where __anything__ can be_* Hanso! If you can hear me, take the book to Xandra! She'll know what to do!

Hanso: Hm. Either I get to spend "quality time" with Xandra and a book while Brynn gets ripped to shreds, or save Brynn. Hm. *_serious look_* Sorry Brynn. ...How's _this_ for a profile picture? It shows a serious, contemplative side to me-

Me: SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH SAVING HER!

Hanso: Sorry Brynn. Xandra's going to have to wait. *_fastens collar over his face*_

Random fangirl: I LOVE YOU HANSO! _*steals coat*_

Me: OKAY WHO LET HER IN HERE?

Hanso: She stole my coat! My signature trademark!

Me: *_gives him spare*_ Take this one.

Hanso: Thanks. *_puts it on*_

Me: Hanso, I suggest you _don't_ go ninja until you find Brynn.

Hanso: Yeah, good idea.

_Many hours later..._

_Brynn is being pushed into a cave on the other side of Brightvale. Meanwhile, Hanso stalker-watches her, hidden behind a tree._

Wraith: Anything you say can be used against you! You have the right to remain silent!

Brynn: Dude, I work in law enforcement. I know this shit already.

Wraith: You work in law enforcement? I can use that against you!

Brynn: …

Wraith in back: My back itches!

Wraith: We are amorphous blobs of shadow Steve, we don't itch.

Wraith in back (Steve): Oh yeah.

Wraith: *_throws Brynn in cave*_

Brynn: *_lands on face*_ OW! FUCK! YOU COULD HAVE oh wait I'm fine.

Xandra: Brynn?

Brynn: Xandra?

Me: Xandra?

Xandra: Echo?

Shadow: Brynn?

Brynn: Shadow?

Steve: Yes?

Brynn: Wasn't talking to you.

Steve: My bad.

Brynn: Anyways...What are you doing here?

Xandra: Well, I was coming to see if you'd found anything, then these _things_ came out of nowhere and grabbed me!

Me: Interesting alibi. Can you explain where you were between 1pm and 4pm Eastern Standard Time?

Xandra: Um, I'm in the Pacific time zone-

Brynn: HOLY! What...What the crap are those?

Xandra: Hm. It seems that these pets are having the life sucked out of them by this kind of purple goo. It's very disturbing. Very.

Brynn: *_panic mode/hyperventilation*_

Xandra: *_frying pan whacks her*_

Brynn: Owch. Thanks, I needed that.

Xandra: Did you find anything in the library?

Brynn: Hm...I think I...Damn, that last whack really did something to my memory... What the hell happened? Where am I? Who are you? What the crap are those? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Me: *_fish-slaps her_*

Brynn: Oh, I remember now. Yeah, I found a book.

Xandra: NO FRICKIN' WAY! Can I, um, just...see it for a few minutes?

Brynn: Well, Hanso has it now, but we got separated-

Xandra: No Hanso? THANK YOU UNIVERSE!

Brynn: ...So, I don't have it with me- MOTHERFUCK! Something touched my shoulder...

Hanso: _*in the darkness, ninja look_* Shhhh...

Me: Now THAT'S a profile picture!

Hanso: Oh yeah!

Brynn: Hanso?

Xandra: Hanso...

Hanso: Xandra?

Shadow: Brynn?

Me: WE'VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH THIS!

Hanso: We have?

Brynn: Oh yeah. So... Now what?

Me: The nightmare called: The Shadows Beneath.

Brynn: *_groans_*

Hanso: *_on laptop*_

Xandra: ...Where did you get that?

Me: I gave it to him.

Hanso: Need...to...update...profile picture!

Brynn: _Now_?

Hanso: Photoshopping...

Me: This may take awhile.

_Meanwhile..._

_Jazan and Nablie are laying on their backs, looking at the stars in a grassy clearing. (For you Nazan fangirls)_

Jazan: See? And over there is the Farmer.

Nabile: Damn, I still can't find the Dancer constellation! I'm on that one- oh wait, was on that one in the Altador plot. I can't continue because of this goddam wall! *_cries_* I miss the Desert, I miss my home...

Jazan: *_holds her hand_* It's okay Nabile. We will take down this wall eventually, and we will return to the Desert as king and queen, husband and wife.

Nabile: You...You mean that?

Jazan: *_sits up* _I do.

Nabile: *_sits up as well_* Oh Jazan...

Me: _*pretending to barf*_

_Then the silver light shines down on them and the doves fly past-_

Jazan: SON OF A BITCH! One of them shat in my eye!

Me and Shadow: *_silently laughing our asses off*_

_That leaves Tomos with the Ogrin..._

Tomos: Dammit! I don't want to be around old people! They smell like shit and don't do anything interest-

Ogrin: Wanna cig? *_holds out pack of cigarettes*_

Tomos: ...No. I don't smoke.

Ogrin: Then can you light this one for me?

Tomos: *_sliently lights cig, gives to Ogrin_*

Ogrin: *_inhales_* Thanks kid, I needed that.

Tomos: o.0

_Back to our other group of dipshits..._

Brynn: There are pets in those caves! We need to help them!

Xandra: The barrier cast in front of this entrance is too strong. I can't teleport out or inflict any damage upon it. If I had some items to make a makeshift wand, I could probably free us all.

Hanso: Sounds like Hanso/Macgyver time. Waddaya need?

Brynn: Maybe the pets in the cave have some items. We'd need a torch. A stick, a piece of cloth and something to burn it with.

Hanso: You don't ask for much do you? Okay, I'll get your shit. Who's coming with?

Me: I am, I guess. I'm forced to narrate in any situation.

Hanso: So I'm going in alone? Brynn?

Brynn: *_shakes head*_ I don't trust you alone with me in a dark cave.

Hanso: Come on! Xandra? Wait, why am I asking Xandra? Ah, nevermind. I'll go alone.

Me: Take the cave to the right. Cave on the left has one room with nothing in it.

Hanso: Thanks. *_deep breath*_ If I don't make it out alive, I want you all to know-

Me: You will make it out alive.

Hanso: Way to ruin that moment Echo!

Brynn: Hanso...be careful.

Hanso: **Yeah, when has **_**that**_** ever happened?** _*goes into cave*_

_It's pitch black darkness._

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there?

_Silence._

Hanso: Okay then. Search the floor. *_searches floor, comes up with nothing*_ Aw damn. So that leaves_ one thing..._

_(Echo Note) This next joke is something I found while lurking on the TFR boards. I don't know who came up with this, but I'd like to just say that I don't own the following joke and I have no idea who came up with it. If you know who made this up, please tell me so I can give credit where credit's due. Thanks.  
_

Hanso: *_flails arms wildly_* (sings) I flail my arms up in the air sometimes, saying "Hel-lo my name is Han-so!"

_Nothing happens._

Hanso: Onto the next room.

_Again, nothing._

Hanso: How long is this going to be?

Me: You have _no _idea.

_Next room._

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there?

Voice: Oh, thank goodness, I thought-

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there?

Voice: (louder) Um, yes, I'm-

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there?

Voice: I thought I-

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there?

Voice: You're getting on my nerves-

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there?

Voice: Shut up.

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there?

Voice: How many times-

Hanso: Hello? Is anybody there? AND...(sings) Never gonna shut you up, never gonna quiet you down!

Voice: ...What?

Hanso: You just got Hanso-rolled!

Voice: Kill me now Echo.

Me: No can do Mike.

Mike: Damn.

_I won't bore you with the rest. Hanso finds a stick in one room, and a cloth from some guy in another._

Hanso: Hey Echo, how many tunnels must an ixi walk down?

Me: All of them, I think.

Hanso: But I don't have the oil yet!

Me: You must walk them down again.

Hanso: Fuck.

Brynn: Hanso! Did you-

Hanso: Can't talk. Going back into caves.

Brynn: But-

Hanso: Bye.

_A few tunnels later..._

Hanso: Hey Mike.

Mike: Oh no, not again!

Hanso: Chill man. Do you have any lamp oil on you?

Mike: Oh, yes, indeed I do. Do you want it?

Hanso: Yes please.

Mike: No more Hanso-rolling?

Hanso: I promise.

Mike: Here you go.

Hanso: *_takes oil*_ Thanks. And by the way... (sings) I flail my arms up in the air sometimes, saying "Hel-lo my name is Han-so!"

Mike: I don't think I want to be rescued now.

Hanso: Does flailing your arms wildly do _anything_?

Me: Nope.

Hanso: Oh well. Back through the caves.

_Back through the caves..._

Hanso: _*with torch_* At least I can see now. There are more caves than I thought. Uh...

_After getting lost who knows how many times..._

Hanso: OMG! Are you okay?

Kali: DO I LOOK OKAY? HELP ME!

Hanso: "ripple oddly" that's...left leg? Okay. "undulate". Right arm? Okay. "waver". Left arm... DAMMIT IT TOUCHED ME!

Kali: Now you have to start all over again!

_Many attempts later... Hanso has freed Kali and 3 other pets._

Brynn: Are there others?

Hanso: (out of breath) Uh...

Me: You forgot Mike.

Hanso: But Mike didn't want to be saved!

Me: Save him or die in these tunnels.

Hanso: ...Why do I always do everything?

_Moments later..._

Hanso: Hey Mike old buddy!

Mike: Purple goo, take me now.

Hanso: Shut up. *_frees Mike_* You're welcome.

Mike: *_grumbles_*

_Back in main room..._

Hanso: That's everyone.

Xandra: Good. Now for the wand I require a crystalline substance, a base for a handle and something to tie it all together.

Hanso: Alright people. I saved you guys, now give us what you got.

Brynn: *_sorting through objects_* Soup ladle, odd crystal, lens, fancy cane, pipe cleaners... Pipe cleaners?

Hanso: Just combine.

_Many tries later..._

Kali: We're free!

Me: Not quite yet. We have to redo this whole thing.

Prisoners: WHAT?

Hanso: You see, I didn't get the "Goo Whisperer" achievement so...

Prisoners: *_R+ swearing*_


	22. Chapter 21

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Ran out of plot characters. Here's Lillian Fairweather.

Lillian: Hello.

Me: So...

Lillian: Oh, before you continue, may I just say that while voyaging in Moltara, my father and I found what seems to be an undiscovered root. This root has unusual properties that are capable of curing even the most deadly of poisons, and if ground up into a powder will help repel some petpets like meepits or spyders, and though it seems incredible, there are few know in existance, so-

Me: Just...just stop there. I can't take anymore random knowledge. I have a plot with the Ogrin.

Ogrin: Indeed. I've always found it fascinating that, though night may fall, it is the _day _that breaks!

Me: ...Exactly what I mean.

Chapter 21

_We see the prisoners running as fast as they can away from the cave and the idiots that saved them._

Hanso: YOU'RE WELCOME, BITCHES!

Brynn: *_sigh_*

Hanso: Bet you're glad that I came along, aren't you? Brynn?

_Brynn is saved from an awkward thanks by an angry Xandra._

Xandra: You? It was _my_ magic that got us out!

Hanso: Well, why didn't your magic light the way through the tunnels for me? Why didn't your magic get rid of the goo? Why didn't your magic summon the items you needed? Before I came, you were waiting for those things to suck you dry!

Xandra: IF MY MAGIC DID ALL THAT, THERE WOULD BE NO PLOT STEP NOW WOULD THERE?

Me: She has a point. As annoying as that step was.

Hanso: You did give me the idea when you tried to zap me though. I'll give you that.

Xandra: YOU SON OF A- *_tries to punch him_*

Brynn: *_intervines_* Xandra, the last thing we need is a fight. Let's just get out of here.

_They climb up a steep cliff/hill thing._

Brynn: Hanso? Quick question. How did you get in there without those wraiths noticing you?

Hanso: I hitched a ride on Steve.

Brynn: …

_They reach the top._

Brynn: You should have tried to find the others with that book! I can take care of myself, we should be more worried about Brightvale!

Hanso:** Because everyone cares about Brightvale...**

Brynn: *_smiles_* But thanks anyways. My hero.

Hanso: *_blushes, turns away and whistles*_

Brynn: _*does this...pose. It looks like...what is that? She has one hand on her hip and her other arm is dangling to her knee...What __is__ that?*_

Xandra: Young...people...flirting...awkwardness...

Hanso: *_drops book*_ Oh right! The book!

Xandra: HOLY SHIT GIMME! *_takes book and rubs it against cheek_* (whispers) Don't worry, we will never be apart again.

Brynn and Hanso: o.0

Xandra: Uh...So, where's this thing you found Brynn?

Brynn: *_opens to page_* See? That was the picture I saw before. It looks a bit like the artefact Hanso stole. Maybe a spell to reverse..._everything_ is in there.

Xandra: I don't see any spells, just this map.

Hanso: Hey! I know that place!

Xandra: Of course you do...

Hanso: Hey! TNT and Echo need us to get there don't they? Are any of you good at reading maps?

Brynn and Xandra: *_shake heads*_

Hanso: So now I'm useful! Follow me!

Xandra: And possibly be led into a trap? No thanks!

Brynn: Xandra, this is our only lead. And we are really crappy with maps. How long will this journey be?

Hanso: Uh, well... This was an old lair for the thieves guild, but it's only ruins now. We needed to hide it well, so it's in the heart of a forest about 3 hours that way. *_points_*

Brynn: ...Damn this is gonna be a long montage.

Me: Oh hell yes!

_Walking montage #6_

Hanso: (whispering) Hey Brynn. On va parler en francais, d'accord? (We're going to talk in French, alright?)

Brynn: D'accord, mais pourquoi? (Okay, but why?)

Hanso: Je ne crois pas que Xandra- (I don't think that Xandra-)

Xandra: De qui tu parles? (Who are you talking about?)

Brynn: Xandra! Tu sais le francais? (Xandra! You know French?)

Xandra: Mais bien sur! (But of course!)

Hanso: Brynn! En espanol! (In Spanish!)

Xandra: Yo conozco el espanol tambien. (I know Spanish too.)

Hanso: Italiano?

Xandra: Si.

Brynn: Portugues?

Xandra: _*nods head*_

Hanso: Deutsch?

Xandra: Ja.

Me: Can we... go back to English now?

Shadow: _And_ it's a montage.

Hanso: Right. Wanna sing... How many roads must an ixi walk down?

Brynn: No.

Hanso: How 'bout we Hanso-roll some people?

Xandra: Fuck no.

Hanso: I flail my arms up in-

Xandra: NO!

Hanso: Fine. What do you want to sing Brynn?

Brynn: No pop music, that's for sure.

Me: Total agree.

Brynn: How about... The Smashing Pumpkins?

Hanso: Nah, not in the mood.

Brynn: Red Hot Chilli Peppers?

Hanso: *_shakes head*_

Brynn: … Oh! How about Green Day?

Hanso: Brynn, the Green Day craze ended _years_ ago.

Brynn: THEY'RE STILL A GOOD BAND!

Xandra: *_sigh_*

Brynn: … And what do _you_ want to sing Xandra?

Xandra: Sing.

Brynn: Yes, sing.

Xandra: Sing.

Brynn: ...You wanna sing sing?

Hanso: Isn't that a prison?

Xandra: No you jackass, I want to sing the song "Sing" by My Chemical Romance!

_Short silence._

Hanso and Me: (singing) I flail my arms up in the air sometimes, saying "Hel-lo my name is Han-so/E-cho!" I wanna steal your shit and live my life-

Xandra: *_frying pan whacks us both*_

Hanso and Me: *_unconscious_*

Brynn: That was...effective. But you seem to have forgotten that you JUST KNOCKED OUT THE ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS WHERE WE'RE GOING AND THE GIRL WHO'S WRITING THIS!

Xandra: But... how is this conversation being typed up?

Shadow: Echo installed a tape-recorder so she could type everything in case something like this happened.

Xandra: ...Damn, that girl thinks of everything.

Brynn: Can you type us somewhere else, Shadow?

Shadow: Um, I don't know how to type. Heh.

Xandra: So we're stuck here until they regain consciousness?

Brynn: Guess so.

Xandra: *_slams head against a tree*_

Armin: What's going on?

Shadow: Armin! Can you teach me how to type?

Armin: *_shakes head*_ Echo got frying panned?

Shadow: *_nods_*

Armin: *_sigh_* Okay, so here's how you type...

_2 hours later..._

Shadow: I think I get it. Let's see...

_Hanso and Echo got revived by... a spell Xandra cast._

Me: *_spits out dirt from my mouth_* EW! How long have I been out?

Armin: 2 hours.

Hanso: So, if Xandra hadn't blown a fuse, we could almost be there by now...

Everyone: *_slow head turn and glare at Xandra*_

Me: Ah, I've had my montage.

_They appear at the ruins._

Hanso: Thanks Echo! You were _really _helpful, unlike someone...

Xandra: *_getting angry*_

Brynn: *_grabs Xandra's arm_* Don't start!

Hanso: Hm. This place is a bit creepier than I remember... Ladies first?

Brynn and Xandra: *_glare_*

Hanso: Scared...

Brynn and Xandra: *_throw Hanso in first*_

Hanso: Heeeyyyyyy!

_Echo Note: Yes, Hanso and Brynn know many languages, they live in Brightvale for shit's sake!_


	23. Chapter 22

_Hey, it's Echo! Second update of the day because I will most likely not be online tomorrow. :(_

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Here's Sophie.

Sophie: Hey.

Me: So... You seem to have a lot of bad experiences with random people in the Haunted Woods.

Sophie: And?

Me: Mind telling us what?

Sophie: Uh... I stole a branch from the Brain Tree, he didn't like me for that...And I failed the Esophagor's quests 75 times in a row, he didn't like me for that...

Me: And you know about- Aw screw this, EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT JELLY WORLD!

Sophie: So true.

Chapter 22

_Now Hanso, Brynn and Xandra have entered the ruins to find, you guessed it, MORE WRAITHS! _

Brynn: *_grabs sword_* Again? RUN!

_They all run._

Brynn: You two find the artefact! I'll hold them off as long as I can!

Hanso: But Brynn, you'll get kil-

Xandra: No she won't, the plot doesn't work like that. I need your help finding the artefact!

Hanso: Really Xandra? You need _my_ help?

Xandra: Apparently so.

_They walk around until..._

Xandra: Here's a room!

Hanso: AHA!

_The artefact sits there in its shining glory, waiting for its true master to return._

Shadow: *_eyebrow raise*_

Me: I felt poetic for once. Let me have my moment.

Hanso: What have we here?

Xandra: **Hm. I wonder. What could it **_**possibly**_** be?**

Hanso: I was adding suspense!

Me: No you weren't.

Hanso: *_glares at me*_

Me: What? That was _not_ suspense.

Xandra: Let's just grab the artefact and get outta here.

Hanso: I suspect that this place is trapped!

Roxton: I agree.

Hanso: Roxton? What are you doing here?

Xandra: Oh shit. *_hides in shadows_*

Roxton: Well, my fellow Indianna Jones based character, I needed something to occupy my time, so-

Hanso: So you went into some random ruin?

Clara: Exactly.

Shadow: Hey Clara!

Clara: Hi Shadow!

Xandra: Can we leave now, I got the artefact already. *_holds it in hand*_

Hanso: Well, it was...nice seeing you all.

Clara: Can we leave him here? *_points to Roxton*_

Me: _*gives Clara her very own frying pan_* No, but you can have the next best thing. The option to inflict pain on him.

Clara: *_happy_*

_Hanso and Xandra leave and find Brynn._

Hanso: Brynn! *_hugs her_* Thank Fyora you're alright!

Brynn: I told you _how_ many times now that I can take care of myself? And let go of me!

Hanso: *_lets go*_

Xandra: We found the second artefact. I think the one Hanso stole was part of a whole. One caused this whole mess, the other one might be able to reverse it. It's a longshot, but what else can we do?

Brynn: We should find the others and show them what we found!

Me: And that means...

_Walking montage #7_

Brynn: (singing) Twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours to go! I wanna be sedated!

Me: (joining in) Nothing to do, nowhere to go! I wanna be sedated!

Xandra: (joining in) Just get me to the airport, and put me on a plane!

Hanso: (joining in) Hurry, hurry, hurry! Before I go insane!

Shadow: (joining in) I can't control my fingers! I can't control my brain!

Armin: (joining in) Oh no no no no no!

Brynn: So, we all like the same music?

Me: Of course! I'm the narrator, so you all automatically like the music that I like!

Hanso: Makes sense.

_And with that, they decide to make camp for the night._

Brynn: Shouldn't we be saving Brightvale?

Hanso: And finding our friends?

Me: I _refuse_ to believe that _all _the events in TFR happened in _one _day. You are making camp.

Xandra: But won't Brightvale collapse? Or explode?

Me: No, it won't.

Brynn: But-

Me: NO IT WON'T!

Hanso: What about our friends?

Me: Taking care of that.

_Meanwhile..._

Tomos: *_chokes on cigarette that the Ogrin gave him_* Damn! This is crazy! What _is_ this?

Ogrin: It's a jeffrey.

Tomos: … YOU GAVE ME A MOTHERFUCKING JEFFREY?

Ogrin: *_takes a puff_* Yeah, you think I'd give you a normal cigarette?

Tomos: *_gasping_* I think I'm having a heart-attack!

Ogrin: Stroke the fuzzy wall!

Tomos: *_strokes fuzzy wall_*

Nabile: *_enters_* I heard shouting- OH! A jeffrey! _*takes it and starts smoking_*

Jazan: *_enters_* Nabile? Everything okay?

Tomos: I'm having a heart-attack!

Jazan: *_chuckles_* When life hands you a jeffrey...

Tomos: You bastards! I'M FUCKING DYING! HELP!

Nabile: Alright fine.

_They take Tomos to the hospital in Brightvale._

_Meanwhile again, the other group has made a campfire and are using the sleeping bags that I gave them._

Hanso: *_takes out bag of marshmallows*_

Brynn: *_takes out graham crackers and chocolate_* Smores anyone?

Xandra: This is so summer camp.

Hanso: I think this calls for a campfire song!

Xandra: Oh fuck no!

Me: *_gives Hanso guitar and Brynn drums_* Alright, this is a song we all love: The Campfire Song Song!

Xandra: *_covers ears*_

Hanso: *_starts playing_* (singing) Lets gather round the campfire, and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. And if you don't think we can sing it faster than you're wrong.

Me: (singing) But it'll help if you just sing along!

Xandra: Over my dead body!

Brynn: *_starts playing_* (singing) C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song.

Hanso: And if you don't think we can sing it faster than you're wrong-

Xandra: *_takes guitar and drums and throw them into the air before destroying them with her magic*_

Hanso: Xandra!

Brynn: Not cool!

Xandra: Just go to sleep.

_Early the next morning..._

_Walking montage #8_

Xandra: Weren't we already in one?

Brynn: Hey Hanso?

Hanso: What?

Brynn: *_smiles_* What's the time?

Hanso: *_grins_* It's time to get ill!

Xandra: Oh man, what now?

Brynn: I said what's the time?

Hanso: It's time to get ill!

Brynn: I said what's the time?

Hanso: It's time to get ill!

Brynn: I said what's the time?

Hanso: It's time to get ill!

Brynn: I'm not the type of person to waste my time!

Hanso: When I'm out on mike, I just say my rhymes!

_Brynn and Hanso look expectantly at Xandra._

Xandra: …

Hanso: ...Wow Xandra, you just _killed_ that song.

Brynn: We need a third person.

Me: Oh! Can _I_ be the third?

Hanso: Yeah, but let's sing something else. Xandra totally ruined that song for me.

Xandra: *_confused_*

Me: OH! NO SLEEP TILL duh duh, duh duh duh, duh nuh, duh duh, duh duh duh duh-

Hanso, Brynn and Me: BROOKLYN!

_Hi, this is Shadow. I'm taking over the narration for now. Let's see how the others are doing._

Tomos: Crap! I'm never smoking again!

Nabile: At least you're alive.

Jazan: You were just panicking, not having a heart-attack! We wasted _how_ many neopoints on the diagnosis?

Nabile: The diagnosis was free. Getting him here on the other hand...

Tomos: I thought I was dying!

Jazan: But you weren't.

Tomos: But-

Jazan: YOU WEREN'T DYING!

_Meanwhile, much time later..._

Brynn: Because you can't.

Hanso: You don't.

Me: And you won't.

Brynn, Hanso and Me: STOP!

Brynn: Because you can't.

Hanso: You don't.

Me: And you won't.

Brynn, Hanso and Me: STOP!

Xandra: Stop it! You all have been singing that _one line_ for the past 3 hours!

Me: I thought it was only a 2 hour journey.

Brynn: And didn't we cover about twenty minutes before we set up camp?

Xandra: Your singing slowed us down! If we continued at that rate we were in, we would have reached the city somewhere around next Tuesday!

Me: But it's fun Xandra! Try it!

Brynn: Because you can't.

Hanso: You don't.

Xandra: ...And you won't.

Brynn and Hanso: STOP!

Brynn: Because you can't.

Hanso: You don't.

Xandra: And you won't.

Brynn, Hanso and Xandra: STOP!

Brynn: Because you can't.

Hanso: You don't.

Xandra: And you won't.

Brynn, Hanso and Xandra: STOP!

Me: My work here is done.

_7 hours later..._

Xandra: We're here! Where are the others?

Brynn: Did you hear that?

Hanso: What did it sound like?

Xandra: I didn't hear anything, you must be imagi-

_The second wraith fight in this chapter follows._

Hanso: I have a feeling that these guys don't like us much.

Brynn: The feeling is mutual.

_Super epic entrance with Tomos, Nabile, Jazan and the Ogrin._

Jazan: Back fiends! *_slashes sword*_

Hanso: Nice timing.

Ogrin: *_ninja kick_*

Me: I am _still _in awe of that kick.

Nabile: *_pulls out random machine gun from nowhere_* DON'T MESS WITH ME! *_war cry as she shoots the remaining wraiths*_

Everyone: o.0

Nabile: ...What?

Tomos: Where did you get that gun?

Me: She pulled it out of her ass. She's an ixi, remember?

Nabile: *_tries unsuccessfully to hide gun behind her back_* Gun? What gun?

Brynn: Thanks for the help guys, it's great to see you all again!

Nabile: So what happened in Brightvale?

Brynn: I found a book in the royal library that led us to another artefact. Xandra thinks that she can use it to reverse the spell, but...

Tomos: Brynn, now is not the time for dramatic pauses.

Brynn: Right, sorry. I think it's worse than Brightvale being surrounded. I think all of Neopia is in danger!


	24. Chapter 23

_Hey, it's Echo!_

_"Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena _  
_Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena _  
_Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena _  
_Heeeeey Macarena _  
_AAAHAA!"_

_Stuck in my head, in an endless loop, non-stop, ever since 9am. That should give you an idea of how my day was._

Pre-chapter Interview

Me: Here's Gilly.

Gilly: Hi.

Me: ...I'm growing bored of my own interviews.

Gilly: ...I don't know how to respond to that.

Me: Don't. Wanna play random multi-player shooting games online?

Gilly: Hell yes!

Me: Sweet. Tell me if you find any good ones.

oOo

Me: Hey, it's Echo. I'm giving up these interviews. They just aren't funny anymore and they're a pain in the ass to write. So, this will be the last time you see the underlined words "Pre-chapter Interview". Thanks for your understanding.

Shadow: Hey Echo?

Me: Yes?

Shadow: I've been thinking...I wanna write!

Me: ...What?

Shadow: You see, ever since I learned how to type, I've been making up these little stories. They're not very good but a few of them aren't bad, so-

Me: _*hugs her_* I've inspired creativity in someone!

Shadow: Um, yeah. Can I...Can you let go of me now?

Me: *_lets go_* Sorry, I was having a moment. So, you wanna help me write this parody...thing?

Shadow: You mean it?

Me: Hell yeah! C'mon, we got a new chapter to write!

Chapter 23

_Previously on The Desert's Ruin...or the Brightvale Plot..._

Brynn: I think all of Neopia is in danger!

_Total lack of reaction._

Brynn: ...Didn't you hear what I said?

Nabile: Yeah. But we all knew that anyways.

Tomos: **Was it the stoned royalty and faeries that gave it away?**

Jazan: Frankly, I'm surprised that Neopia hasn't descended into total destruction and panic.

Hanso: I'm surprised any of us are even still alive, taking into account how often we're attacked by shadow wraiths.

Brynn: Okay! Christ, you people are so mean!

Ogrin: I have sensed the aura of the earth around me-

Me: *_headdesk_* _More_ old people wisdom telling us things that we already know.

Ogrin: Everything around us seems to be dead or dying.

Nabile: Eh, let's just reverse the damn spell already.

Tomos: Xandra, got everything you need?

Xandra: Yeah, but can we move to a more open area so I can, um-

Me: Um?

Hanso: Um?

Brynn: Um?

Jazan: Um?

Xandra: Um...Stop interrupting me. I need to see more clearly.

Ogrin: I've always found seeing clearly overrated-

Me: *_mutters to self_* Stupid blind piece of shit.

Ogrin: I suggest we go to Brightvale plaza.

Me: You all know what that means!

Xandra: NO! NO MORE MONTAGES!

Me: Why the fuck not?

Xandra: I am sick and tired of these stupid and insignificant-

Me: Xandra. Don't piss me off. You _know_ what happens when you piss me off.

Xandra: *_scared_*

Me: Anyways, it's either a montage or one of those transitions from That 70's Show where you all jump up in the air in slow motion with a multicolored background.

Xandra: The second one, _please_!

Me: Fine. That means I got to get the green screen working, so just hang around and talk and shit. Shadow, narrate for me. *_leaves_*

_They all break up into small groups and start talking._

Xandra: Hey Hanso, can I talk to you?

Hanso: What? You _want_ to talk? To _me_? Are you _high_ or something?

Xandra: Shut up. No I'm not. Anyways, haven't you ever wondered why she never asks your opinion on these things?

Hanso: …

Me: *_setting up green screen_* **Yes Xandra, your lack of vagueness makes us all know exactly what you're talking about.**

Xandra: *_growls_* I meant Brynn.

Hanso: Oh! Wait...Huh?

Xandra: I mean, I can't stand you, but even I'll admit you have good ideas from time to time.

Hanso: ...I still don't get what you're aiming at.

Xandra: *_facepalm_* Brynn doesn't respect you, you know. She may like you, for some strange reason, but at the end of the day, you'll only be a thief in her eyes.

Hanso: You've got it all wrong! Brynn and I have a strictly professional relationship, that's it!

Xandra: Then explain this:

_Flashback to Chapter 21_

Brynn: *_smiling_* My hero.

_Flashback ends._

Hanso: Uh, that... she was...just grateful. That's it.

Xandra: Or this:

_Flashback to Chapter 18_

Brynn: *_dragging Hanso by his arm_*

Hanso: You're holding my hand Brynn!

_Flashback ends._

Hanso: Well...if you stayed with that flashback longer, you would have heard her say that she doesn't care.

Xandra: Hanso, the people who read this plot aren't that stupid to notice all these little moments.

Hanso: Everyone has moments!

Xandra: **Right**. Just remember what I said the next time she _tells_ you to do something instead of asking you what you think.

Me: Okay, I got the green screen working, now lets transition!

_That 70's Show transition where all the plot characters jump up and fall back down in slow motion. However, Jazan attempts a backflip, over rotates, and lands on his head. All this, I repeat, in slow motion._

Jazan: (on ground) Owww...

Nabile: Jazan! Are you okay?

Jazan: I'm feeling dizzy. *_shakes head violently*_

Nabile: Stop! That'll make it worse!

Xandra: *_observes her surroundings_* Hm. I think this will be a good spot.

Hanso: Well, if you're going to do this, you'd better do it quickly.

Xandra: Why?

Hanso: More shadow wraiths.

_Wraiths appear._

Jazan: (still dizzy) **Oh wonderful. **Seriously, can't we go one frickin' chapter without a wraith attack?

Me: *_filing nails like a bored receptionist_* Blame TNT for the lack of originality. Awesome plot as this was, it _did _have a lot of wraith fighting.

Ogrin: We haven't the time for this! The ritual must be performed!

Tomos: Or we're _all_ fucked.

Brynn: Do you guys mind holding off the creatures? Hanso and I will protect Xandra while she reverses the spell.

Hanso: ...We will?

Brynn: *_grabs Hanso's arm and drags him over to Xandra*_ We will.

Xandra: *_smirks at Hanso_* I need you two to hold this for me. *_holds out artefact*_

Brynn: We're supposed to be protecting you.

Xandra: The others are doing a fine job of that.

Hanso: Are you sure? Jazan looks awfully disoriented...

Jazan: *_trying to fight wraiths but misses_* Damn! *_falls over_* I'm okay!

Xandra: ...Anyways, the others that aren't Jazan are doing a fine job of that. I need both hands free to do the spell, so make yourselves useful.

Brynn: Fine. *_holds up artefact*_

Hanso: _*takes other side*_

Brynn: Hold it higher Hanso!

Hanso: Hey, this thing's heavier than it looks!

Brynn: _*eye roll*_

Hanso: *_angry_* **Oh, I'm sorry.** *_takes artefact and holds it over his head_* Is _this_ high enough for you? *_jumps on a pile of rubble_* Or _this_? *_turns to climb tree_* Or-

Brynn: Hanso. We get it. Stop acting like a three year-old.

Hanso: *_rejoins Brynn and Xandra_*

Xandra: Good, now whatever you do, don't move!

_Time passes, nothing happens._

Brynn: Aren't you, I don't know, SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THE RITUAL?

Xandra: Hey! I need to decipher the spells first!

Hanso: *_turns purple_*

Brynn: Hanso? _Hanso_! HANSO BREATHE GODAMMIT!

Hanso: *_gasps for air_*

Xandra: Why weren't you breathing?

Hanso: You *_gasp_* told us *_gasp_* not to move *_gasp_* whatever we did!

Xandra: *_foreheadbook_* I didn't mean stop breathing!

Brynn: So, what was this about spells?

Xandra: Oh yeah, this book has one million spells in it, and I only need about ten or so, so I need help deciphering.

Brynn: *_puts artefact on the ground_* Okay, we'll help.

Hanso: We will?

Brynn: *_glares_* Yes, we will.

Hanso: Why don't you ask my opinion on these things?

Brynn: What are you talking about?

Hanso: You know it's true! You always tell me what to do-

Xandra: Um, guys, you can have your group therapy/conflict resolution time later.

Brynn: Right. So how do we decipher spells?

Xandra: On the title page are seven symbols. You need to select the three correct symbols in the right order. All the spells with a white background are free, the ones with a light grey background are eliminated due to their colour/symbol combination, and all the ones with a dark grey background have been checked already. Easy enough, right?

Hanso: *_eye twich_*

Brynn: Okay, page 22387...

_Many attempts later..._

Xandra: You deciphered the spell!

Brynn: No shit.

Xandra: It looks like...no, this isn't the one I need.

Brynn: Fuck.

_Who knows how many failed attempts later..._

Xandra: You found it! The first spell!

Brynn and Hanso: *_hold up the artefact again*_

Xandra: Casting...

_An hour later..._

Hanso: How long does it take you to cast one spell?

Xandra: A variety of hours each.

Brynn: And you have to cast how many?

Xandra: Ten, give or take.

Hanso: *_eye twitch again*_

_Many hours later..._

Xandra: Spell one done!

Brynn: I'm so hungry.

Hanso: And tired.

Nabile: You're not the only ones!

Tomos: We've been fighting wraiths this entire time!

Jazan: I think I have a concussion!I haven't sat down in ages...

Me: Hey guys? The barrier's really weak.

Xandra: So now we get to reinforce the barrier!

Hanso: I call suppression!

Brynn: Fine, I'll do the containing. Xandra can stabilize-

Xandra: But I need to do the spells!

Brynn: You aren't doing anything right now, and besides, stabilization's easy!

Xandra: *_grumbles_*

Hanso: We're short one person.

Me: Shadow, you're needed.

Shadow: Why me?

Me: I narrate, Armin does random odd jobs, and you sit on your lazy ass either writing stories or wait to be called on as substitute narrator. Get out there.

Shadow: *_reluctantly leaves_*

Me: Alright, lets go!

_At Xandra's station..._

Xandra: Medium size, red tint, faded intensity. Wow, stabilization _is_ easy!

_At Brynn's station..._

Brynn: Everything's normal.

_At Shadow's station..._

Shadow: Where am I? *_sees purple orb_* No...I'M GUIDING?

Me: Only thing left.

Shadow: Uh, strong right leg, medium left leg, medium left arm, and strong right arm... Alright! *_falls_ _over_*

Me: You pushed it too far.

_At Hanso's station..._

Hanso: Protect me, protect Shadow...should I waste one of my precious shields on Xandra? Nah...

_Next round..._

Xandra: *_stunned_* Hanso! That was _not_ funny!

Hanso: *_laughs_*

Shadow: How long does it take me to get up?

Brynn: Oh shit, the upper right side dropped to yellow! What do I do? WHAT DO I DO?

Me: This is going to end badly.

_Many rounds later..._

Shadow: I'm almost there!

Xandra: We're doing it!

Brynn: We're gonna make it! We're gonna make it!

Hanso: I ran out of shields!

Everyone: …

_Error: Timeout exceeded._

Xandra: We lost...WE LOST!

Brynn: *_grinds teeth*_

Me: Barrier's still dropping, people.

Brynn: Let's try this again. But with new stations.

_Several failed attempts later..._

Shadow: Alright! The barrier's reinforced again!

Xandra: Now we look for the next spell!

Hanso and Brynn: ..._*R+ swearing*_

_Echo Note: Don't ask me where I get my ideas, because I don't know myself.  
_


	25. Chapter 24

_Hey, it's Echo. This is a short chapter, BUT it is also one of the more confusing ones. So please, no questions on this chapter, because I'll try to answer most questions you all may have in the next chapter. If your question isn't answered next chapter, than you can ask me. But not before then. Why? 'Cause I'm Echo. That's how I work._

Chapter 24

_So, after many days of casting spells and reinforcing the barrier, it all comes down to this..._

Xandra: Last chant.

Everyone: WOOHOO!

Xandra: _*mutters something under her breath*_

_The artefact explodes with an incredible force. Everyone is blown backwards and the wall around Brightvale is destroyed.  
_

Hanso: Ugh, my head... What? NO!

_Around him all the others are trying to get to their feet. Next to Xandra is a tall, fire covered monster. Wait...could it be? No, it can't be! It is! It's..._

Jazan: Father?

Razul: Hello Brightvale, prepare to meet your doom!

Nabile: Jazan? This guy's your _dad_?

Jazan: Not exactly the way I wanted you to meet the in-laws...I thought I killed him...

Razul: Long ago, I was imprisoned. Now, thanks to my foolish son, I have been freed!

Xandra: The kougra and ixi helped too.

Hanso: Xandra? _You _did all this?

Razul: Xandra? Is that your new name?

Xandra: Eh, I've been through four names before this one.

Razul: Hm, I like it!

Xandra: Aw, thanks honey!

Brynn: _Honey_?

Xandra: Of course! Razul is my husband!

Jazan: Wait... You're my _mom_? WHAT THE _FUCK _IS GOING ON?

Xandra: Nabile, I'll be wanting my dress back.

Nabile: This was _your_ dress? Ew... Wait, Jazan, how do you forget your own _mother_?

Jazan: Well, Nabile, it's called your mother abandons you at age three, your father orders all pictures of her to be destroyed, her name wasn't Xandra, she wasn't speckled, and _all_ this happened over 200 YEARS AGO!

Razul: And now I'm back, to take over Neopia with my wife by my side!

Tomos: *_acting on stupid impulse, throws his dagger at Razul*_

Razul: *_deflects it_* Pathetic!

Tomos: *_mutters_* Worth a shot.

Razul: *_sets random buildings on fire*_

Xandra: Razul, honey, we need a world to take over. It won't be possible if you burn it to the ground.

Razul: I need to show off my epicness!

Jazan: *_still dizzy from the transition and wraith fight, and in shock over Xandra being his mom_*

Me: ...Yeah, not much family resemblance other than the anger issues.

Jazan and Xandra: HEY! I DON'T HAVE ISSUES!

Me: Proof is right in front of me.

Xandra: *_tries to zap me, but her blast is deflected my the window that's part of my office. The blast hits the ends of Nabile's hair*_

Nabile: AH! MY HAIR!

Jazan: *_tries to lightning zap Razul, but is so damn weak and disoriented that his attack is useless*_

Razul: Foolish child, I should have killed you years ago!

Jazan: I think I beat you to the punch, daddy.

Me: DISSED!

Razul: You think that's funny? I'll show you funny! *_basically scorches Nabile*_

Jazan: No! Nabile!

Nabile: _*falls to the ground, not burnt, not dead, but unconscious and pretty damn hurt*_

Jazan: You will pay for that, Father! *_summons lightning*_

Razul: No! It _can't_ be!

_And, through the power of hate and revenge, Jazan kills his father for the second time in 200 years...Yes, that was a very weird sentence._

Jazan: *_crouches by Nabile_* Nabile...Are you okay?

Nabile: *_coughs_* Yeah... yeah, I think I'm oka-

Jazan: Nabile? _Nabile_!

_Nabile has turned to stone._

Jazan: *_turns around and faces Xandra_* You!

Xandra: *_super angry_* You will pay for killing my husband!

Me: Again.

Jazan: You! You turn her back to life this inst-

Xandra: *_turns Jazan to stone_*

Ogrin: How could yo-

Xandra: *_turns Ogrin into stone*_

Tomos: Whatever you do, don't talk-

Xandra: _*turns Tomos into stone*_

Hanso: You-

Brynn: *_clasps hand over Hanso's mouth_* Shhh!

Xandra: *_slowly turns and faces them. Think last panel in Chapter 13 of TFR, but instead of Faerieland falling, Brightvale is burning*_

Me: Oh dear...I said it before, anger issues.

_Echo Note: I repeat, no questions._


	26. Chapter 25

_It's an Echo update! Here I try to explain what may have not been clear in the last chapter. If you still have a question, please don't hesitate to review, PM or neomail me, and I will try to answer in the next chapter. Because you know what? I am officially out of typed up chapters. Which means, I'm afraid, that you will have to wait (yes, wait) for updates now. Sorry, my constant updating was my downfall. :(_

Chapter 25

Me: This is my attempt at re-writing a character's past.

Xandra: I see you two are the ones with any sense out of them. *_waves hand at statues*_

Brynn and Hanso: *_silence_*

Xandra: *_evil grin_* It's okay, you can talk now. I won't turn you into stone. Cross my heart.

Brynn and Hanso: *_still silent_*

Xandra: (annoyed) TALK!

Hanso: Okay!

Brynn: Why are you doing this? Why would you want to turn the world's royalty into stone? And the faeries?

Xandra: They were symbols, Brynn. Symbols have power, and getting rid of this symbol has been something Neopia has needed for a long time. _You_ get it don't you, Hanso?

Brynn: What the hell is she _talking_ about?

Hanso: *_holds hands up_* I don't know!

Me: Xandra, care to elaborate on that?

Xandra: With pleasure!

Hanso: *_mutters_* Great. A long, boring monologue.

Xandra: Over 200 years ago, I was Queen Alzena of Qasala. My husband, Razul, and I found it disgusting how the royalty in the other parts of Neopia did nothing for their kingdoms. Even our son, Jazan, seemed to be turning out like them. Razul and I had great ideas for the ruling of Neopia, but no one would listen. We turned to the faeries, and they just laughed.

Hanso: Maybe they weren't very good ideas then.

Brynn: *_frying pan whacks him_* Do you _want_ to get killed?

Xandra: Oh no, I have no intention of killing you. Yet.

Hanso: **Well **_**that's**_** a relief.**

Xandra: I had the plan of building an outer rule, a resistance, if you will, but these things take years, so we decided that I leave and Razul put our kingdom under a spell, to keep our people in the same condition they were before. However, we did _not_ plan on Jazan killing his father-

Brynn: Yeah, how does that work? Was the spell cast before he died?

Xandra: Yeah sure, whatever. So, I built up rumors of a resistance-

Hanso: This is getting _really_ World War II. You know, dictators and resistance, occupied Brightvale-

Xandra: Shut up! So, I went through four different identities, four lifetimes-

Brynn: And how does _that_ work?

Xandra: I would steal days, weeks, even years off of random people I would meet. It was a new form of magic that I created. I stayed young, as they grew older. I would paint myself a new colour after every name change, trying to seem new. Then, the faeries noticed my magical abilities, and let me study with them. I tried again to give my ideas to help Neopians, but there was no reasoning with those pathetic excuses for magical beings. And the royalty still did nothing! What have they ever done? Skarl stole from Darigan, Hagan sat on his fat ass, Kelpbeard kicked an orphan out of his kingdom because she predicted when natural disasters would occur...And then there's Fyora! She's the worst of them all! She should notice that faerie quests are useless neopoint sinks, that it takes years to amass enough money to get anything from the hidden tower, and that cloud that her city's on is so fucking laggy that it takes _so _damn long to get _anywhere_! And-

Brynn: Xandra! _Breathe_ for God's sake!

Xandra: I don't need to, 'cause I'm Xandra! Anyways, Neopia was supposed to be ruled the right way this time!

Hanso: "ruling Neopia the right way this time"? You..you were Jazan in disguise?

Xandra: Well, yeah. I needed some sort of ruse to get this back. *_holds out the original artefact*_

Brynn: The artefact!

Xandra: Framing my son was just a bonus. I didn't know that he would actually come here, and I also couldn't believe that all my hard planning was almost spoiled by a greedy, arrogant thief.

Hanso: Hey!

Me: You know you are.

Hanso: True...But if it was such an important, all-powerful artefact, why did you just leave it lying around for anyone to take?

Xandra: All-powerful? This piece of crap? Ha! I see why Brynn keeps you around. No, this is a trinket. True, I needed it for my plan. This artefact and it's sister amplify my magic, they aren't the sources of power themselves.

Hanso: Xandra. Answer my question. Why did you forget to take such a simple step in protecting your crap when your plan depended on it?

Xandra: *_deathglare and magic hands*_

Brynn: _*slaps Hanso*_ You idiot! Don't make her _angry_!

Hanso: Christ, are you _all_ on the same cycle or something?

Me: Hanso. When you are in immanent danger and all the people around you that aren't statues are girls, _don't_ make jokes about periods.

Hanso: Wait...I'm the last guy?

Shadow: Yeah. Me, Echo, Brynn, Xandra...all girls.

Brynn: And we're _all_ offended.

Hanso: But...But what about Armin?

Me: Armin is currently high, and under the impression that, he too, is a female.

Hanso: Wait...You let Armin get high on the job?

Me: No.

Hanso: Then why-

Me: I didn't allow him, it just happened.

Xandra: PAY ATTENTION TO ME! Now, I was just telling you about the artefacts, right?

Brynn: Correct.

Xandra: And now that I have both of them...*_puts artefacts together to make one very shiny one_* there is nothing and no-one that can stop me!

Shadow: _*eye roll*_ I hate these types of villains.

Xandra: So now, you have a choice. I've let you live this long because, well, you both seem to know what's good for you, unlike these people. *_motions to statues*_ Hanso, you're sly, clever, and a fairly resourceful thief. I can use those qulatilies.

Hanso: How?

Xandra: Well, if I'm ever stuck in a cave with purple goo monsters again, I'll know who to call.

Me: Who you gonna call?

Shadow: Ghostbusters!

Xandra: ...And Brynn, you puzzled out the location of the second artefact all by yourself. I'm impressed by your tenacity. You may lack vision, but you're not the mindless grunt I first took you for.

Brynn: **Oh gee, I feel so special.**

Xandra: I want to rule a world where people can find the power in themselves to get along, not stupid laws, not "words of the wise", and _definitely_ not faerie blessings. So, what do you say? Are you in?

Brynn: Fuck no!

Xandra: Eh, can't say I'm surprised. And what about you, Hanso?

Brynn: Of course he won't!

Hanso: Brynn! Shut your trap for more than _five seconds_! I can speak for myself!

Brynn: Hanso...Did you just talk back to me?

Hanso: Now you sound like my _mom_! You know, if I had one...

Xandra: Think about it, Hanso. *_puts hand on his shoulder*_ You'll be a hero! You'll reach a standard far above any you could have beneath the tyranny of the old leaders!

Hanso: Hm...A little recognition would be nice..._for once_.

Me: Bitterness. Nice touch.

Brynn: Hanso, no! You can't! You can be good...You are good! I can't fight her alone! I...I need you. We have to stop her! Please!

Hanso: Ha! You _need_ me? That's rich. You never needed me. What happened to "I can take care of myself"? Huh? There were times where you didn't trust me, you locked me in a _dungeon cell_ for Pete's sake! Now, if I join Xandra, maybe I can start over, make a new name for myself...because in this world, I'll always be only a thief to you.

Me: Strong words, man. Angst is some powerful shit.

Brynn: Hanso, no! I l-

Hanso: _*reaches for Xandra's hand_* Xandra, you've got yourself a deal!

Brynn: No...

Hanso: Anyways, you were saying?

Brynn: ...What?

Hanso: Before I joined Xandra, you were saying something.

Brynn: Uh...Damn, I don't remember!

Hanso: You "l-" something... You listen to HD radio?

Brynn: ...No.

Xandra: You left your heart in San Francisco?

Brynn: No, that's not it.

Hanso: You lied, you're really my sister and now I've got to delete some things from my computer?

Brynn: No. Wait, _what_?

Hanso: Uh...

Xandra: Oh! You literally think you switched eyes with Hanso?

Brynn: ...What?

Me: Care to elaborate?

Xandra: Um, well, Brynn is orange with blue eyes, and Hanso is blue with orange eyes. Coincidence?

Hanso: Hey! My eyes are not orange! They're more of an autumn gold, or amber, or-

Me: Old piss?

Xandra: Hell yeah! *_hi-fives me*_

Hanso: Hey!

Me: Sorry, I _had _to say that.

Brynn: OH! I remember now! Hanso, I love y-

Me: *_cough_* Brynn, really bad timing *_cough_*

Brynn: I love you...'re cooking abilities!

Xandra: ...What?

Brynn: Xandra, Hanso here make the _best_ pies in the known universe!

Hanso: Well, they are pretty good...

Brynn: The best! He sells them to the bakery in Neopia Central, they're all Brightvale fruit filled-

Xandra: Oh! You make _those_ pies?

Hanso: *_nods_*

Xandra: I _love_ those pies! Every Saturday, I buy five of them, one of each flavor, and I just cram myself full of pie and watch Neopian Hospital.

Brynn: …So, yeah. Now if I buy another of your pies, it'll be morally incorrect. _Morally incorrect_!

Hanso: Hm. I don't know Xandra, moral incorrectness...

Xandra: Hanso! Stay on my side, and I'll give you your own pie _factory_!

Hanso: Pie factory wins, Brynn.

Brynn: Shit!


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Me: This is my re-write of the most cliché chapter in the story.

Shadow: What about the ending?

Me: Nah, the ending was more predictable than cliché.

Shadow: Hm...You have a point.

Brynn: Hanso! How _could_ you?

Xandra: Because, Brynn, this is what happens when you mistreat your friends. They become your enemies!

Brynn: But it makes absolutely _no_ sense! You both hate each other, it's obvious that Xandra can't even keep us in line, let alone a whole world-

Hanso: That's why she needs my help.

Brynn: And what about _me_, huh? What's gonna happen to me if you join with her?

Xandra: I kill you. Duh.

Brynn: _*looks at Hanso* And__?_

Hanso: Well...

Xandra: You know what, she's got a point there. Why the hell would you join me?

Hanso: Did you _not_ read the paragraph of angst I said in the last chapter?

Xandra: Still... I don't think you're gonna join me! I think you're gonna double-cross me!

Hanso: *_facepalm_* **Thanks for ruining my plan, Brynn.**

Brynn: Oh! Wait...FUCK!

Xandra: So you were going to betray me! I _knew_ it!

Hanso: Yeah, so I'll just go to part two of my plan.

Xandra: Part two?

Hanso: This. *_takes an artefact and shoves Xandra*_

Brynn: **Brilliant idea.**

Hanso: Well, why didn't _you_ think of it?

Brynn: Hanso, my area of expertise is around well thought out plans, not spur-of-the-moment crap.

Xandra: *_shaking head on the ground_*

Hanso: Brynn! *_throws artefact at her_* Destroy it!

Brynn: *_just stands there_* Huh? *_artefact stops in midair in front of her face and gets pulled in the other direction*_ Hanso! She's taking it back!

Hanso: *_jumps up and catches it_* Where do you think you're going?

Me: **And it's totally gonna answer, right?**

Hanso: *_flips me off*_

Me: You just made a _very_ bad decision, buddy.

Hanso: Oh shit...

Me: Now...

Xandra: _*jumps up and throws a magic blast at Hanso_* Ib tel sim!

Hanso: *_blocks it with the artefact_* Oh come on Echo! I haven't slept in _days_!

Brynn: Uh, what do I do?

Hanso: Run?

Brynn: *_jogs away*_

Me: You're not getting away _that_ easily, Brynn.

Brynn: Oh crap, what now?

Oblivion: *_appears out of a split in the ground with purple flames all around him*_

Brynn: *_sigh_* Another fight? Running out of ideas, Echo?

Me: Hey, TNT were the people who put that in. And besides, inspiration is like a giant frying pan. Some days it hits you on the back of the head, others not so much.

Brynn: *_takes out sword_* Great comparison. *_starts fighting Oblivion*_

Me: I know it is.

Xandra: *_still trying to kill Hanso_* Tion cep in!

Hanso: *_blocks it_* Wait wait wait...Tion cep in? ..._Inception_?

Xandra: *_blushing_* No...

Hanso: Christ, Xandra, something tells me you didn't study with the faeries long enough.

Xandra: _*getting really angry_* Ek to na! *_another spell*_

Hanso: _*blocks again_* You smell funny!

Me: *_facepalm_*

Brynn: Okay, Oblivion has fire on the left side of his name, and air on the right side...Uh, let's try air?

_Stop healing him you cowards!_

Brynn: Shit, that's _not_ what I wanted to do...

_The next day..._

Hanso: Hey Xandra, do you get all your clothes from the Money Tree, or just that rag?

Xandra: Hey! My fashion sense is _undeniable_! Yim fa ras!

Brynn: Shit! The icons changed _again_! Darkness...I only have night vision as an ability, and this sword as a weapon.

Me: You're screwed.

_5 days later..._

Hanso: *_trying to stay awake_* Didn't...didn't your mother...teach you that it's rude to...to vaporise people?

Xandra: *_also trying to stay awake_* Jep ip lor...

Hanso: Wow Xandra, I've been using the _same_ insults for six days...how sensitive _are_ you?

Xandra: Qui tok maz!

Hanso: Hey Xandra, yo momma's so ugly, she made an _onion_ cry!

Me: DISSED!

Xandra: *_super angry_* Seriously Hanso? "Yo momma" jokes? Til ik sem!

_Meanwhile, Brynn and Oblivion are so tired, they have resorted to lightly slapping each other._

Brynn: *_slaps_* Echo, _why_ have we been doing this for so long?

Me: This is how long the step lasted.

Brynn: Can we have a break? I mean, first it was the two or three days with the spell casting, and now six more with the insulting step...

Me: *_sigh_* Fine. You all get a day off for a break.

Hanso: _*throws artefact to the side_* Thank Fyora! _*drops to the ground and goes to sleep*_

Brynn, Xandra and Oblivion: *_same_*

Me: *_shakes head*_ Sometimes I think I'm a little _too_ nice.

Shadow: Well, if all the characters died from exhaustion, there would be no story would there?

Me: Good point.


	28. Chapter 27

_Hey, it's Echo. Just warning you all that I'm leaving this coming weekend and that I won't be back until March. Also, as I'm not bringing my computer with me (stupid heavy piece of shit), I can't write any new chapters while I'm gone. I still have this week though, and I will try to get as far as I can!_

Chapter 27

Me: *_puts in earplugs_* Time to wake up! *_blasts air horn*_

Hanso: *_jumps up_* Jesus Christ!

Brynn: **Yeah, give me a heart-attack, why not?**

Xandra: _*still in a dream induced state*_ I didn't kill you! Oh wait...yeah I did. *_shakes head_* What the hell was that?

Armin: I'd like to know the same thing.

Me: Armin! *_frying pan whacks him*_

Armin: OW! What the fuck was _that_ for?

Me: For getting high and _remaining_ high for a week!

Armin: Oh right, that. Well, about that...

Me: Nevermind, just do your jobs.

Shadow: I can't hear in one ear! HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT! I CAN'T HEAR! I CAN'T FRICKIN' HEAR!

Me: ..._Maybe_ this wasn't the best way to start this chapter.

_Some time later..._

Me: Okay, have we all calmed down?

Everyone: *_nods_*

Me: And Shadow, you can hear again?

Shadow: Yeah.

Me: Alright, let's get this chapter movin'!

Brynn: *_running_* Hanso! What are you doing?

Hanso: Keep running! I have a plan..._*whispers_* and you aren't going to like it.

Brynn: *_stops_* What? I didn't catch that last part.

Hanso: I said, *_screams_* YOU AREN'T GOING TO LIKE IT!

Brynn: Oh. Wait, what are you-

Xandra: *_smashes boulder with her magic_* Hanso! Give me the artefact!

Hanso: Uh, no.

Xandra: You know what needs to be done! You gave up a _pie factory_ for fuck's sake!

Hanso: Yeah, well, there wouldn't be any place to put it one Neopia destroys itself under your rule. Besides, did you really think that I'd double-cross Brynn? *_winks at Brynn_*

Brynn: *_blushes_*

Me: *_groans_*

Shadow: Don't like romance scenes, huh Echo?

Me: Nah, they're all the same sappy crap with different people.

Shadow: I dunno, I kinda like them.

Me: ...Hey Shadow, wanna write all future romantic scenes?

Shadow: Uh, sure.

Me: Good. But this one's over now, so...

Hanso: I've just come to a stunning realisation.

Xandra: E=MC squared?

Hanso: No...

Brynn: The answer to the Great question of Life, the Universe and Everything is 42, but we're all unaware of what the question is?

Hanso: No...

Me: Inspiration is like a giant frying-

Hanso: NO! I came to the realisation that Xandra's completely out of her mind!

Brynn: How is that a realisation?

Me: It isn't.

Xandra: Well, believe what you wanna. Oblivion!

Oblivion: *_appears out of the ground again*_

Xandra: Deal with the kougra!

Me: Your mouth looks _crazy_ big in this panel.

Brynn: *_takes out sword*_ Wait...weren't we just doing this for the past six days?

Me: Yeah, this is TNT's "past six days events in a two minute maximum time space" thing.

Brynn: *_KLASHes her sword against Oblivion*_

Xandra: Well Hanso? *_magic hands*_ Are you going to just let her _die_?

Hanso: *_blocks magic_* She can take care of herself. That's all she's been telling me for the past who-knows-how-long. And it looks like I'm not doing too bad either. Are you _sure_ you're an expert magician?

Oblivion: GROAARRR!

Brynn: *_war cry*_

Hanso: *_blocks another magic blast_* Maybe you should find your glasses before you try hitting anything else with your fancy magic, Xandra!

Xandra: But...I look _so_ much younger without them!

Hanso: *_eyebrow raise_*

Xandra: Enough! You _will_ die! You _will_ die and go to hell! And Neopia will be better off under my rule!

Hanso: *_mutters_* I hope this works. *_normally_* Maybe you're right about the royalty and faeries, but you've gone _way_ too far. Someone has to stop you.

Xandra: Please! What are _you_ gonna do about anything? You're useless! You can't do anything right! *_laughs_* And you think that _you_ can stop _me_? You? A mere thief? _*laughs again_*

Hanso: _*takes out his dagger*_

Brynn: Wait...didn't I take that away?

Hanso: I stole it back when we were camping. You didn't notice. Anyways...here's Hanso's final stupid act. _*stabs artefact*_

_KRAKOOM!_

Me: "krakoom"? TNT, _where_ do you get these sound effect ideas from?

Xandra: I'LL KILL YOU HANSO!

Hanso: AH! *_cower_*

Brynn: *_prepares to stab Oblivion, but he turns into a puff of purple smoke, or ashes, or whatever it is*_

_The sun comes out and the wraiths disappear._

Brynn: *_squints_* Hanso, you did it!

Me: Brynn...do us _all_ a favor and _never_ squint again.

Brynn: Why?

Me: It makes people think you look like a guy.

Brynn: Ha! People thought I was a _guy_?

Me: It surprised me too. I mean, there was the long hair, your tunic looks like a dress in some ways, oh, and in chapter one Hanso says "what is she doing here?" Who did people think the she was? _Altador_? One of the Altadorian _guards_? Or the kougra who looked the most like a girl out of all of them? I mean, _come on_!

Brynn: Funny how Hanso didn't jump in with some stupid comment. Hanso?

_In the middle of Brightvale plaza, frozen in time, are Xandra and Hanso. They are stone. Let us all have a moment of silence._

_2 seconds later..._

Me: *_laughing so hard at their facial expressions*_

Shadow: Well, _that_ didn't last long.

Brynn: No... Wait, the chapter ends _here_?

Me: *_calming down_* By TNT's standards.

Brynn: And by yours?

Me: I think that we need to see the five stages of grief in order, rather than skipping from shock to sadness.

Armin: *_opens a can of soda_* Makes sense.

Me: You on break?

Armin: Yeah. For the moment.

Me: This is Brynn in the first three stages of grief.

_1st stage: Shock_

Brynn: How...How did this happen? How can this be?

Me: First stage doesn't last very long before...

_2nd stage: Denial_

Brynn: It can't be! It isn't true! I'll just close my eyes and he'll be there, just fine..._*closes eyes*_ One...two...three! *_opens eyes_*

Hanso statue: *_still stone*_

Brynn: ...Maybe on the count of five.

_Several counts later comes the 3rd stage: Anger_

Brynn: NO! *_turns to Xandra statue_* YOU BITCH! I HATE YOU FOR THIS! ALL MY FRIENDS AND MY POSSIBLE FATHER AND OTHER PEOPLE I DON'T REALLY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT NOW ARE STONE, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE YOU HAD SOME GAY LITTLE PLAN!

Me: WOAH! Brynn... did you just call something gay? In the context that you hate?

Brynn: I DON'T CARE! I'M BEYOND FUCKING CARING! *_long continuous bleep follows*_

Me: ...I think this is a good place for this chapter to stop.

Shadow and Armin: Agreed.


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

_4th stage of grief: Sadness_

Brynn: *_reaches out and strokes Hanso's cheek_* Oh Hanso...*_starts crying_* What have you done?

Me: Need atmospheric music...Here we go! *_starts playing "The Messenger" by Linkin Park*_

Shadow: ...Why that song.

Me: It just fits, Shadow. The lyrics, the tune, the sad feeling, it just _fits _here.

Shadow: *_listens_* Yeah, I guess it does.

Brynn: *_leans towards Hanso's statue*_

Me: Brynn! Don't kiss the statue for God's sake!

Brynn: Why not?

Random Brynnso fangirl: Brynn, your first kiss with Hanso has to be when he's not stone so that he can kiss you back and OMG BRYNNSO FOREVER!

Me: *_facepalm_* Armin...

Armin: *_sighs and picks up his frying pan*_ On it.

Me: Well, Brynn, I was going to say that kissing a statue is just plain creepy. And it looks like that Weewoo just crapped on him.

Brynn: *_jumps away*_ EW! Oh right, I'm sad.

_Music continues playing, Brynn keeps crying._

Shadow: How long does this last?

Me: This isn't a long song, it's done in ten seconds.

Shadow: Ok.

_10 seconds later..._

Tomos: _*suddenly unstoned_* Don't talk!

Jazan: *_same_* This instant!

Nabile: *_same_* I'm okay...

Ogrin: *_same_* Could you?

Me: Guys...

Jazan: Wait...what happened?

Me: Ask Brynn.

Ogrin: The aura around me feels clearer, happier!

Tomos: The sun's out!

Nabile: *_whispers_* Pain... I'm in _pain_...

Jazan: Oh shit! Nabile!

Me: ...Guys? Find Brynn?

Ogrin: She is very weak and needs much rest.

Tomos: Nabile, are you feeling okay?

Nabile: Not...really.

Me: Fucking idiots. Shadow, cover you ears. _*puts in earplugs and blows air horn*_

_Sometime later..._

Tomos: Brynn? Where are you?

Jazan: *_carrying Nabile_* There!

Ogrin: Where?

Jazan: There!

Tomos: Where?

Nabile: *_points shakily_* There.

Tomos: Oh.

Jazan: I can't really point when I'm carrying someone around... Hey wait! My robes are white again! And my eyes aren't glowing red! The curse is gone! YEAH!

Nabile: Jazan, if you want to celebrate, please put me down.

Jazan: Sorry. *_puts Nabile down gently_* WOOHOO! *_dances_* IT'S GONE! IT'S _GONE_! THE GODDAM CURSE IS GONE! YEAH!

Tomos: Jazan, is this _really _necessary?

Nabile: Tomos, he's been cursed for 200 years, let him have his moment.

_15 minutes later..._

Jazan: *_points_* There!

_They see a very sad Brynn in a clearing with stoned Hanso and Xandra._

Ogrin: I sense sadness.

Me: *_facepalm_* Yeah, did you _not_ just hear my voice over?

Jazan: *_laughs_* Look at the expressions on the statues! XD

Me: Bad timing Jazan.

Jazan: Right. Sorry.

Tomos: Brynn...what happened here?

Fyora: *_appears out of fucking nowhere*_ That's what I would like to know as well.

Me: HOLY SHIT IT'S FYORA!

Fyora: ...Yeah.

Everyone except Fyora: *_bows_*

Me: Ah, look at that. Royalty bowing to other royalty. What does _that _tell people?

Shadow: Fyora kicks all other people's asses?

Jazan: Your majesty, it is good to see that you are well.

Fyora: Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Who freed me?

Tomos: I think Brynn can answer that...you know, once she's stopped angsting.

Brynn: *_punching the ground, then throws dirt at Xandra's statue, then squeezes the shit out of the stress release ball I gave her*_

Tomos: ...Done yet?

Brynn: Yeah. Okay, so this is what happened...

_One summary later..._

Brynn: And then they both...turned to stone! *_bursts into tears*_

Shadow: Christ, _how _long does this stage go on for?

Me: Sadness is by far _the _longest stage to go through.

Fyora: *_sigh_* Oh Xandra, I feared this day would come.

Nabile: Fyora, you look, like, 300 years younger!

Fyora: Yes, being stoned for a while does that to you.

Me: Funny, it didn't work on Armin.

_Drum beat and laugh track._

Armin: *_takes out bag of coke*_

Me: Gimme that. *_takes it away_* Bad Armin!_ *takes out frying pan*_

Armin: *_cowers and hides*_

Fyora: ...Yeah, so the best of us can go astray at times.

Brynn: And sometimes a thief can do the right thing at times.

Nabile: Yeah.

Tomos: We know.

Brynn: Hanso sacrificed himself to save Xandra.

Nabile: And _I _got married to save a useless city that I don't care about.

Jazan: And?

Nabile: And for love.

Jazan: I know. *_smiles_*

Brynn: Back to my sadness...He destroyed the artefact and reversed the spell, and now he's gone...

Fyora: Then I owe him a debt of gratitude. I am weakened, but perhaps I have enough strength to free him from this form. Also, Brynn, it would be nice for you to shut up about how sad you are.

Brynn: …

_5th stage of grief: Acceptance, is not needed._

Fyora: Alright, lets see what I can do. *_stretches out fingers and places her hand on Hanso's head. Bright light follows*_

People on the TFR neoboards: -This ending was so predictable!

-Hanso should have stayed stone!

-Can't evil win for ten minutes?

-I thought the Darkest Faerie had something to do with this...

-I don't like the ending! This plot should be longer! (among many other things)

Me: And since I agree with most to all of these complaints...

Shadow: Oh fuck, brace yourselves!

Me: I'm rewriting the ending too!

Armin: Really? You combined two plots and parodied them, why do you want to write an alternate ending too?

Me: 'Cause I'm Echo.

Shadow: But that makes no- Wait, _what _am I saying? That makes _perfect _sense!

Fyora: *_in the process of freeing Hanso_* Almost done-

_ZAP!_

Fyora: *_falls over...and no, she's not dead*_

_Behind her, in her evil glowing glory is the Darkest Faerie! MWAHAHAHAH!_

Hanso: *_half stone, half not_* Gyyahahaaaaaaa! What did I miss? HOLY CRAP IT'S THE DARKEST FAERIE!

TDF: Thank you for the introduction. Now... *_places her hand on Xandra*_

Xandra: *_unstoned_* I'LL KILL YOU- what happened?

TDF: You got stoned.

Xandra: Oh. Well, thanks for freeing me Mom!

Tomos: _Mom_?

Jazan: The Darkest Faerie is my _grandmother_?

Nabile: I'm related to them by _marriage_?

Shadow: *_shakes head_* _Where _do you get these ideas from, Echo?

Me: No idea. Just accept it.

Jazan: *_disturbed out of his mind*_

TDF: And now... *_crashes faerieland into the ground*_

Xandra: Wow, why didn't _I _think of that?

Tomos: Run!

Me: Best idea I've heard all chapter.

_And so they all run away from Xandra and TDF, Brynn helping Hanso along, Jazan carrying Nabile (who is still injured), and Tomos and the Ogrin carrying Fyora's unconscious form. They keep running until they reach the edge of the continent, because the wall was broken down in chapter 24, remember?_

Brynn: *_panting_* I think...I think we lost them.

_Imagination time #2: Hanso's appearance. Most of him is back to normal, but the arm that was shielding his face is stoned in place, a part of his forehead and one ear is stone, the back of his neck is stone. Maybe other parts of him are stone too._

Me: Shadow, romantic scene. I need you.

Shadow: *_takes my place_* Alright.

Brynn: Hanso, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. You risked your life to save us all, and I can't believe I only thought of you as a thief before. What I'm trying to say is, well, I...I love you. I really do. *_jumps on him and kisses him on the cheek.*_

Me: **Yeah, Brynn, don't seem desperate, just _throw _yourself at him.**

Brynn: _*hugging Hanso_* Shut up.

Nabile: And a kiss on the _cheek_? You kept the fangirls waiting for _that_?

Brynn: Hey, at least our plot got a kiss. Have you and Jazan even gotten to first base yet? And you're _married_!

Nabile: *_blushing angrily_* Of course we have! See? *_starts to make out with Jazan*_

Brynn: *_eye roll*_

Hanso: This is...probably the worst time to ask this, but ...*_looks at Brynn*_ Who _are_ you?

_Deadly silence._

Brynn: *_lets go_* You don't...remember me?

Hanso: *_tries to shake his head, but can't because the back of his neck is stone_* No.

Brynn: *_slumps against tree*_

Me: Fuck, the 5 stages of grief all over again.

_And so, Faerieland has fallen, Xandra and TDF are taking over, and the only people who can save Neopia are a heartbroken kougra, a half-stoned ixi, a half-dead ixi, a kyrii who lost his guyliner, a 14 year old, the Ogrin and a passed out faerie queen. How will they do it?_

Shadow: Yeah, how will they do it?

Me: ...I didn't really think this through, did I? But the TFR ending was rushed and LDP had no real ending, so how could I resist?

Armin: Wait...do you hear that?

Me: Yeah I do. OH SHIT!

Armin: What is it?

Me: It's...It's...

Shadow: ANGRY BRYNNSO FANGIRLS!

Fangirls: *_barge in_* HOW COULD YOU?

Armin: *_gets the frying pans_* Hold them off!

Shadow and Me: *_take out as many fangirls as we can_*

Armin: I got to the weapons! *_throws me a chainsaw and Shadow a rocket grenade launcher and takes an electric cattle prod for himself*_

Me: *_fires up chainsaw_* Back!

Fangirls: *_retreat slowly into the cage in the back of my office*_

Me: *_locks them in_* That should hold them.

Shadow: What about the ones we knocked out with the frying pans?

Me: ...I know! We draw on their faces with permanent markers! *_takes random fangirl and draws a mustache and unibrow on her*_

Shadow and Armin: *_shrug and follow suit*_

_Echo Note: ...Yeah, so the story's not finished yet. Sorry, I couldn't resist!  
_


	30. Chapter 29

_Hey, it's my last update before I leave! Enjoy it!_

Chapter 29

Me: Jesus Christ! Almost 30 chapters! This calls for a celebration!

Shadow: Echo, we kinda have an alternate ending to write.

Me: Aw, you're no fun anymore.

Shadow: You can have your celebration on chapter 30, alright?

Me: *_grumbles_*

_Back to my other idiots..._

Brynn: How...how can you not remember me?

Hanso: Um, I look at you and nothing registers.

Ogrin: It would appear that when Fyora attempted to bring Hanso back to life, when she was attacked by the Darkest Faerie, she left the unstoning process unfinished. Am I correct?

Tomos: Dammit, man, you're putting me to sleep!

Ogrin: I'll take that as a yes. Am I also correct to assume that a part of Hanso's head is still stone?

Tomos: ...Yeah.

Ogrin: Well, it would appear that a part of Hanso's brain, namely the part of which harnesses his memories of Brynn, is still stone, and therefore inaccessible.

Tomos: ...In English please.

Me: Hanso can't remember Brynn because that part of his brain is still stoned.

Hanso: Wait, wouldn't that kill me? I mean with the blood flow through my brain, wouldn't this give me some sort of aneurysm?

Me: Probably.

Hanso: Then why-

Me: *_annoyed_* Hanso, since when has _anything_ in this story made _any_ sense? Almost _none_ of it is believable, like how you got stoned in the first place, or the fact that you're a talking blue goat that wears clothes! And you're questioning _me_ on why you're not dying of an _aneurysm_? The fuck is wrong with you?

Shadow: Oh shit, Echo's angry. *_approaches me slowly_* Calm down, Echo. Go to your corner, and I'll bring you your knife...

Me: *_goes to my corner_*

Shadow: *_takes out my anger management knife*_

Armin: Shadow, is it a good idea to give an angry Echo a knife?

Shadow: Oh, she just sits in the corner and carves her name into the wall. She does that until she calms down.

Armin: She hasn't hurt anyone?

Shadow: Not yet, and she's been doing this for a few years now, so I doubt it would happen. Just don't talk to her unless she talks to you. *_gives me my knife_*

Me: *_deepens the "E" carving in the wall_* First my celebration... I don't need to take that ixi's crap! Some people... *_goes into a rant that is both disturbing and would cause most seven year olds to start throwing big, pointy rocks at each other_*

Shadow: Which is what this is for. *_pulls across a soundproof glass panel*_

_Which means that now, I (Shadow) have to narrate._

Brynn: *_slowly and quietly losing her mind*_

Jazan: So...what now?

Nabile: We need help...for me and Fyora.

Jazan: Fyora! Fuck, I forgot about her!

Fyora: *_still unconscious*_

Ogrin: It would appear that she is in a magic induced coma.

Jazan: So...we're fucked, that's what you're saying?

Nightsteed: *_randomly appears_* I think so.

Jazan: Nightsteed! Buddy! Where've you _been_?

Nightsteed: I've been taking classes to deal with my "self narration" problem. Anyways, Fyora carries around a pack of emergency supplies with her, so you could probably use those.

Jazan: For what?

_Suddenly, over by the border of the newly-crashed Faerieland and the Haunted woods, a castle rises up into the sky (think a small Darigan Citadel on Jhudora's Cloud...or what was Jhudora's cloud at least)_

TDF's voice: *_in a sort of intercom style, because it's heard around the world_* Hello Neopians. This is the Darkest Faerie speaking. I have crashed Faerieland and will be taking over shortly. Your Queen Fyora is out of my way and all other faerie's powers are now useless compared to mine. If you welcome me as your queen, I will be merciful. All others shall be punished. All resistances should be brought to my attention, and when they are, they will be gone as quickly as you can say "Jubjub".

Hanso: Ha! Jubjub!

Jazan: **Well, he may not remember Brynn, but his sense of humor is still intact.**

Hanso: You know what Jazan? You can suck it.

Nightsteed: Guys? The supplies?

Jazan: How do you know about them anyways?

Nightsteed: *_shrugs_* Who knows?

Tomos: *_picks up a small bag_* I think this might be it!

Jazan: That's just stupid, how could _anything_ useful _possibly_ fit-

Tomos: *_reaches his whole arm into the bag and starts pulling out objects*_

Jazan: …

Tomos: Huh, so we have two trackers, some rope, some sort of weapon, a teleportation device labeled "single use" and a ring...The Ring of the Lost! It transports the wearer home!

Hanso: Great. So we have useful items, more or less, now all we need is a plan!

Nabile: Alright people, lets see what we can come up with.

_10 minutes later..._

Jazan: Anyone have a plan yet?

Everyone: *_shakes head*_

Hanso: (sings to the tune "Fuck you" by Cee-Lo...or "Forget you", if you're one of those censor freaks) I see we're sittin' around without a plan, and I'm like, "we're screwed!" I guess stabbin' the artefact wasn't enough, 'cause I'm like "we're screwed!" and you're screwed too.

Me: *_done with my angry time_* (sings) Now Hanso is stoning, and Nabile is groaning. Now ain't that some shit?

Tomos: *_interrupts the song_* I have a plan!

Nabile: Tomos, be quiet and let the adults talk.

Tomos: But-

Nabile: No buts.

Tomos: But I-

Jazan: SHUT UP YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Tomos: Echo...

Me: *_hands him air horn and earplugs_* You know what to do.

Tomos: Thanks. *_puts in ear plugs and blows air horn*_

Everyone: *_jumps and screams*_

Tomos: PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

Nabile: *_sigh_* Fine, Tomos, what's your plan?

Tomos: So, the main things we need to do are revive Fyora, unstone Hanso, and defeat the Darkest Faerie and Xandra, right?

Jazan: Yeah. And?

Tomos: So, we'll need some sort of potion or elixir to revive Fyora. Who can make that potion?

Nabile: Me. I could make it when I recover. But where will I get the ingredients or a lab to make it it?

Jazan: In Qasala! I could take you back home, and I could rebuild my city while you regain you strength.

Tomos: And I could come too. Someone would have to look after Nabile while you tend to your kingly duties.

Jazan: *_suspicious glare_*

Tomos: Now, when we revive Fyora, she could unstone Hanso, or maybe Nabile could make a potion for that too. The Ring of the Lost could take us to the desert, and we bring one of the trackers with us. Now, we'll need a few people to go over to the border where the castle is. We can use the tracker to find them once we've got the potions and build up an army of willing citizens.

Jazan: Wait, you want me to ask my citizens if they want to risk their lives for some stupid plan you have?

Tomos: *_annoyed_* No, Jazan, I want you to ask your citizens if they want to risk their lives for the good of Neopia!

Jazan: *_glare_*

Me: Random rivalry. I wonder why...

Tomos: And the others can look after Fyora. So who wants to go find the castle?

Brynn and Hanso: I will. *_look at each other in surprise*_

Tomos: Alright, then the Ogrin and Nightsteed will look after Fyora.

Nightsteed: Alright fine.

Tomos: Someone repeat back my plan to me so I can be sure everyone here gets it.

Hanso: Jazan takes you and Nabile to Qasala so you can build up an army and create a potion, the Ogrin and Nightsteed make sure nothing bad happens to Fyora, while me and...what's your name again?

Brynn: Brynn!

Hanso: While me and Brynn take the other tracker and set up a camp outside the castle to help provide an entrance.

Tomos: Basically yes, and when we get our army, we can use the teleporter to get us to your location, providing that you don't lose the tracker and we get the wrong coordinates.

Me: This is a weird plan...

Shadow: "It doesn't make any sense" weird or "strange things will happen" weird?

Me: Kinda both. It's more of an outline of a plan rather than an actual plan.

Tomos: I thought that plans _were _outlines...

Me: I guess they _could _be-

Armin: Can we get back to the story? I need to know what happens and I have to pee.

Tomos: So, is everybody clear on what to do?

Everyone: *_nods_*

Jazan: *_takes Ring of the Lost, a tracker and the teleporter_* If this doesn't work, I'm blaming you. *_takes hold of Tomos and Nabile and puts on the ring_*

_And so Jazan arrives at Qasala with Nabile and Tomos, while Brynn and Hanso set off for the Haunted Woods and Nightsteed and the Ogrin take Fyora to Neopia Central to be placed in the hospital._

Me: That's it, Armin, you can go now.

Armin: Thank God! *_runs away_*


	31. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Me: I'm back bitches! And it's chapter 30! YEAH!

Shadow: And we all know what _that _means!

Me: Hit it Armin!

Armin: *_at a dj stand wearing headphones and sunglasses_* Alright! *_plays "Blue" by Eiffel 65_*

Me: *_dancing and singing along_* Yo listen up, here's the story, about a little guy that lives in a blue world. And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outsi-OOF! *_crashes into cage where I trapped the Brynnso fangirls that tried to kill me_*

Trapped Brynnso fangirls: *_laugh at me_*

Me: *_flips them off_*

Shadow: Cake time! *_brings in a cake that says "Happy 30__th__ chapter"*_

Me: Hey Armin? Come here for a sec.

Armin: Uh, sure. Why? *_leaves dj stand_*

Me: Is that a hair in the frosting?

Armin: *_leans over cake*_ Where?

Me: Right... there! *_pushes his face into the cake*_

Shadow: *_ROFLing_*

Armin: *_wiping cake off his face_* I _really_ should have seen that coming. *_laughs_*

Me: Alright alright, back to the story.

_In Qasala..._

Tomos: Ugh, teleportation makes me dizzy.

Jazan: Qasala! My home! It's not cursed anymore either!

Nabile: *_coughs_* Hey guys? I'm not like I'm _slowly dying_ or anything but, uh, CAN YOU GET ME TO A GODDAM HOSPITAL OR SOMETHING?

Jazan: Oh. Right.

_At the hospital..._

Kau nurse: Yeah, so I ran some tests and crap, and you'll be just fine, you just need some rest.

Nabile: ...You _do _know that you're talking to your reflection in the mirror, right?

Kau nurse: I am? *_takes out joint and starts smoking_*

Jazan: ...Get her out of here and get us a professional!

Random servant: *_takes out the high nurse and gets Dr. House*_

House: What am I doing here?

Jazan: Can you help my wife?

House: What are you?

Nabile: He's a kyrii.

House: ...What are _you_?

Jazan: This was the best they could come up with?

Me: He's an expert diagnostician. Just, you know, for humans.

Jazan: So, this was entirely useless?

House: Guess so. *_leaves_*

Me: ...Yeah, so she just needs rest.

Nabile: Glad to hear it.

Tomos: *_walks in_* Did I miss anything?

Nabile: My nurse was high and Dr. House was here.

Tomos: So, basically nothing right?

Nabile: Basically.

Tomos: So, I made the announcement to the people of Qasala about the army, or the militia, depending on what you want to call it-

Jazan: Wait wait wait... _you_ made the announcement to _my_ people? In _my_ kingdom?

Tomos: Yeah, I didn't think you'd mind. Besides, someone needs to look after Nabile, don't they?

Nabile: Not to sound like Brynn, but I can take care of myself, Tomos.

Tomos: Not when you're hurt you're not. I made a promise when we teamed up all those years ago when we joined the Scarabs, to help take care of you.

Jazan: *_suspicious glare at Tomos*_

Nabile: I just need some sleep, but thanks for the concern.

Tomos: When do you think you can start on those potions?

Nabile: Tomorrow, maybe.

Me: Well, the healing process does need to be quick, or else Hanso and Brynn are going to be waiting outside a floating castle for a while. And Fyora's still gonna be in that coma.

Nabile: *_yawns and goes to sleep_*

Tomos: (whispering) Get well soon, Nabile. _*leaves hospital room*_

Jazan: *_angry glare and leaves*_

Tomos: Oh, Jazan?

Jazan: What?

Tomos: People are going to be signing up for places into the militia starting today, and we're going to have to assess their skill level and abilities and...Jazan? Is something wrong?

Jazan: *_you can tell he's pissed_* **No, nothings wrong. Everything's fucking **_**perfect**_**!**

Tomos: ...What's the matter?

Jazan: Oh, just that you're TRYING TO LEAD MY PEOPLE AND HITTING ON MY WIFE!

Tomos: *_shocked_* Man! What did you just _say_?

Jazan: Making the announcements that _I_ should be making, telling me what to do, and I saw you in there with her! You acting all sentimental, playing the "concerned friend", but I saw right through that, you were flirting with her! If I _ever_ catch you-

Tomos: DUDE! SHE'S MY _COUSIN_!

Jazan: You can yell at me all you wan- wait, what?

Tomos: *_talking in a quiet, menacingly angry way_* She's my cousin. She has been for over fourteen years. Do you know what that means? That means that we are cousins-by-marriage.

Jazan: *_combination of shock and slightly scared*_

Tomos: *_still talking in that same way_* Now, I'll thank you to stop jumping to conclusions and help me with the work that needs to be done. Thanks for listening, _cousin-in-law_. *_leaves room*_

Jazan: He...But I...Are they _really_ cousins?

Me: In _this_ story they are!

Jazan: ...I need a drink.

Me: Join our celebration! Shadow, Armin! Break out the Neocola!

Shadow and Armin: *_go to fridge and come back with armfuls of Neocola*_

Jazan: *_takes a can*_

Me: (chanting) Chug! Chug! Chug!

Shadow and Armin: *_join in*_ Chug! Chug! Chug!

Jazan: Alright, alright! *_starts chugging*_

_Several Neocolas later..._

Jazan: *_clutching stomach*_ Ugh, I feel sick...

_Um... Let's check on Hanso and Brynn..._

Hanso: Man, I _hate_ my arm sticking up like this! It looks like I'm saluting everyone!

A couple of people from the army, navy or marines, depending on where you come from: Hello, fellow soldier! *_salute_*

Hanso: ...Yeah, like that. Anyways, lets get going!

_Walking montage #9_

Me: Brynn, your turn to pick the song!

Brynn: I don't want to.

Me: Why not?

Brynn: I'm too depresed.

Me: Come on Brynn! I'll play your favorite song...

Brynn: *_shakes head*_

Me: *_starts playing "Jeremy" by Pearl jam*_

Hanso: Oh! I like that song!

Brynn: What? You _remember_ this?

Me: *_facepalm_* Brynn, Hanso remembers _everything_ except you, some childhood memories, and what a meepit looks like.

Hanso: Speaking of that, what _do_ they look like?

Me: No time for that, the song's starting!

Hanso: (singing) At home, drawing pictures, of mountaintops.

Me: (singing) With him on top. Lemon yellow sun.

Brynn: *_gets over her depression ant starts singing_* Arms raised in a "V". The dead lay, in pools of maroon blood-

Shadow: Wait wait wait! *_pauses song_* What was that last line?

Me: ...The dead lay in pools of maroon blood?

Shadow: Why is _that_ in there?

Me: Well, Shadow, Pearl jam is one of those bands where you can't really tell what they're saying, and their song doesn't sound like how you would think if you read the lyrics alone. For instance, their song "Even Flow" is about a homeless guy.

Hanso: Really? I didn't know that.

Brynn: Can we get back to the song please?

Me: Well, because you said please... *_resumes song*_

Brynn: (singing) -pools of maroon blood.

Hanso, Brynn and Me: (singing) Daddy didn't give attention, oh, to the fact that Mommy didn't care. King Jeremy the wicked, ruled his world. Jeremy spoke in class today. Jeremy spoke in class today.

Brynn: (singing) Clearly I remember, picking on the boy. Seemed a harmless little fuck.

Hanso: (singing) Oh, but we unleashed a lion, gnashed his teeth and..._*stops suddenly*_

Brynn: Why did you stop?

Hanso: What in the name of all that is good and cheese-flavored is _that_?

_In the middle of the road is a meepit._

Brynn: That's a meepit.

Hanso: So _that's_ what they look like. Wonder what it's doing here...

_15 minutes earlier in the Darkest Faerie's castle..._

Xandra: *_looks in crystal ball_* Shit!

TDF: What?

Xandra: The little shit made a plan and went with King and Queen Shit to Shitville and Stoned Shit and Hopeless Romantic Shit are trying to get to the castle, and Blind Shit and Horseshit took Her Majesty the Shit to some shitty hospital!

TDF: …

Xandra: So what do we do?

TDF: Eh, send a distraction or something. _*takes out Villains Weekly Magazine and starts reading_*

Xandra: Nothing spells "distraction" like meepits!

_Back to now..._

Brynn: So, uh, what do we do now?

Hanso: Ignore it?

Me: Because if you ignore your problem, it goes away!

Brynn: That's not right. If I ignore the fact that Hanso's stone, the stone doesn't go away.

Hanso: When I ignored Xandra, she didn't go away.

Me: So... All those "advice on bullying" seminars from school lied to me? What _else_ did they lie about? *_nervous breakdown_* EVERYTHING'S A LIE!

Shadow: *_gives me my knife*_

Me: *_stabs the wall_* I feel better now.

Hanso: ...So, yeah. Just walk around it-HOLY CRAP THERE ARE TWO MEEPITS NOW!

Brynn: Three!

Hanso: Five!

Brynn: Ten!

Hanso: A bunch!

Brynn: Several!

Hanso: Many!

Brynn: A swarm!

Me: Shut up _shut up_ SHUT UP!

Brynn and Hanso: Sorry.

Meepits: *_take out rope and tie Hanso and Brynn up*_

Brynn: **Well Hanso, you wanted to know what a meepit looked like.**

Me: Dark humor. Nice.

Hanso: Well, what's your excuse? I'm part stone, so it was harder for me to fight them off, but you are a fully functional Brightvale guard with a sword!

Brynn: They caught me by surprise!

Hanso: *_eye roll*_

Meepits: *_drag them away*_

Brynn and Hanso: Help!

Me: *_not listening because I'm playing computer solitaire, which, by the way, is very addicting*_

Jazan: *_groaning from Neocola abuse*_

Shadow: *_takes Armin's electric cattle prod to silence the screaming caged Brynnso fangirls while Armin gets the rest of the cake out of his hair*_

_So, what will happen next? Good question. Wish I knew the answer. But I will. And there will be a next chapter._


	32. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

_And so the story continues...The next day._

Tomos: *_walks in the dining room_*

Me: Busy day, huh?

Tomos: You kidding? Hour after hour of "So, why do you think that you're qualified to join?" followed by "I'm the strongest one in my family" or "I have war experience". I can't tell you how many people have won the Qasalan Annual Arm Wrestling Competition!

Me: So, a bunch of bigheaded jerks just wanna show off?

Tomos: In a nutshell.

Me: Why does this remind me of...basically any situation?

Tomos: Because the world is full of bigheaded jerks who want to show off.

Me: That's right!

Tomos: *_sighs and goes over to a door*_

Me: Don't open that door!

Tomos: ...Why?

Me: Jazan and Nabile are in there.

Tomos: And?

Me: And they've been in there for a while...

Tomos: ...You mean that they're-

Me: I don't know for sure, but I _don't_ want to find out.

Tomos: *_backs away from door_*

Me: …

Tomos: …

Shadow: …

Armin: …

Me: Anyone seen any good movies lately?

Everyone: No...

_Silence again._

Shadow: *_slams both hands on the table in a rhythm_*

Armin: *_claps once after Shadow slams her hands twice_*

Tomos and Me: *_join in*_

_If you haven't guessed already, we are playing the beat of "We Will Rock You" by Queen_

Me: (singing) Buddy, you're a boy make a big noise.

Tomos: (singing) Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day.

Shadow: (singing) You got mud on yo' face, you big disgrace.

Armin: (singing) Kickin' your can all over the place.

Everyone: (singing) We will, we will rock you! We will, we will rock you!

Nabile: *_enters the room in her street urchin clothes_* What are you guys up to?

Me: Epic song singing. What about yo-

Tomos: Don't ask that!

Me: Oh, right.

Nabile: Oh, Jazan and I were just burning Xandra's dress. Neither of us wanted to see it again...though it was very pretty.

Me: Oh, if that's all it was. See, Tomos, we just missed a dress burning, nothing else-

Jazan: _*walks in with his headdress missing_* Hey guys!

Tomos: ...Jazan? Where's your, uh-

Jazan: *_touches his head_* Oh right, I must have forgotten to put it back on after Nabile and I-

Nabile: Shh!

Tomos: o.0

Shadow, Armin and Me: *_quickly resume the song before anything else happens*_

_Several songs later..._

Tomos: So, Nabile, can you get started with those potions soon?

Nabile: Maybe sometime this afternoon.

Tomos: Excellent. And we've already got some people signed up for the militia! We're making progress!

Jazan: Group hi-five!

_They attempt at a group hi-five, but just manage to slap the sides of each other's hands._

Jazan: Wait...that wasn't right...

Tomos: Maybe we can stand in a circle and hi-five one hand from each person.

Jazan: No, that's just gay- *_flinches_*

Nabile: Jazan? Jazan, you can calm down, Brynn isn't here.

Jazan: Oh, right. Wait...that means I have the right to free speech again! WOOHOO!

Me: Has anyone else notices that no one has been frying pan whacked in the past few chapters?

Tomos: *_frying pan whacks Jazan*_

Nabile: *_frying pan whacks Tomos_*

Shadow: *_frying pan whacks Armin_*

Armin: *_frying pan whacks me_*

Me: *_throws frying pans in every direction*_

_Frying pan fight follows..._

Me: Okay, so no more frying pan fights. I think that, despite the only injuries being bruises, a couple of bloody noses and the occasional concussion, it might be worse in the future. All in favor?

Everyone: Agreed.

_So...let's go over to Hanso and Brynn..._

_Oh look! The meepits tied them in some sort of lair...uh..._

Brynn: **Great**.

Hanso: **Super**.

Brynn: ...Are you _completely_ sure that you don't remember me?

Hanso: *_sigh_* For the hundredth time, yes!

Caged Brynnso fangirls: *_crying_* NO! WHY? WHY CAN'T THEY JUST BE TOGETHER?

Brynn: Why are you so mean to me?

Hanso: Jesus Christ! I've barely known you for a day and you're attaching yourself to me like a leech! Do you have any idea of how fucking _annoying_ that is?

Brynn: *_hurt_*

Hanso: *_damage control*_ Look...you're...pretty, I'll give you that. It's just that I've known you for only a day and I can't remember you or how I may have felt. We'll see what happens when I get my memory back, okay?

Brynn: *_still hurt but nods*_

Caged Brynnso fangirls: *_whispering to each other* _There's hope!

Me: You know, it might just be worth it to keep them in there just to see their reactions to everything.

Shadow: But it will get annoying after a while.

Me: Psh, I'll deal with that when the time comes.

Brynn: So how are we going to escape?

Hanso: Lucky for you, I have a way! *_removes a knife from his arm thing using his good hand and cuts through the rope that was binding him_*

Me: Wait...does that mean...

Hanso: Yes Echo, it means that I listened to your PSA all those chapters ago.

Me: YES! SOMEONE LISTENED TO MY PSA! WOOHOO! *_fistpump_*

Hanso: *_frees Brynn_*

Brynn: Hurry, let's get out of here before they find us again!

_And so the run the hell away from there until they reach the sea that separates Meridell and Brightvale from the Haunted Woods, Faerieland and the Lost Desert._

Hanso: Fuck! How the fuck are we supposed to get across the fucking sea on a fucking day like this?

Brynn: Wow, Hanso, don't you think you say fuck a little too much?

Roxton: Maybe I can help!

Brynn: Oh fuck.

_Drum beat and laugh track._

Roxton: ...Anyways, you can join Clara, Jordie and I on our-

Hanso: You have a boat?

Roxton: Actually, we prefer the term "ship".

Brynn: **I'm sure.**

Roxton: Look, do you want the ride or not?

_And so Hanso and Brynn fled the meepits only to find themselves stuck on a boa- um, ship with Roxton. At least Clara and Jordie were there..._


	33. Chapter 32

_Lots of random facts in this chapter..._

Chapter 32

_Ah, mornings...how I hate them._

Tomos: *_walks in looking tired*_

Shadow: Rough night?

Tomos: Jazan and Nabile _really _need to soundproof their room.

Shadow: So they were at it again, huh?

Me: ...This is a weird conversation...

Tomos: You could hear them from across the hall.

Me: Um, TMI. Seriously, just...talk about something else.

Shadow: ...How's the militia?

Tomos: We should start training today.

Me: Yes! More montages!

Tomos: Oh shit...

Shadow: And the potions?

Tomos: I have _no_ idea how those are coming along.

Shadow: Why?

Tomos: Well, you _may_ notice a certain ixi and kyrii are still not here at this present moment in time.

Me: ...I can't tell whether that was supposed to be sarcasm or not, so...

Tomos: Meh, just leave it as is.

Shadow: What I want to know is why the conversation goes from formal to slang and cussing and then back to formal.

Me: Well, the characters talk formally in their plots, so I kept that and ...mixed it up a bit.

Tomos: *_looks at clock_* Holy crap! It's already 10:30! Training starts in half an hour!

Shadow: And we're still short two people.

Me: Armin!

Armin: *_walks in_* What?

Me: *_gives him air horn_* Go to Nabile and Jazan's room. You know what to do next.

Armin: Why do I always get the crap jobs?

Shadow: I can do it if you want...

Armin: Nah, I'm being paid for this shit. Thanks for offering though. *_takes air horn and leaves*_

Me: Why did you offer to go, Shadow?

Shadow: Well, uh, he does get a lot of crap jobs and I thought that I, uh...

Tomos: Shadow...OMG YOU'RE CRUSHING ON ARMIN!

Me: *_blinks in surprise*_

Shadow: _*blushes but doesn't deny it*_

Caged Brynnso fangirls: *_start chattering because they've run out of gossip lately*_

Me: I hate gossip. Leave me out of this.

Tomos: *_takes out phone_*

Shadow: Please don't tweet about this, Tomos!

Tomos: *_sigh_* Fine, but only because you said please. *_puts phone away*_

Armin: _*walks back in followed by Jazan and Nabile*_

Me: Alright, now that we've got the gang together, let's get this day started!

_Montage follows with the song "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor as background music._

Tomos and Jazan: *_lead the militia on a 5 mile run*_

_Scene shift._

Nabile: *_in lab gear, working with her potions*_

Deedee(from Dexter's Lab): What does this do? *_starts playing around with machinery*_

Nabile: Deedee! Get out of my laboratory!

_Scene shift._

Armin: *_getting high again*_

Shadow: _*sits next to him*_

Armin: *_gives her some coke*_

Shadow: *_gets high too*_

Me: *_walks in on them, throws the coke away and frying pan whacks them both because they got high in the middle of a chapter*_

_Scene shift._

Tomos and Jazan: _*various workouts. Like situps, pushups, jump rope, boxing etc. with the militia*_

_As the song draws to a close, all the characters all jump up and throw their fists in the air, and then freeze in midair._

Tomos: ...So how long do we stay like this?

Me: I dunno...

_Some time later..._

Nabile: Still up here.

_More time later..._

Shadow: Yeah, this was probably a bad idea.

_Eventually..._

Everyone: _*falls crashing to the ground_* Ow...

_After some emergency first aid..._

Me: So, uh, how's progress?

Jazan: Militia's doing fine, we'll start training with weapons soon!

Nabile: Potions are tough. I might take a while with them. Not sure how long though...

Me: Alright, people, take a break. You all deserve it.

_On a boat..._

Roxton: Ship!

Me: Clara...

Clara: On it! *_frying pan whacks Roxton*_

Jordie: *_laughs. Can you blame him? He's a little boy who enjoys violence!*_

Roxton: _*rubbing back of his head*_ So...Do you two have any means of payment?

Brynn: Payment?

Roxton: Of course! We're giving you a ride, a roof over your head, food to eat and company! I need money, people!

Brynn: I don't have anything-

Hanso: Um, does this cover it? *_holds out an amethyst pendant*_

Roxton: Maybe...*_takes it_*_  
_

Brynn: ...Where did you get that?

Hanso: Meepits' lair. I also took this ring, this gold watch, this vase and this thing.

Brynn: _*takes the...thing_* Looks like a spearhead. Nice one too.

Hanso: Valuable?

Brynn: Maybe, if you gave it to an artefact collector. But otherwise, no- wait...when did you manage to get all these things?

Hanso: They were just lying around and I thought, why not?

Shadow: You know, Echo, it sounds like this was forgotten to be mentioned in the last chapter.

Me: Well, Shadow, if you're going to pull an ending out of your ass, there's bound to be some shit in it.

Shadow: *_does not know how to respond to that*_

Clara: So...how long is this trip?

Jordie: Few hours, give or take.

Shadow: Let's play a game!

_And it's time for: "How Much do You Know About Anything?" With your host, Shadow!_

_Applause._

Shadow: Let's meet the teams. Team one is Hanso and Brynn, the geniuses from Brightvale!

_Applause._

Shadow: Team two is Roxton and Clara, one known for adventure and survival, the other for her book smarts!

_Applause._

Shadow: And team three is Echo and Jordie, the remaining two people!

_Applause._

Shadow: Team one, what is the capital of Idaho?

Me: Wait, seriously?

Jordie: *_raises hand_* Oh, pick me! Pick me!

Shadow: Quiet team three!

Hanso: Um...

Brynn: Damn, what is it?

Jordie and Me: *_dying because we know the answer and can't believe the others don't*_

Hanso: Pass.

Brynn: Pass.

Shadow: Does another team know the answer?

Jordie: *_presses buzzer*_

Shadow: And...team three!

Jordie and Me: Boise!

Shadow: That is correct!

_Applause._

Me: How is it that you two know, like, every language in the known universe but you don't know the capital of Idaho? Learning the capitals of the States was fifth grade for me, and I only know three languages!

Brynn: What's the capital of Michigan?

Me: Lansing.

Hanso: Wyoming?

Me: Cheyenne.

Brynn: New Mexico?

Me: Santa Fe.

Roxton: No! It's Albuquerque!

Jordie: _*looks at map of the US_* No, Echo's right! It _is_ Santa Fe!

Clara: What about...South Carolina?

Me: Columbia.

Roxton: Poland!

Clara: That's not in the US...

Me: Warsaw.

Roxton: You know Europe too?

Me: Hell yeah!

Brynn: Bulgaria?

Me: Sofia.

Shadow: Shut up team three, or you will be disqualified!

Me: *_shuts up but is angry*_

Shadow: Team two, what is the difference between a liberal and a crazy liberal?

Me: *_takes out my knife and starts stabbing the wall because I know the answer to this too*_

Roxton: Well, you see, a crazy liberal is a normal liberal, but just crazy!

Shadow: Sorry, that is incorrect.

Me: *_hits buzzer*_

Shadow: Team three?

Me: A liberal wants everyone to accept everyone as they are. A crazy liberal accepts everyone as they are, but we hate them for being different at the same time.

Shadow: Correct!

Clara: Wait...what?

Me: I'm a crazy liberal, which means I accept people the way they are, but inside I hate them for being different.

Clara: *_confused_*

Shadow: Back to the game!

_Many very, very painful rounds later..._

Me: Whew! Glad that's over.

Jordie: Yeah, you people are real douches!

Roxton: Aw, look at them. Convinced that they're smarter than everyone else. Aren't stupid people so entertaining?

Me: _*almost throws Roxton overboard but I get detained by everyone else. I content myself by whacking him over and over again with my frying pan.*_

Clara: *_joins in*_

Jordie: *_takes out popcorn and watches_* This is just like Saturday morning cartoons!

Roxton, Clara and Me: _*R+ swearing as we have our frying pan massacre*_

Jordie: ...Just _really_ uncensored.


	34. Chapter 33

_Wow. Two updates in two days! Echo's on a roll! _

_On a side note, Chubby Bunny is a game where you put a marshmallow in your mouth, say "Chubby Bunny" and then put another marshmallow in your mouth etc.  
_

Chapter 33

_Just another day..._

Tomos, Shadow and Armin: *_playing Chubby Bunny_*

Me: *_watching because ever since I learned what marshmallows were made of, I eat them as rarely as possible_*

Tomos: *_with his mouth stuffed_* Chu-y Un-ny.

Shadow: *_laughs and chokes on the marshmallows in her mouth_*

Me: Quick! Someone do the Heimlich maneuver!

Armin: *_spits out his marshmallows, runs over to Shadow and does the Heimlich_*

Shadow: *_coughs and the marshmallow is dislodged_*

Tomos and Me: Hooray!

Shadow: Armin...you saved my life!

Armin: Yeah...yeah, I guess I did.

Me: **Oh great.** Now they're having a moment.

Tomos: Should we leave?

Shadow and Armin: *_lean in slowly_*

Tomos and Me: *_feel like we really shouldn't be there_*

Jazan and Nabile: *_burst in randomly without knocking_*

Shadow and Armin: *_jump apart_*

Nabile: Oh! Did we interrupt something?

Shadow: (evasively) No, no, nothing at all!

Armin: (Same) Of course not! Why would something be happening?

Tomos and Me: *_remain silent*_

Jazan: So...uh...

_Awkward silence._

Jazan: Are those marshmallows?

Tomos: Yeah, we were playing Chubby Bunny and then...*_doesn't finish sentence*_

Nabile: I know! We can have a campfire and-

Me: I did that already.

Nabile: Even the campfire song song?

Me: *_nods_*

Nabile: Damn!

Shadow: How're those potions coming, Nabile?

Nabile: Fine.

Tomos: Almost done?

Nabile: Yep. How's the militia?

Jazan: Doin' great!

Nabile: And Hanso and Brynn? Are they almost there?

Me: A few days away.

Tomos: So that means...the story's almost over?

Me: All good things must come to an end.

Jazan: But...what will we do without this story? Where will we go? What will we do?

Me: *_shrugs_* Up to you, pal. But don't worry, there are at least four or five chapters left.

Nabile: I don't want to be unemployed! Unemployment is scary!

Me: WTF you won't be unemployed! You will just get on with your life! All of you!

Jazan, Nabile and Tomos: *_suddenly concerned for their future*_

Shadow and Armin: *_look at each other sadly because they only have four or five chapters*_

Me: *_sigh_* Look, I never said that this will be my _only_ story-

Everyone: *_hugs me because they want to be in another story_*

Me: *_I don't like to be touched_* Get off of me! GET OFF OF ME!

Everyone: *_lets go of me before I get out my knife*_

Me: Thank you.

Tomos: So...now what?

_And so we have a pool party. Well, why not?_

Jazan and Nabile: *_splash fighting_*

Shadow: *_writing her stories somewhat away from the pool_*

Tomos: Hey! Watch this! *_does a cannonball off of the high-dive_*

Jazan, Nabile and Armin: *_applaud_*

Me: Psh, check this out! *_does a double back flip dive off of the high dive*_

Tomos, Nabile and Armin: *_cheer_*

Jazan: Wow Echo, I didn't know you were that good at diving!

Me: I'm not.

Jazan: Then how-

Me: It's my story. I can stretch the truth about how I dive if I want to. All of _you_, however...

Armin: BELLYFLOP! *_bellyflops_*

Me: ...Yeah, you crazy people are out of my control.

One caged Brynnso fangirl: Can we be let out now?

Another: Yeah, I wanna go home!

Me: Do you really want to leave my nice office where you get three meals a day and snacks, a bathroom break every hour, and a nice, spacious cage with all your friends where you get a great view of what's happening in the story?

Caged Brynnso fangirls: Well...

Me: Yeah, that's what I thought.

Caged Brynnso fangirls: Can we see Hanso and Brynn now?

Jazan: (offended) Why, are we not good enough for you?

Me: Jazan, you have _plenty_ of fangirls. But these are Brynnso fangirls.

Jazan: *_gets the logic*_

_On a ...ship._

Roxton: Land ho!

Hanso: Oh thank God!

Brynn: *_hugs Clara and Jordie goodbye_* It was nice seeing you guys!

Clara: Feel free to come and visit us anytime!

Jordie: (whispering) Seriously, if we're left alone with that lutari for too long...

Brynn: Don't worry, we will. But first we have to defeat the Darkest Faerie and Xandra, wake up Fyora and unstone Hanso.

Clara: **Oh, is that all?**

_On land..._

_Walking montage #10. Come on, you know you love these!_

Me: Hanso, your turn to pick the song.

Hanso: There comes a time, when the operation of the machine-

Me: Hanso...we've already done Linkin Park.

Hanso: We have? When?

Me: When you were stoned.

Hanso: Oh come on! Linkin Park is, like, the best band ever!

Me: *_thinking about it_* Well, it _was _background music... Alright Hanso, you get your song. _*starts playing "Wretches and Kings" by Linkin Park_*

Hanso: There comes a time, when the operation of the machine becomes so odious. Makes you so sick at heart that you can't take part. You can't even passively take part! And you gotta put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus and you've got to make it stop!

_Music follows..._

Brynn: (singing) To save face, how low can you go? Talk a lotta game and yet you don't know. Static on the wave makes us all say "Woah!". The people up top push the people down low. Get down!

Hanso: (singing) And obey every word! Steady coming back if you haven't yet heard-

Peter Griffin: Oh, so you haven't heard? *_pauses the song_*

Shadow: Oh fuck!

Peter: _*plays "Surfing Bird" by the Trashmen_* Oh well the bird bird bird, the bird is the word-

Armin: *_frying pan whacks him before this stupid cycle happens all over again, and resumes the original song_*

Hanso: (continuing as if nothing happened) Gonna take what I've got, don't be absurd! Don't fight the power, nobody gets hurt.

Me: (singing) If you haven't heard yet, then I'm letting you know there ain't shit! We don't run when the guns unload. Nobody moves unless my people say so, I got everything out of control, now everybody go!

Brynn, Hanso and Me: (singing) Steel unload! Final blow! We the animals take control! Hear us now! Clear and true! Wretches and kings, we come for you!

Brynn: (Singing) And save face, how slow can you- *_stops singing_* AH! SHADOW WRAITHS!

Hanso: I thought that they disappeared when I released the faeries!

Me: The Darkest Faerie reduced the faerie's powers, remember?

Hanso: Oh yeah...

Brynn: *_takes out sword and lets out a war cry as she fights the wraiths*_

Hanso: Wow...

Brynn: *_ninja moves_*

Hanso: *_staring_*

Brynn: *_kills all of the wraiths and notices Hanso staring at her_* What?

Hanso: Nothing. It's just watching you fight...It's _hot_!

Brynn: *_blushes_* You think so?

Hanso: Yeah! I mean...um...kinda...

Brynn: Alright, we've gotta get going. I've heard that the story's going to end soon!

Hanso: NO! WHY? _WHY_?

Brynn: IKR, stories should never end! _Never_!

Me: If they didn't, then there wouldn't be many stories now would there? 'Cuz they would never end.

Brynn: (mutters) Still...

Me: Like I told the others, I _will_ write more stories.

Hanso: Promise?

Me: Promise.

Hanso: Pinky-swear?

Me: _*pinky-swears*_

Hanso: On your life?

Me: Yes! For the third time _yes_!

Hanso: Just makin' sure.

Caged Brynnso fangirls: Will we be let out eventually?

Me: Before the story's over. All I have to do is figure out how to end it...

Shadow: I have some ideas...

Me: Really? Hm...

_What am I thinking? How will the story end? Find out...Next chapter!_

_Echo Note: Yeah...I'm running out of ideas...  
_


	35. Sad Ending

_Hey, this is Shadow. Echo was feeling uninspired today (she went on about inspiration and frying pans for a good five minutes before telling me the outline of what she was planning to write), so she suggested I put my writing to good use and I write the sad ending, which was what she was thinking in the last chapter. So I did, for the people who hate the endings where everything ends up okay. If you don't like death, than you may prefer the happy ending that Echo will write up...when she gets around to it. I tried writing this in script format, but it didn't work with the way the story went, so I changed it to story format. There are no narrator interruptions, walking montages, or frying pans in this ending. It also has more Brynnso in it than Nazan, but if I'm going to be honest, I'm a bit of a Brynnso fangirl myself. Feel free to choose your favorite ending and go with that one._

Sad Ending

Nabile was standing in the middle of a darkly-lit lab, wondering. Wondering what else was needed for her potions, wondering if they would work, wondering what would happen if they got lost... She shook her head.

"Nabile, this is no time to think about what can go wrong. Just focus." she told herself. She continued working on the pale pink potion in front of her, wondering what needed to be added to it for it to take the magenta hue it was supposed to have. Looking through her books, she didn't notice Jazan enter the lab.

"Nabile?" he asked. Nabile jumped.

"Shit, Jazan, you scared me!"

"I'm sorry." The orange kyrii took a few steps toward his wife. "Have you eaten at all today?"

"Yes." Nabile lied. In truth, she hadn't eaten at all since lunch the day before. She had been too busy. As if contradicting her, her stomach gave a loud growl. Jazan smiled.

"Well," he said, "It would appear that you're hungry anyway. Come, it's getting late. You should eat and take a break, you haven't left this lab in hours!"

Nabile looked back at the potions. "I can't leave this unfinished." she replied.

"I think those are ready." Jazan said. He was pointing at two mossy green potions lined up side by side.

Nabile nodded. "That's one of the most powerful revival potions I know." she said. "This will definitely wake up Queen Fyora."

"But there are two..." replied Jazan, confused.

Nabile's face took on a strange expression as she answered. "I think that this potion could help Hanso too, but I'm not entirely sure."

Jazan looked at the pale pink potion that was taking so much out of his wife. "And that?"

Nabile's expression turned stony. "That's something I'm saving for Xandra." she said bitterly.

Jazan decided not to ask any questions about that. Instead he motioned for Nabile to come. The pink ixi sighed, and took off the protective gloves and coat that she was wearing. She followed Jazan to the dining hall where Tomos was waiting for them both. He smiled.

"I see that you got the genius to come out of her lab."

Nabile scowled. Tomos laughed. "Come on, you know I'm just teasing you."

They sat down at the table. Waiters came in and fed them a multiple course meal, made from ingredients native to the desert region. No one spoke as they ate. There was a feeling of tension in the air, and they all felt it. After dessert was cleared away, the three of them were left alone. There was a moment of silence before Tomos said what was on all of their minds.

"We attack tomorrow night."

Jazan and Nabile nodded. They knew that this was coming. All their work, coming into action at that one point.

Tomos continued. The fourteen year old lupe had taken on the leadership position in their small group. "Tomorrow night, we take the army to the Darkest Faerie's fortress, and invade through the entrance provided for us by Hanso and Brynn. Many lives will be lost, but if we just take out the Darkest Faerie and Xandra, I'm certain that their minions will fall."

He stood up. "Good night." he said, and left. Nabile watched his retreating form before noticing how tired she was. It wasn't surprising, she woke up at dawn and went to bed late. Yawning, she stood up slowly, then clutched her stomach.

"What's wrong?" In an instant, Jazan was at her side.

"Nothing, I just feel a bit sick. I probably ate too fast." Nabile said. It was true, she did feel a bit nauseous. Jazan helped her walk down the many hallways before opening the door to their room. Nabile walked over to the bed fully clothed and was asleep before her head touched the pillow.

oOo

_The Haunted Woods are creepy at night, _Brynn thought to herself. Then she wondered why she thought that. She looked up in front of her where Hanso was literally crashing his way through the trees. _He isn't scared, _she thought. _But it isn't like him to be scared._

Hanso swore. A branch had just scraped his arm and it stung. He felt something wet trickle down from the cut. Ignoring it, he continued his trek through the woods. The back of his neck and head were stone, so that made it impossible to look at his feet and see where he was stepping. It was probably for this reason why he tripped over a tree root.

Brynn saw Hanso sway and loose his footing. Without thinking, she ran up behind him, threw her arms around his waist and pulled back sharply, preventing him from falling but effectively knocking the winds out of him. He leaned his back against a tree, trying to catch his breath while Brynn massaged out a tense muscle in her arm. Hanso caught his breath, and started to breathe in slowly. He turned to Brynn.

"Thanks." he said. Then he smiled at her.

Brynn was grateful to the darkness for covering up her blushing face. She still loved Hanso despite the fact that he couldn't remember her. She reached out her arm and grabbed his shoulder, searching his eyes for some recognition, any recognition. But all she saw was surprise and nervousness.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

Brynn sighed and withdrew her arm. "Nothing." she muttered, shaking her head. Then she continued walking through the woods as if nothing had happened.

Some time later, they had arrived at the border separating the Haunted Woods and the newly-crashed Faerieland. Somewhere nearby, they knew there was the Darkest Faerie's castle. Brynn suggested that they make camp for the night, and Hanso agreed. He was tired. Taking off his jacket, he lay down on the ground and draped his coat over him. He looked over at Brynn. The orange kougra was shivering on the ground a few feet away from him. Hanso, feeling sorry for her, went over and put his coat over her. She looked up, surprised.

Hanso shrugged. "You need it more than I do." he said, motioning to his stone arm. Brynn looked him in the eye again, searching. Finding nothing, she thanked him and he went away. Brynn was glad, she didn't want him to see her cry.

Hanso was questioning his actions. _She needed it more than I did, and I can deal with a little cold, _one part of his brain said. _Besides, it's better than explaining to the others why she caught a cold the __day before the attack. _As he was laying down, another part of his brain, a small part near to the stoned bit, asked him "_Why though? You've barely known her for a few days._" The dominant part of his brain and the small part started to argue. Hanso felt as if he was watching himself having an argument...with himself.

The dominant part laughed. _You don't really care, do you? It would be a burden to explain to the others why she caught a cold or froze to death._

_You do care. She knows you. You used to know her, _the other part said.

Hanso rolled himself into a ball. He wished that his inner conflicts would stop. Suddenly, he realized that only the small part of his brain was talking; the dominant part had fallen silent. _Look at her, _the small part ordered. Hanso rolled on his side and saw the sleeping form of his...friend? Could he call her a friend yet?

_Yes, you can._

"Who is she, though?"

_She's someone you used to know. She's someone who meant something to you. You can still care, even if you don't remember._

Hanso felt his eyes start to droop. "Thanks." he whispered before falling asleep.

oOo

Jazan woke up to find Nabile already gone. _She probably skipped breakfast, _he thought. _Again._

However, when he reached the lab, he saw a rather frantic-looking Nabile stuffing herself full of leftover food from a basket. She was crying.

"Nabile?"

The pink ixi jumped up. She spun around, horrified.

"What are you doing?" Jazan asked.

Nabile looked around, as if looking for someone to help her. Then, pulling a straight face, she said "Hi Jazan, I'm just making sure I have enough to eat. I've, uh, skipped a few meals in the past, as you can see."

Jazan looked at his wife. Her smile was obviously forced, and there were tear tracks down her cheeks.

"What's the matter? Tell me." Jazan commanded.

Nabile sighed, and put down the Puntec Fruit she was eating. She didn't notice that she put it in the potion she was making. Suddenly, the potion made a hissing noise, and the lab was filled with a dark purple smoke. When the fumes aired out, Nabile saw that the potion was exactly the right shade of magenta it was supposed to be.

"I did it!" she cried excitedly. She took a small bottle and filled it. She then put the potion next to the two others. Seeing the three lined up made her sigh with relief. Jazan watched all this without a word. Then he took Nabile by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, though it sounded more like a threat.

Nabile sighed and shook her head. "Jazan, I'm-"

Her sentence was cut off by Tomos running in. "Guys! We need the both of you, stat!"

Jazan groaned. "Now?"

Tomos frantically cried "Yes now!"

Jazan took one look at Nabile. She smiled. "I'll tell you later." she promised.

"Hurry!" Tomos yelled before rushing out the door. Jazan and Nabile followed him.

oOo

Hanso woke up to find Brynn looking at him. Before he could say anything, she explained, "I woke up a minute ago. I was just about to wake you."

_She's lying. I can tell, _Hanso thought. But he just nodded instead of questioning her. Then he noticed that her eyes were had a slight pink tinge, as if she had been crying.

"Were you...crying?" he asked. Brynn looked away.

"No." she replied. "I just had a rough night's sleep." Without looking at him, she tossed over his jacket. "Put this on, I'll get us some food." she said, then she walked away.

Putting on his jacket, naturally with some difficulty because of his stone arm, he thought: _She was lying. First about not watching me sleep, then about not crying. I could tell, but how could I tell?_

Watching the kougra's retreating form, Hanso's heart twisted with pity. The small part of his brain, which he had subconsciously labeled the "logic part", started to speak up again. _You see? _it asked.

"See what?"

_You're feeling sorry for her. You know what it's like to forget, but do you know what it's like to be forgotten?_

Hanso thought. He tried to imagine someone close to him suddenly forgetting his very existence. But he couldn't. No one he knew had ever been particularly close to him.

_Except maybe her, _the logic part of his brain told him.

Hanso stopped trying to button up his coat and sighed.

"I wish I could remember."

oOo

"What's the emergency?" Jazan yelled after the rushing lupe.

"It's Scordrax!" Tomos yelled over his shoulder.

Running out of the palace doors, the three pets saw many burning buildings, including the one that housed their militia. Scordrax, meanwhile, was preparing to set fire to the marketplace.

"Enough!" Jazan bellowed. He summoned his magic and blasted Scordrax in the back. The two-headed beast roared and fell over unconscious.

"Stupid bastard." Jazan cursed under his breath. He turned to Tomos. "Have there been many losses?" he asked.

Tomos rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, there were a few casualties. And the numbers in the militia have dwindled to a few. If we were to attack with the people we have now, we would be hopelessly outnumbered when trying to capture the Darkest Faerie's castle."

Jazan swore. "Try and find more people willing to join." Turning away, he muttered "Why do these types of things always happen at the last second?"

Tomos, hearing him, replied "There are some things out of our control. It's up to us whether we deal with them or not." The lupe tugged at the kyrii's arm. "Come on, I need your help with this."

"But Nabile..." Jazan turned around to find that his wife had already retreated into the castle.

Tomos sighed. "Looks like she's gone back to work."

Jazan shook his head. "No, she finished everything right before you alerted us to the problem with Scordrax. She wanted to tell me something, but I don't know what."

Tomos thought for a moment. Then he shrugged. "I don't know what it could be. But I still need your help recruiting if we want any part of our mission to be successful."

Jazan groaned. _Just what I need. To sit down for hours listening to people brag about how strong and tough and qualified they are._ Looking back at the castle, Jazan thought, _What's wrong with Nabile? What's so important that she can't stay around and tell me, but can just randomly go and...and what? Stuff herself some more? What is she doing?_

Another tug on his arm from Tomos brought Jazan back to reality. "The sooner we start, the sooner we can finish." Tomos said. Jazan gave a sigh, but allowed himself to be pulled away.

oOo

Brynn returned to the campsite with an armful of fruit that she had picked from some trees nearby. Hanso noted that she looked much happier than before. She sat down in front of him and lay the fruit down on the grass. "Take your pick." she said.

Hanso reached out for the closest one before wincing. The cut he had gotten on his arm the night before still hurt. Noticing his discomfort, Brynn's eyes narrowed. "You're hurt." When Hanso neither confirmed nor denied this, Brynn took a closer look at his arm. "Shit!" she swore under her breath. Overnight, the cut had swollen and taken on a puffy, red and pus-filled look.

"Is it bad?" Hanso asked. "I'd look myself, but my head's kinda stuck in one position."

"It's pretty bad looking, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Hang on." Brynn dug through her bag that held the tracker, rope and strange weapon that Fyora had had with her, and located the small first-aid kit. "I'm no Healing Faerie, but let's see what I can do."

As Brynn started to clean the cut with antiseptic, Hanso suddenly said "Brynn? What do you know about me? About my past?"

Brynn's hand fumbled. "Why?"

Hanso just said "To help me remember."

Brynn paused. _Where to start? _she thought. "You are Hanso. You were and probably still are a thief. I had caught you many times after your attempted heists. You went to the school for orphans, and that's where I met you." Suddenly, Brynn opened up. She told him of his past, his escapes. She even went into the superficial details: He liked to be outside when it rained. He'd always dreamed of going to Mystery Island. He had a preference for dark chocolate over milk chocolate.

Hanso just sat there and listened. He recognized most of what Brynn said about him. _It's true then. She did know me,_ he thought. "Wait!" he said, changing track. "Tell me about you."

"I have a better idea." said Brynn. "Let's just ask each other one question at a time. What's your favorite color?"

"Blue." Hanso replied immediately. Then he felt the need to clarify. "Not normal blue, not like the color I am now. Lighter, clearer, like..." He was lost in a train of thought. "There's a word for it, but I can't think of it right now. What about you? What's your favorite color?"

Brynn thought about it briefly. "Silver."

Hanso raised an eyebrow. "Silver?" he asked.

Brynn nodded. "The color of the moon and the stars. The color of the sky on a foggy day."

Hanso was confused. "But that's gray..."

Brynn looked up from the cut she was bandaging and looked him in the eye. "It all depends on how you look at it. I see it as silver, you see it as gray."

Hanso tried to think of a reply to this, when he noticed the color of Brynn's eyes. Sky blue, turquoise maybe. His favorite color.

"Turquoise." he said. Now it was Brynn's turn to be confused.

"What?"

"My favorite color. Turquoise. Now, did you always want to be a guard?"

"Ever since I was six years old. Did you always want to be a thief."

"Not at first. I stole because I needed to. But then it became a way of life for me. Then, yeah, I guess I did always want to be a thief. It was what I knew how to do."

A silence followed. It was broken only by Brynn suggesting that they continue to the castle. Hanso agreed, and they left their campsite and an untouched pile of fruit behind them.

oOo

Tomos could barely keep his eyes open. All morning he had reviewed the cases of many hopefuls trying to get into the militia. But this time, women and even some teenagers had tried to get in. The worst part was, he had to let some of them in, because of the small numbers on their side. And even with this, he still had a feeling that the army was too small. _Well, _he thought as he retired to the dining room for lunch, _I don't know for sure how well the Darkest Faerie protects her castle. She could be so vain to barely protect it, thinking that no one would dare disturb her. _Hoping that what he thought was the truth, he went into the dining room to find Nabile.

"Nabile?"

The pink ixi jumped. "Oh, Tomos. You scared me." Nabile's eyes were vacant and distracted.

Tomos pulled up a chair next to his cousin. "What's the matter? What haven't you been telling Jazan and me?"

Nabile seemed to be debating whether to tell him or not. Then, sighing and defeated, she leaned over and whispered something in Tomos' ear.

Tomos sat upright in shock. "No way! Are you serious?"

Nabile nodded. "I haven't told Jazan yet."

Tomos, struck with a sudden realization, said "Don't tell him! He might not let you go on the mission!"

Nabile contemplated this. "That's true. He didn't want me going in the first place. If he knew..." Nabile's eyes started to water, not at her secret, but at the fact that she had to keep it hidden from her husband. She put her face in her hands. "I'm such a wreak, Tomos!" she sobbed.

Tomos awkwardly reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. After a few minutes of Nabile's crying, she began to calm down. "Have you sent the potion to Fyora yet?" Tomos asked, eager to change the subject.

Nabile gasped and sat bolt upright. "No! I haven't! Damn, thanks for reminding me!" Jumping up, she ran from the room. Tomos, with nothing better to do, followed her.

In the lab, Nabile ran to the one magenta and two mossy green potions sitting on the table. She picked up a green one and packaged it up, and sent it to Neopia Central by a carrier Weewoo.

"So that's what's been taking so much out of you? Just those three potions?" Tomos asked.

"Trust me, they're a whole lot more trouble than they seem." Nabile answered.

"And what's that?" Tomos asked, nodding towards the half-eaten basket of food.

Nabile blushed. "I, uh, may have...skipped some meals in the past few days."

"Oh." An awkward silence followed, broken by Tomos reaching into the basket and taking out some Sphinx Links. "Well, we might as well not miss this meal either." he joked. Nabile smiled and sat next to him on the workbench. They sat in silence, eating. But the food stuck in their throats, it was hard to swallow, knowing what they knew.

"Listen Nabile, there's a chance that some of us...may not come back tomorrow." Tomos said, preparing to say what he had been rehearsing in his mind for the past few minutes. "If you...If he...Find the right time to tell Jazan. He'll understand." _So much for rehearsing..._

Nabile flinched. _It's almost time. It's already lunch. We attack sometime after sundown. I might not survive. _That last line echoed in her head, changing slightly every time. _I might not survive. Jazan might die. Tomos might not make it back. Hanso and Brynn. The militia. Husbands, wives, children..._

"What if we fail?" she found herself asking out loud.

It was Tomos' turn to flinch. "Then I might as well have killed many people with my plan."

oOo

"There it is."

Hanso and Brynn looked up at the floating castle many feet above them. To their right was Faerieland, with all the faeries trapped inside and their magic rendered useless. An air faerie was the closest to them. Her expression read: _You are our only hope._

Suddenly, Hanso's eyes narrowed. "Hey Brynn?"

"Yeah?"

"How is anyone going to get up there?"

The realization of this flaw in the plan, this lapse of logic, fell on them like a pile of rocks. Brynn started to swear at the top of her lungs, but Hanso clasped his good hand over her mouth. When Brynn's eyes widened in indignation and anger, Hanso hissed under his breath "Do you _want_ them to know that we're here?"

Brynn rolled her eyes and removed Hanso's hand from her face. Then her face lit up. "The rope!" she exclaimed.

"What?"

"In the supplies Fyora left us! There was a rope! If we get it onto the castle somehow, we could climb up it!"

"Great idea Brynn!" Hanso said sarcastically. "Pure genius! Now all we need is a way to get the rope up there too, then we'll be all set!"

Brynn recoiled as if he had just slapped her. Hanso seemed to realize that he had been too harsh. "Sorry." he muttered. "The stress is really getting to me."

Brynn nodded, but she still looked hurt. "I understand. It's finally time. Now or never. We win or we lose." Then she ducked her head to take out the rope. Digging through the stuff in the bag, her hand collided with the strange weapon. "Oh yeah. I forgot about that." she said as she dragged it out. "What do you think it is?"

"Looks like a harpoon gun. With no harpoons." Hanso said, taking the useless weapon from her. The minute that he did, there was a large explosion to the right of them. Turning around, the sight was enough to make Brynn scream. "They're bombing Faerieland!"

It was true. The first of many firebombs had landed in the heart of Faerie City, knocking over the Hidden Tower and burning the library to its foundations. You could hear faeries screaming in shock and in pain.

Brynn started to run towards the wreckage, but Hanso grabbed her arm. "No! You'll just get yourself killed! They can handle it!"

As another scream pierced the air, Brynn thought _Not likely. _Suddenly, her eyes lighted on the useless weapon in Hanso's hand.

"Hanso? Do you still have that spearhead from the meepits' hideout?"

"Yeah, right here." he replied, taking it out of his pocket. "Why?"

"Trust me." Taking the spearhead from him, Brynn ran to the nearest tree and broke off a thin but sturdy limb. Then, returning over to her bag, she took out the rope, knotted it at intervals and tied it to the base of the tree limb, pulling on it a few times to make sure that it didn't slip off. Then, she took the spearhead and put it next to the other end of the branch. _I need something to tie it all together, _she thought. _But what? _The answer came to her almost immediately. She put one hand behind her head and took her hair out of its ponytail. Her bright ginger hair fell in waves around her face as the used her hair-tie to attach the spearhead to the branch. The end result was a makeshift harpoon.

Taking this, Brynn loaded it into the gun and pointed it at a part of the castle. Taking careful aim, she shot. The harpoon whistled as it flew through the air and made a dull thud as it impacted the castle above. Brynn tugged on the rope. It stuck. She pulled harder. It didn't budge. Brynn kept pulling until she was sure that it could hold the weight of the average neopet, then she tied the other end to a nearby tree.

"Good work." Hanso commented. Inwardly, his compliment made Brynn flush with pride. Outwardly, she just said that she hoped that all the others could get up there as well.

"Speaking of the others, they should be here any minute. Do we still have that tracker?" Hanso asked.

Brynn nodded yes and reached into her bag to retrieve it. As she pulled it out, however, another bomb hit Faerieland.

"They're trying to destroy it!" Brynn yelled over the noise and commotion. She ran over to the rope that served as her way up to the castle.

"Brynn? Brynn! What are you doing?" Hanso yelled after her.

"There's no time to wait! If I don't get in there now, who knows how many faeries will die!" she yelled back. She took the tracker in her hand and jammed it into the ground. _That should keep it safe. _Then, she gripped the rope and climbed up, using the knots she tied in it as places to push off with her hands and feet.

"Brynn! Stop right now! You'll get yourself killed!" Hanso yelled from where he was standing on the ground. Brynn kept climbing swiftly up the rope, either unable to hear Hanso or ignoring him. A mixture of terror and a protective feeling rose inside of Hanso. The logic part of his brain spoke up again. _What are you standing around for? Go help her!_

Hanso rushed over to the rope and hauled himself onto it. "This may be a bad idea." he said to himself. Another bomb dropped onto Faerieland. "But it's better than staying down here."

oOo

"You ready?" Jazan asked Nabile.

_No... _"Yes." she replied. They were all to go via the teleporter, then Nabile, Jazan and Tomos were supposed to go in first, followed by the militia. Nabile wasn't entirely sure how the plans turned out that way, but she just chose to accept it. She reached out and took Jazan's hand. "Ready."

Tomos nodded. He gave the signal and everyone in the army grabbed another's shoulder or hand, for to teleport requires all people or objects that are being moved to be in contact with each other. Placing his hand on Nabile's shoulder, Tomos entered the coordinates from the tracking signal sent by Hanso and Brynn. "Here we go!"

Have you ever teleported? It's not fun. Your head seems to spin in one direction, your body in another, and your arms and legs get twisted into knots. Then, you become undone as you reach your destination, and you're left with a headache, nausea and a funny feeling at the base of your spine. This is how all the teleportees felt when they got to the Darkest Faerie's castle, combined with the shock of the sight of the bombed Faerieland.

"Those monsters!" Jazan roared. Nabile went pale. Tomos seemed to gain a new urgency.

"Move move move!" he yelled, pushing them towards the rope. Over his shoulder, he called out "Follow us in five minutes!" to the militia.

The climb up was uneventful, except for Tomos stumbling at one point. When they got to the top, the sight of a broken window greeted them.

"Careful." Jazan whispered. "The last thing we need is for someone to get cut."

Indoors, the bodies of several undead minions and the remains of shadow wraiths were scattered on the floor, along with a beaten up dagger.

"Brynn's doing." Tomos said. "They must have started the attack when the bombs came."

Nabile groaned and closed her eyes. _Please don't let them be dead!_

Tomos seemed to be thinking the same thing. "Come on, we have to go find and help them!"

The three pets ran down many hallways, went through many doors and met many dead ends before encountering a massive undead zombie morthog.

"The Bringer!" Tomos yelled. The Bringer threw back his head and roared. "I'll hold him off, you go find the others!" Tomos called over his shoulder.

"But-" Nabile started to say before Jazan pulled her away. "He knows what he's doing! We need to get going!" Realizing that arguing was pointless, Nabile followed. A few passageways later, they came across a staircase. They started to run up it when a large burst of green light came from behind the door at the top. With the same sinking feeling in the pits of their stomachs, Jazan and Nabile ran the rest of the way up the stairs.

oOo

Have you ever tried to climb up a rope while partially stone? It's not easy. Especially when you know that most of the things at the end of the rope want to kill you. Still, Hanso climbed. He almost fell more then once, but the powerful need to protect Brynn kept him going. At the end of the climb, he was exhausted and had rope burn on his one good hand. Still, he kept going. A window was broken. "Well, that's one way to break in." he said. _Of course I would know._

Climbing slowly through the window, Hanso heard an unusual noise. Realizing quickly that the others were there, he let out a sigh of relief. The feeling quickly went away when he heard the sound of a sword crashing against metal further down the hall. "Brynn!" he called out. The noise of battle continued, and as he turned the corner he saw the kougra in the middle of a swarm of zombies and shadow wraiths. Seeming to ignore the fact that she was hopelessly outnumbered, she still put up a good fight. Already there were many zombies on the floor, and as she stabbed a wraith, it turned into little bits of shadow covering the floor. On and on she fought with a bravery that Hanso had not seen in any other person he had known. He watched in silent awe as she finished off all the other monsters single handedly. However, as she paused to push her hair out of her eyes, the remains of the shadow wraiths combined and formed a massive monster behind her, ready to strike.

"Brynn!" Hanso called out. Brynn looked over at him with a confused expression as the monster raised one hand for its attack. Without thinking, Hanso reached for his dagger and chucked it at the wraith. It let out a cry and burst into flames as the dagger pierced the place where its heart would have been. His dagger clattered to the ground, scorched, bent and partly melted. Brynn turned around and stared silently at the dying creature.

Hanso walked up behind her. Suddenly, he felt very awkward. "So...uh..."

Brynn glared at him. "What were you _thinking_? You should have been down there with the others!"

Hanso was taken aback. "Hang on, didn't I just save your life two seconds ago?"

Brynn shook her head in disgust. "If you didn't distract me in the first place, I could have gotten him on my own!" was her reply.

_Was she always this stubborn? _"But I...you...don't I get a thank you or something?"

Brynn sighed. Her next words stabbed harder than knives. "Yes, thank you Hanso for endangering my life and then expecting thanks for it." Putting her sword back in its sheath, she said "The others are probably here. You can play hero for them all you want, but I can take care of myself." With that, she continued down the hallway.

_I can take care of myself. _For some reason, these words rebounded in Hanso's head as he got over his shock at Brynn's anger. _I've heard that before...Where have I heard that?_

_It's her you idiot! _The logic part of his brain screamed. _You're remembering! You can tell when she's lying, you feel protective of her, now what she's saying is sounding familiar! You remember some things!_

"So...what do I do?"

_Don't let her go!_

Realizing that the voice was right, Hanso sped off after Brynn. "Brynn! Brynn, wait up!"

Sighing, Brynn stopped and said "Hanso, I told you that I can take care of myself."

"Well, when I threw my dagger at that shadow wraith, it got really fucked up. So I'm unarmed. You might be able to take care of yourself, but I need someone to save my ass." he said, giving her one of his usual grins.

Brynn was searching his gaze again. She did this so often that Hanso stopped questioning it. But her expression was strange. "What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing. It's just so weird how you still seem like the Hanso I know when you're really not. Fine, you can come with me, but if we run into more monsters, you must do as I say. If I tell you to hide, hide. If I tell you to to run ahead and leave me, you will leave me. Understood?"

Hanso said "Understood.", knowing fully well that this would never happen.

Brynn sighed again. "It was never like you to follow orders, Hanso, not even when your life depended on it." With that, she continued to walk along with Hanso trailing behind her.

The logic part of Hanso's brain started talking to him again. Hanso was only slightly concerned that his brain talked to him. Side effect of the stone spell or the unstoning spell, he figured.

_Lets try something new._

"What?"

_You've heard of the saying: "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel", right?_

"...Well, I definitely have now. Who said that, anyways?"

_Maya Angelou, but that doesn't matter right now._

"What does, then?"

_You're remembering, Hanso. If the saying is right, look back to the few memories you do have of Brynn, and find the feelings behind them. What have you got to lose?_

Nothing. Absolutely nothing to lose. Hanso racked his brains, thinking back to the one thing he remembered for certain. _I can take care of myself. _A blurry but unmistakable memory jumped out at him. Standing at the top of a steep hill, with Xandra and Brynn, Brynn had said these words. Hanso had felt exasperation and a little let down. Then the next part of the memory played out. Brynn smiled at him, thanked him anyway and called him a hero. Even now, in completely different circumstances, in the Darkest Faerie's castle, Hanso felt the flush of pride, happiness and...something else he couldn't define.

"Where does this go?" Brynn asked him, throwing him back into reality. She was pointing at a door at the top of a staircase.

He recovered quickly. "Only one way to find out." Hanso started up the staircase.

"Hanso! Wait!" Brynn called after him.

"What is it?"

"It just seems too...simple. Didn't you notice how we didn't get attacked the rest of the way here?" Brynn's expression showed uncertainty.

_It's true, _Hanso thought. _Didn't I have this same conversation with Xandra when we went to get the second artefact? It was too easy then too, and look how that ended up. _Out loud, however, Hanso decided to make a joke. "They were probably too scared of us. Me and my stone and you with your sword, too terrifying to even approach!"

Brynn couldn't help but smile. Hanso, making jokes just like before. But the smile disappeared as she took the first step on the staircase.

Hanso held out his hand, trying to reassure her. Brynn took his hand uncertainly. Together, they walked up the remaining stairs and stood facing the doorway. Brynn prickled with unease. Something was wrong...

"On three." Hanso said. "One...two...three!"

Kicking open the door, Hanso and Brynn found themselves face to face with Xandra. The speckled xweetok jumped up but recovered from her shock quickly. "You two!"

"Yeah, it's me." Brynn said as she drew out her sword. "Hanso! Run!" she yelled as Xandra's hands started to glow their familiar green.

"I'm not leaving you here!" Hanso yelled back. "It'll be harder for her to take on the two of us!"

Brynn's reply was cut off by Xandra's first blast. Dodging it, she swung her sword towards the angry xweetok, but her attack was deflected by some sort of shield Xandra cast in front of her. Brynn searched around for an opening, but the shield seemed to be everywhere. That is, until Hanso tackled Xandra from behind, knocking her over. But Hanso's victory was short lived, because a powerful blast of magic threw him across the room and against the far wall. His body made a sickening crunch as it hit the floor.

"Hanso!" Brynn screamed, sounding demented. Forgetting Xandra, she ran across the room over to the fallen ixi. Kneeling beside him, she assessed the damage. He had hit his head pretty hard, and his cut had re-opened and was bleeding profusely. Then Brynn cried in pain as Xandra's following spell hit her hand with her sword in it. The Brightvale blade flashed as it clattered across the floor, out of reach. Xandra then said some unfamiliar spell, and Brynn found that her feet couldn't move. Apparently the same went for Hanso, who pulled himself into a sitting position.

Xandra walked slowly across the room, her hands still glowing. "There's no escape." she said, grinning wickedly. "By the way, I've been _dying_ to try out this new spell of mine. How would you two like to be my test subjects?" After throwing her head back and laughing, she said "Don't bother answering that. Now, this spell takes some time to charge up, so I suggest that you say your goodbyes now."

_Say goodbye? _Suddenly it hit Brynn. They were going to die. They had failed their mission. All hope was lost. "Hanso, before we..." She couldn't say it. She couldn't say "die". "I...have to tell you something...I love you." Brynn started to cry. "You don't have to answer me, I just...wanted you to know."

"Brynn..."

Brynn looked up and saw tears in Hanso's eyes. He blinked and let them fall. Brynn was shocked. Never in her life had she seen him cry.

"Brynn...I wish I could remember." Hanso said. "I really wish that I could."

"Hanso." Brynn whispered. There were millions of things that she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't put them into words.

"Look at me." Hanso commanded. The turquoise eyes met the amber, and Brynn found herself searching his eyes again. She saw pain, sadness and hopelessness, but at the same time, she saw fire, friendship, affection and maybe even...love?

Hanso looked at Brynn. He saw her studying his expression, as was her habit. He hoped that she could see what he wanted her to see. He wanted her to see that he was sorry, sure, but more than that, he wanted her to understand that he, somehow, had grown to love her. It was a quiet sort of love, but he definitely felt something real, something more than that. Hanso reached out his hand and pushed a wave of Brynn's hair away from her face and looked into her gaze. In it, he saw many things that couldn't be said, that couldn't be put into words. But he understood. Brynn understood too. They both smiled. That was the last thing either of them saw before Xandra attacked.

The force of Xandra's blast shattered the windows and bounded off the walls. A burst of green light filled the room. When the effects of the spell went away, Xandra lowered her hands. Hanso and Brynn were nothing more than two piles of ashes on the floor.

For a few seconds, Xandra hardly dared to move. Then a smile crept across her face and she let out a whoop. "I did it!" she cried happily. "Those fools are gone for good! I did it!" Xandra's celebration was cut short, however, by Jazan and Nabile entering the room.

"Xandra!" Jazan cried. Nabile screamed. She had seen the two piles of ashes and had guessed what had happened. She rushed over to them as Xandra charged up, aiming for her. However, a blast of magic narrowly missed Xandra's face, singeing off some of her hair. It was Jazan.

Xandra laughed. "What is it, my son?" she crooned. "Going to kill me too?"

Jazan face was contorted in fury. "I killed my father, I can kill you too! Then after I kill the Darkest Faerie, there will be no one else to be ashamed of in my family!"

Xandra sneered and sent a blast his way. "I'm afraid you are the shame on the family, Jazan. You never did know what was the best for you."

Jazan dodged and returned the blast. "That's because I have a heart, my dear mother."

Nabile gasped. She sat by the ashes and had noticed Brynn's sword in the corner. _It's true then...They're gone. _Nabile wiped some tears from her eyes, then gave up as they became great, shuddering sobs. Her arms fell limply at her sides. The right one brushed a small potion bottle around her utility belt. Nabile calmed down as she recognized the mossy green hue. _The revival potion! Maybe if I..._

Behind her, Jazan and Xandra continued to battle with magic. Jazan saw a flash of silver as he recognized Brynn's sword. Jazan, realizing what Nabile had found out a few moments earlier, turned as green as Xandra's hair. Xandra, noticing her son's discomfort, laughed and said "Figured it out, have you? They're dead, and you will be too." As Xandra was talking, Jazan remembered the magenta potion that he had with him. _That's something I'm saving for Xandra, _Nabile had said. But she had given him the potion, telling him that he'd probably have more luck using it anyway. Suddenly, Jazan formed a plan...

Nabile uncorked the small bottle and poured its contents over the two piles. All she could do now was wait and hope...

Jazan likewise uncorked his bottle and threw the contents in Xandra's direction. _If it hits, it hits. If it misses, then I go with plan B. _Xandra, seeing the contents thrown her way, dodged it. The potion splattered against the far wall, and Xandra, momentarily distracted, turned around to see what had been thrown her way. Taking advantage of this, Jazan reached over and grabbed Brynn's sword. Xandra turned around again smiling wickedly. "Did you really think-" She didn't finish her sentence. Jazan plunged the sword into her chest. Xandra's eyes widened, and she gasped, folded over and fell to the floor, her evil grin frozen into place. She was dead.

Jazan saw this but felt no celebration, only a strange type of grief that had occurred to him when he had killed his father both times before. He was sorry that they had turned out the way they did, that they couldn't have been good. Nabile's sobs jerked him back into awareness. "Nabile?" he asked as he turned around.

Nabile was crying next to two piles of damp ashes. "I tried!" she said between tears. "I really tried! But they're gone! They're gone..." Nabile stopped talking as she gave into her sobs. Jazan felt grief, real grief this time. Brynn with her bravery and warmth. Even Hanso with his humor and trickery. Gone... Nothing more than ashes. Jazan knelt beside his wife, and grieved silently. They were silent for a long while, before a dark-sounding voice asked "Are you both quite done?"

Jazan and Nabile found themselves in the presence of the Darkest Faerie. The Faerie looked angry. Jazan wondered briefly why before he remembered: Xandra was the Darkest Faerie's daughter, and he was her grandson. Indeed the Faerie was looking at the still body of Xandra laying a few feet away from them. "What a waste." the Darkest Faerie muttered. Then she lifted a hand and Jazan and Nabile felt themselves pulled to their feet. "You have crossed the wrong person. I warned that all resistances would be destroyed, and I don't have reservations for family." The Darkest Faerie lifted her other hand, which took on the same glow as Xandra had used.

"Wait!" Nabile cried. The Faerie lowered her hand.

"That's right." she said quietly. "I forgot to let you have your last words. To make sure that there's no distractions..." The door slammed shut and locked itself. The Faerie looked at Nabile. "Go ahead." she said.

Nabile didn't hesitate. "Jazan, I wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn't know how and then you had to deal with Scordrax, and then I realized that you wouldn't let me come if you knew, and Tomos told me that I should tell you if I knew that we weren't going to make it back-"

"What? What is it?" Jazan yelled.

"Jazan...Jazan, I'm pregnant."

A short silence seemed to follow as this sank in. Then Jazan asked "What?"

Nabile looked purely defeated. "I found out this morning. That's why I was eating all that food, I was afraid I lost the baby after skipping all those meals. But I guess it doesn't matter now."

Jazan felt a tear in his eye. He brushed it away, but it was replaced by more. Soon Jazan was crying, which was something he hadn't done in many years. His guyliner smudged and his body shook as he let out his devastation.

Nabile wasn't finished. "I'm glad it ended like this though." Jazan looked up in surprise. The Darkest Faerie looked stunned too. Nabile held her head high as she said with all the venom she could muster "I don't want to see any child of mine grow up in a world dominated by that crazy bitch."

The Darkest Faerie smiled suddenly. She walked over to Nabile and stroked her cheek with one hand. Nabile didn't budge, though she made sure that her expression showed that she didn't want to be touched, especially by the Darkest Faerie. Jazan screamed "Don't touch her!"

"Shut up Jazan!" Nabile said harshly. Jazan did, too, taken aback by Nabile's sudden loss of kindness.

"It's a shame." the Darkest Faerie said, still with that smile on her face. "Pretty, fiery girl like you having to die."

Nabile didn't flinch. "I don't have to die. All you have to do is stop what you're doing!"

The Darkest Faerie gave a small chuckle. "We both know that I have no intention of that." Stepping back, she lifted her hand as it started to glow again. "As I kill you both, the resistance against me shall end."

Jazan regained his composure. "There are many things in the world that cannot die..." His voice trailed off.

Nabile finished for him. "And resistance is one of those things." She took Jazan's hand. "I love you, Jazan."

Jazan smiled as he said, "I love you too, Nabile."

The Darkest Faerie's spell took considerably shorter to charge up than Xandra's, and it also had less effects. Nevertheless, Jazan, Nabile and their unborn child had joined Hanso and Brynn as piles of ash on the floor.

"Such a shame..." the Darkest Faerie said again. She then walked over to Xandra's body and picked it up. She left the room without a glance back.

For a while, nothing happened. Then, Tomos crashed into the room and slammed the door behind him. He was bruised, he had a broken arm in a makeshift sling that he made out of some curtain, and he had a large scar over his right eyelid, sealing it shut. Gasping for breath, he observed the room around him. He noticed the broken windows, the potion staining the wall and the ashes on the floor. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the small pool of Xandra's blood. "What happened here?" he asked himself. Then his eye lighted on a mirror on one of the walls. He had never seen one before, but he had heard many legends about them. It was a Mirror of Time, a mirror that could show what had happened and what will happen if the right words were said. He went over to it and said "Eram contibus", the words he had heard that showed the past. His beaten up reflection turned hazy, and gave way to a picture of Xandra, alone in the room. Tomos watched silently as he saw what had happened: Hanso and Brynn's attempt to kill Xandra, Xandra killing them, Jazan killing Xandra with Brynn's sword, Nabile's failed attempt to bring back Hanso and Brynn from the dead, the Darkest Faerie, Nabile's confession, Nabile and Jazan's death...

When the mirror returned to normal, Tomos slumped against the wall. Tears ran from his eyes. "They're dead. The Darkest Faerie is still alive. We failed..." He gave into his tears and sat there crying for a few moments. All distinguishable words that came from him were "It's my fault... It was my plan..."

oOo

As the years went by, Neopia tried to accustom themselves to the Darkest Faerie's rule. One of her first acts after bombing Faerieland to the ground was to personally execute all other faeries, except for a handful of Dark Faeries. In the end, the only faeire that slipped from her grasp was a certain one that had woken up in and had evacuated a hospital in Neopia Central.

In front of the Darkest Faerie's castle, a monument was dedicated to Xandra, her daughter, who was said to have killed a few of the most dangerous resistance members. At least, that was what was said on the plaque on her statue. In one corner of the castle was a room where the members of the Darkest Faerie's family were represented in large portraits. At the end of the hall was a small note acknowledging Jazan as her grandson, and Nabile and her child weren't mentioned at all.

Though the Darkest Faerie took almost every measure possible to silence any resistance, there were still rumors that one was still going around. Most stories were about a red lupe with a bandana covering his right eye sabotaging various events and buildings dedicated to the Darkest Faerie around the world.

The lupe, as you might have guessed, was indeed Tomos. Nabile and Jazan's last words, about how resistance didn't die, had stayed with him. He had set up and underground resistance with the remainder of the militia, various others against the Darkest Faerie, and, possibly the most important of all, Nightsteed and Fyora, the ex-Faerie Queen, though she couldn't use her powers without revealing their location. The old Ogrin had died; he had been stabbed on the way to find the others.

In urns on a shelf in their underground headquarters were the ashes of their fallen comrades. There was some dispute about those; some people thought that they would have wanted their ashes spread out across the world. Others argued that they wouldn't have wanted their ashes in a world ruled by the Darkest Faerie, where everywhere there were dark skies, daily executions and pets forced to do the bidding of their overlord. The matter was settled by a decision that a handful of ashes would be let out into the world and the rest would stay in their urns. The various artists in the resistance had made beautiful portraits of Hanso, Brynn, Jazan and Nabile, but Tomos didn't like looking at them. He said that, though the pictures were very well done, they could never capture Hanso's slyness, Brynn's courage, Jazan's strength or Nabile's kindness. They especially couldn't get the growing life that had still been inside Nabile.

Tomos removed his bandanna, showing a large scar that almost completely prevented him from opening his eye. "This is the truth." he said, pointing at it, addressing the many people in front of him. "Most people see a scar. Others see a story behind it. But only I see it as a reason to keep fighting. I got this scar trying to protect these people, but I failed. I see it every day, and it reminds me that I can't let their deaths go without doing as much as I can to make sure that this happens to no one else. This is why I started this movement. You all have your own reasons for joining...I just want you to know that you are not alone. It may take us weeks, months, most likely years to overthrow the Darkest Faerie...And most of us may not be alive to see it happen. But we will try! If we don't try, we may as well just sit on her doorstep and ask to be killed!"

As the people around him started to cheer, Tomos found himself looking at the portraits of his friends. All of a sudden, they seemed to take an almost alive quality. Tomos could have sworn that he saw them smile...Nabile's even seemed to wink at him. But then again, that could have just been the tears in his eyes.


	36. Chapter 34

_This is Echo, returning from my uninspiredness (is that a word?) Okay, there may have been some confusion over the sad ending. It was the sad ending written by Shadow, not the ending, because every story deserves two endings. If I could change the endings to...most stories that I know, I would. So here comes the happy, Echo-written ending, starting off from the end of chapter 33._

_Warning: This chapter has blood, violence and minor gayness._

Chapter 34 or Happy Ending Part I

_And then, this happens..._

Shadow: Wow, I gotta say, that sad ending was tough to write. But it made it on Fanfiction!

Armin: And with only a variety of depressions, it was pretty successful too!

Me: *_walks in_*

Shadow: Echo, people read my ending! And they reviewed it!

Me: That's great Shadow!

Shadow: ...Echo, are you feeling okay?

Me: Yeah, why?

Shadow: I was expecting you to say something more along the lines of "What did you expect, genius?"

Me: But that's mean!

Armin: Um...

Me: I read your ending too, Shadow, and I thought it was amazing that you could write like that! I couldn't write anything like that if I tried!

Shadow: Echo, are you sure that you're okay?

Me: Fine, just fine.

Shadow: That wasn't sarcasm...HOLY SHIT THAT WASN'T SARCASM!

Armin: What's going on?

Shadow: She's _never_ this nice, _especially_ in the morning!

Armin: Echo, what were you doing this morning?

Me: Well, I woke up, got dressed, brushed my teeth and hair, ate breakfast and took my meds.

Shadow: ...Echo, you don't take medication.

Me: Hm...I guess that I didn't really think that through, did I?

Shadow: YOU TOOK SOME RANDOM DRUG JUST LYING AROUND?

Armin: She's unusually calm and nice, maybe she took some Ritalin.

Shadow: More like a whole fucking _tranquilizer_! How do we get her back? This story's gonna be _straightforward_ with her like this!

Armin: Um, we could-

Shadow: *_throws water on me_*

Me: Shadow, that was not very nice. But I forgive you-

Shadow: AH!

Armin: If this doesn't work, I don't know what will. *_frying pan whacks me*_

Me: OW! WHAT THE CRAP, ARMIN? WHAT THE CRAP?

Shadow: It worked! Echo's unstable again! *_happy dance_*

Armin: Isn't it kinda ironic that we're celebrating that fact?

Shadow: Who cares? This is _Echo_ we're talking about!

Me: *_squeezing the water out of my hair_* And Shadow, your ending was good. But it was crazy depressing. I don't know where you get your writing skills from, but the depression is definitely from being around me.

Shadow: Still a bit strange, but _definitely_ more like Echo. Wait, are you going to cage me up with the other Brynnso fangirls?

Me: Nah, that cage is for the Brynnso fangirls that tried to kill me only.

Shadow: Whew!

Me: Oh, and thanks for letting me use your ending as the base for mine. This one will be back to its normal Echo-craziness! Now, lets get this thing going!

_Nabile's in da lab..._

Nabile: Dammit what am I missing? *_throws random objects around in a fit of rage*_

Jazan: Nabile, honey, I think you're overworked...

Nabile: WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU COME FROM?

Jazan: The door...

Nabile: DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME! *_starts growling and foaming at the mouth*_

Jazan: ...Yeah, so it's dinnertime-

Nabile: Dinner? *_returns to normal*_ Why didn't you say so? Let's go! *_drags Jazan by the arm out of the lab*_

Jazan: That was considerably easier than I thought...

_In da dining room..._

Waiter #1: And here is a soup made of mummified peppers ground into a powder...

Tomos: *_to self_* Um, ew...

Waiter #2: And a salad served with Pyramibread croutons...

Nabile: *_to self_* Weird...

Waiter #3: And a rack of Sphinx Links marinated in spices native to the Desert...

Jazan: *_to self_* Now they're just making this stuff up...

Waiter #4: And for dessert, cuts of Desert fruit and some chocolate fondue-

Nabile: CHOCOLATE!

Jazan: Um...

Nabile: I HAVEN'T HAD CHOCOLATE IN FOREVER!

Tomos: *_facepalm_* Oh God, not again...

_One meal later..._

Tomos: Nabile, could you have at least, I don't know, waited until we had some chocolate before eating it with a spoon?

Nabile: *_stuffed with chocolate_* You snooze, you lose, pal. Besides, some fruit will do you good, both of you have been putting on some weight-

Jazan: It's muscle! We've been working out everyday!

Nabile: _*rolls eyes_* Excuses, excuses. *_wipes chocolate from her mouth*_ So when do we attack, huh?

Jazan: Dunno, we haven't picked a day yet.

Nabile: Let's pick now. Tomos, will you do the honors?

Tomos: Fine. *_picks up dart and throws it at the calendar_* We should have attacked last Tuesday.

Jazan: That's not right, try again.

Tomos: *_throws second dart_* Tomorrow.

Nabile: Tomorrow! I gotta get back to my potions- *_falls asleep at the table*_

Me: Fail.

Jazan: *_sigh_* Better tomorrow than never.

Tomos: I'll go get some sleep.

Jazan: *_picks up Nabile_* Ditto.

_And they leave..._

_And on the other side of the continent..._

Hanso: MOTHERFUCKER SON OF A BITCH!

Brynn: What is it now?

Hanso: That branch scraped me!

Brynn: *_facepalm_*

Hanso: Ah! Tripping! *_trips_*

Brynn: *_pulls him back up*_

Hanso: I'm hungry!

Brynn: Jesus Christ, you're so _needy_ today!

Hanso: *_shrugs_*

_Later..._

Brynn: Free of these woods at last!

Hanso: Now what?

Brynn: Meh, I'm tired. Let's just go to sleep.

Hanso: Alright. *_throws his coat at Brynn_*

Brynn: What was that for?

Hanso: I can't feel cold...mostly. You need it more.

Brynn: That's so thoughtful...but it's sleeveless...

Hanso: Well, try using it as a blanket. *_lays down*_

Brynn: Right.

_The next day..._

Jazan: *_wakes up*_ Hey Nabile, time to wake- she's already up.

_In da lab...again..._

Shadow: Echo, why are you writing "da" instead of "the"?

Me: Don't question it.

Shadow: Right. You're Echo. Just don't question anything.

Jazan: Nabile? You miss breakfast again? Nabile- HOLY!

Nabile: *_stuffing her face with food_* Oh hey, Jazan. I've been getting all these _really_ weird cravings lately.

Jazan: Hm...cravings...where have I heard that before?

Nabile: Oh, and I finished the potions.

Jazan: That's great!

Nabile: IKR, now I can sit around and relax and have fun before I go risk my life! Coolness!

Jazan: So what're these? *_points at potions*_

Nabile: Green are revival, the pink is a little surprise for Xandra.

Jazan: So, if that's all-

Nabile: Oh right! One more thing-

Tomos: _*slams door open_* HELP!

Jazan: Aw shit, what now?

Tomos: Fire! Fire in the city!

Jazan: Why are you telling me this? Do I look like a fireman to you?

Tomos: You're the only one who knows how to handle Scordrax!

Jazan: ...Scordrax?

Tomos: Who do you think _started_ the fires?

Jazan: Random crazy arsonist dude.

Tomos: ...ARE YOU GONNA HELP OR NOT?

Jazan: *_groan_* Fine.

Nabile: I'll stay here. It's nice and cozy in my lab.

_Back to the others..._

Brynn: *_depressed_*

Hanso: *_uncomfortable_*

Me: *_gives Brynn antidepressants*_

Brynn: *_happy_*

Hanso: You know, my arm hurts like a bitch.

Brynn: Well, it's about three times its normal size, and there's some crap oozing out, and-

Hanso: TMI!

Brynn: I'll clean it for you! *_searches through bag*_

Hanso: Is that a good idea, 'cuz you're kinda drugged...

Brynn: That's only for electrical equipment and driving. This is gonna sting a bit... *_cleans cut*_

Hanso: AH! IT BURNS! OH, THE AGONY! THE BLOODY DRIPPING AGONY! THE TORTURE! AH-

Brynn: Hanso, could you shut up? I'm done already.

Hanso: You are? _*looks at his bandaged arm*_ That was quick...

Brynn: I'm so hungry...

Me: *_gives them a picnic basket*_

Brynn: ALRIGHT!

Hanso: *_grabs some food*_

Brynn and Hanso: *_eating_*

_5 minutes later..._

Brynn and Hanso: *_still eating*_

Me: Planning on any conversation?

Brynn: Nope.

Me: Why not?

Hanso: What is there to talk about?

Me: Uh...

Hanso: Can we get this story moving?

Brynn: Alright, alright. *_packs up the basket*_

_And back again..._

Jazan: Scordrax! Almost Gummy Grape Rat! *_holds out (almost) Gummy Grape Rat*_

Scordrax: _*stops and takes it, then goes to sleep*_

Jazan: Idiot, he falls for the sedative in the rat every time!

Me: But the city's burning.

Armin: *_takes out fire extinguisher*_ On it. *_leaves_*

Tomos: You do know what this means, right?

Jazan: What?

Tomos: We have to interview more people.

Jazan: _*R+ swearing_*

_Some time later..._

Tomos: *_walkin' down da hall_* Christ, people just don't know when to quit signing up for the army!

Nabile: *_in the pantry_* Hey, Tomos. Just getting some more food.

Tomos: Wow, Nabile, you're _really_ overdoing it with the food...

Nabile: Well, I'm eating for two now.

Tomos: "Eating for two"...I've heard that from somewhere...where have I heard that?

Nabile: Oh right! I need to send the potion to wake up Fyora! *_leaves_*

Tomos: Hey Nabile! You forgot your food! Nabile- aw screw it, I'll just bring it.

_In da lab, (upside down exclamation point)otra vez!_

Nabile: *_sends the potion away_* M'kay, that's done.

Tomos: So, uh, we are attacking the castle tonight, so...

Nabile: …

Tomos: …

Nabile: *_holds out hand_* It's been a pleasure knowing you, Tomos.

Tomos: *_shakes Nabile's hand_* As to you.

Me: Why are you acting like that?

Tomos: In case we die.

_Um...and back again...too many transitions..._

_At the Darkest Faerie's castle..._

Hanso: We're here!

Brynn: Sweet!

Hanso: Awesome!

Brynn: Cool!

Hanso: How do we get up there?

Brynn: ...AW HELL!

Hanso: *_covers Brynn's mouth with his hand*_ Do you _want_ them to know that we're here?

Brynn: *_foreheadpalm_* Of course! We could use the rope to get up there!

Hanso: Great! ...How're we gonna get the rope up there?

Brynn: ...AW HEL-

Hanso: Not again!

Brynn: All we have left is a tracker, the spearhead you found, the rope and this weapon...thing.

Hanso: Looks like a harpoon gun. I don't suppose we have any harpoons, do we?

Brynn: No...WAIT!

Hanso: What?

Brynn: I'm having a Macgyver moment! Do you still have that spearhead with you?

Hanso: Yeah, right here. *_spearhead is suddenly in his hand*_

Brynn: ...How'd you...?

Hanso: I'm an ixi, remember? I pull stuff out of my ass.

Brynn: Ew... *_takes spearhead with her fingertips. Goes to a tree, breaks off branch. Ties knots into the rope, ties it to the end of the branch*_

Hanso: *_watches_*

Brynn: Now all I need is something to attach the spearhead to the branch... Oh, I know! *_takes her hair out of its ponytail and shakes it out*_

Hanso: *_mutters to self*_ Damn, that's some sexy, sexy hair...

Brynn: What? *_ties the spearhead to the branch*_

Hanso: I said, "Is that a makeshift harpoon?"

Brynn: Huh, that's nothing like what I thought I heard you say...

Hanso: So is it?

Brynn: Yeah. _*aims and shoots at the castle*_

_The harpoon sticks and crap..._

Brynn: Alright!

_Bomb hits Faerieland, yadda yadda yadda..._

Shadow: It looks like you didn't enjoy my ending so much...

Me: Nah, it's just that everyone already knows what happens because they read your ending and now I'm basically just repeating it, with my own style.

Brynn: Faerieland's being bombed! *_panic mode*_

Hanso:_ *frying pan whacks her*_

Brynn: _*calm now_* Thanks. *_walks toward the rope*_

Hanso: What are you doing?

Brynn: Saving the day, the same old shit. *_jams tracker into the ground*_

Hanso: Brynn, you aren't gonna...

Brynn: *_starts climbing up the rope_*

Hanso: AW CRAP! *_goes to rope_* Here goes nothing... *_tries to climb up and falls*_

Me: This may take a while...

_And back again..._

Me: Christ, Shadow, did you have to transition that much?

Shadow: It made the most sense!

Tomos: Okay, is everyone ready?

Some guy in the militia: Define ready.

Tomos: Everyone get in contact!

Everyone: _*gets in contact*_

Tomos: And let's go! *_uses teleporter*_

_One trip later..._

Nabile: Ugh, I feel sick. But what else is new?

Jazan: Hm...You regularly feel sick...that means something, what does it mean?

Nabile: Are you people _really_ that stupid? I'm-

_Bomb cuts off her sentence..._

Tomos: Move move move!

_And they all go up the rope..._

Jazan: Broken window! Don't get cut!

Emo guy in the militia: But that's where all the fun is!

Jazan: …

Emo guy: What?

_I'm not even gonna bother with the rest..._

Hanso: BRYNN? BRYNN? BRYNN? BRY-

Me: It would be an idea to actually look for her.

Hanso: Right. *_walks down the halls_* Marco!

_No answer._

Hanso: Marco!

_Silence._

Hanso: Marco!

_Fight noises at the end of the hall._

Hanso: Marco!

Brynn: Polo!

Hanso: Brynn! *_runs and sees her fighting zombies and wraiths*_

Brynn: *_epically battling with her hair flying around*_

Hanso: *_mutters to self*_ What a hot piece of ass...

Me: *_backs away slowly, stops, wonders why I'm backing away slowly and backs away quickly*_

Brynn: What? I didn't catch that.

Hanso: I said, "How many of them are there?"

Brynn: *_still fighting_* Wow, Hanso, that sounds _nothing_ like what I thought you said.

Hanso: Well, what did you think I said?

Brynn: *_blushes slightly_* Um...

Hanso: Well?

Brynn: (evasively) It's just the sounds that I heard you say didn't sound like what you said that you said.

Hanso: ...What?

Brynn: Aw, FUCK THIS! *_just kills all the zombies and wraiths in fast-forward mode*_

Hanso: *_mutters to self_* Got some spice too...

Me: Someone shut him up.

Armin: *_gets out duct tape*_

Hanso: I'll shut up!

Brynn: You don't have to run around after me, you know. I can take care of myself.

Hanso: But I'm part stone! I need someone to take care of me! Where's that "maternal instinct" that I hear every woman has?

Brynn: Hanso, you were never this sexist before...or needy...

Me: Part of his brain-stoning.

Brynn: *_sigh_* Alright fine. You can come with me.

_Walking montage #11_

Brynn: (singing to "Inside Out" by Eve 6) I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rinds, but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside.

Hanso: (singing) Swallow my doubt, turn it inside out. Find nothing but faith in nothing.

Me: (singing) Want to put my tender heart in a blender, watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion. Rendezvous then I'm through with you.

Brynn: ...These lyrics are weird too.

Hanso: Hey yeah!

Me: Hm...Should we care?

Brynn: Nah.

_Staircase..._

Brynn: That sounded strangely ominous...

Hanso: And the fact that we're in the Darkest Faerie's castle at night and haven't been attacked since that last fight on the way here isn't?

Brynn: Good point.

Caged Brynnso fangirls: Don't go up the stairs-

Armin: SHUT UP! *_takes out electric cattle prod*_

Brynn: ...Anyways, up the stairs...

_Up the stairs..._

Brynn: We kick open the door on three. One...two...

Hanso: *_kicks the door down*_

Xandra: *_in the room_* What the hell?

Brynn: Hanso! I said on _three_! Not _two_!

Hanso: You were taking too long!

Xandra: *_magic hands*_

Brynn: Shit! *_takes out sword_*

Hanso: Sweet! Battle time! OH CRAP! _*dodges Xandra's blast*_

Xandra: Yeah, maybe I should have kept my glasses, my eyesight isn't what it used to be...

Brynn: *_samurai attack*_

Xandra: *_blocks it with force field*_

Hanso: *_tackles Xandra from behind*_

Xandra: OOF! *_falls over_*

Hanso: Ha! That was way too eas- *_gets thrown to the other side of the room*_

Brynn: HANSO!

Hanso: _*slams against wall_* Ow...

Brynn: *_runs over to him_* Are you okay?

Hanso: *_eyebrow raise*_

Brynn: Right. Stupid question.

Hanso: Well, I'm bleeding again, I hit my head, and my memory's still fucked.

Xandra: *_zaps_*

Brynn: Ow! My hand! *_watches her sword slide to the corner of the room_* ...AW SHIT!

Xandra: MWAHAHAHAH! Prepare to die, fools! *_charges up*_

Brynn: Hanso, I love you.

Hanso: I find you incredibly attractive, Brynn.

Brynn: That'll have to work for now. *_panic hug*_

Xandra: Goodbye! I'll see you in hell! *_prepares to fire*_

Jazan: *_kicks down the door*_

Xandra: What the...

Brynn and Hanso: Jazan!

Jazan: Xandra! *_throws the pink potion at her*_

Xandra: _*covered in potion_* WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?

Nabile: _*comes in the room panting_* I really shouldn't run up stairs in my condition.

Jazan: Condition...condition...where have I heard that before?

Brynn: What's happening to Xandra?

Xandra: *_reverse aging. Slowly grows shorter, changes from Speckled to Magma to Pink to Darigan to Royal and finally ends up as a newborn yellow Xweetok, sound asleep_*

Me: Aw...

Everyone: *_looks at me weird*_

Me: What?

Nabile: Are you _forgetting_ who this _is_?

Me: It is a baby, who can be raised differently and grow to be a lovable plot character, just like all of you!

Everyone: _*acting modest*_

Shadow: *_whispers to me_* Nice use of flattery.

Me: *_whispers back*_ Works every time!

Brynn: Where's Tomos?

Jazan: We had a run in with a few zombies, he told us to go on ahead.

Nabile: Oh right! I have that potion for you Hanso!

Hanso: What?

Nabile:_ *takes out potion*_ If you drink this, the stoning will go away and you will remember everything.

Hanso: _*takes it*_

Nabile: A little warning: drink it all at once.

Hanso: Why?

Nabile: If you stop drinking it, you won't want to continue. It tastes like a mixture of Rainbow Dung and Morthog piss.

Hanso: Ew...

Nabile: Just drink.

Hanso: *_shudders, begins to drink. He kinda coughs, chokes a bit, his eyes water etc. but he finishes it*_

Brynn: Nothing's happening!

Nabile: Wait look!

_A part of Hanso's head is starting to revert back to normal..._

Nabile: It's working!

Hanso: *_arm is back to normal, head is almost*_

Brynn: Are you feeling okay?

Hanso: I have this horrible taste in my mouth.

Nabile: The potion's fault.

Hanso: *_back to normal*_

Everyone: *_crowds around him_*

Hanso: *_rapid eye movement and starts to yell*_

Brynn: What's happening?

Nabile: He's getting all his memories back at once. It's not very pleasant, is it?

_After a short while..._

Hanso: *_blinks, stands up*_

Brynn: Hanso...do you remember?

Hanso: _*eyes narrow*_ Vividly. *_walks over to corner with Brynn's sword and picks it up*_

Jazan: What are you doing?

Hanso: *_walking towards Brynn with sword in hand_* Something that should have been done a long time ago...

Brynn: Hanso, what's going on?

Nabile and Jazan: *_frozen in shock*_

Hanso: *_raises sword*_

Brynn: *_screams_*

Me: And now it's time for...A Useless Interruption!

_Applause_

Caged Brynnso fangirls: What are you _doing_?

Me: Shut up. Now, Shadow and I will discuss home-ownership.

_Applause_

Caged Brynnso fangirls: What _is_ this?

Me: Armin...

Armin: _*takes the cattle prod*_

Caged Brynnso fangirls: *_shut up_*

Me: So, Shadow, what do you think about home-ownership?

Shadow: Well...I don't. It's a fun word to yell out randomly in public, but it's not a topic I'm interested in.

Me: Me neither. So let's just get back to the story. Where was I?

Shadow: Hanso was about to stab Brynn.

Me: Right.

Hanso: *_raises sword_*

Brynn: *_screams_*

Hanso: *_leans arm back...and stabs the Darkest Faerie over Brynn's shoulder*_

Brynn: *_turns around*_

TDF: *_sword in chest_* SON OF A BITCH! *_falls to the ground*_

Jazan: ...So _that's_ what that was all about!

Hanso: Hell yeah!

TDF: Pain...so much pain...dying slowly...help...

Me: You want to die quicker?

TDF: Please!

Me: Are you sure?

TDF: Yes!

Me: You won't like how it happens...

TDF: I don't care! Just kill me now!

Me: Alright lady, you asked for it...

King Altador: *_crashes through the door_* There you are!

TDF: ...Crap.

Altador: You will pay for betraying my trust! *_takes the sword out of TDF's chest and cuts off her head*_

_Blood splatters everywhere and the guts-_

Shadow: Echo? Can we stop with the imagery?

Me: You people are no fun.

Nabile: Gross! *_throws up_* Well, there goes breakfast...

Me:_ *gives her mouthwash*_

Altador: *_picks up TDF's head and crashes out the window*_

Jazan: o.0

Hanso: That was weird...

Me: Shadow, romantic scene.

Shadow: *_takes over the narration as I go to get some doughnuts*_

Brynn: Hanso...

Hanso: Hey sweetheart. *_grins_*

_They run to meet each other halfway. Brynn wraps her arms around him and he puts one hand on her back and the other in her hair and they have their first kiss on the mouth._

Caged Brynnso fangirls: _*cheer, whistle, squeal and cry in happiness_*

Nabile: Aw...that's sweet.

Jazan: *_uncomfortable_*

Me: *_comes back with the doughnuts and sees Hanso and Brynn and the fangirls*_ I see you've been doing your work.

Shadow: Just trying to keep the fangirls happy.

Me: Well, don't make them _too_ happy. The last thing I need is a bunch of fangirl happiness all over the new rug. *_takes over*_

Tomos: *_crashes in_* What did I miss? *_sees TDF's headless body, Jazan looking uncomfortable, Nabile looking happy and Hanso and Brynn glued by the mouth_* Nevermind, I don't want to know...

Jazan: _*still uncomfortable_* Um, when you two are finished-

Hanso: *_breaks away_* Oh, we aren't even close to being finished, are we Brynn?

Brynn: Nope!

Me: Too bad, we have other fangirls to please.

Hanso: What?

Me: And now, for the Janso fangirls...

Shadow: Janso? That exists?

Me: I saw it on the TFR boards, so I guess so.

Hanso: There ain't no way in hell that I'm kissing _Jazan_!

Me: And that's why I narrate.

Jazan: This is so stupid, why can't we just-

_Jazan and Hanso shut up, go to each other and kiss._

Brynn and Nabile: o.0

Tomos: Now _that_ is gay.

Janso fangirls: *_cheer and whistle*_

Jazan and Hanso: *_break away. R+ swearing follows*_

Me: And now for the Handra fangirls-

Hanso: NO! IT WAS WEIRD ENOUGH WITH JAZAN, THERE'S NO WAY I'M KISSING XANDRA!

Me: She's just a baby now, kiss her forehead.

Hanso: *_picks up Baby Xandra_* She tried to kill me five minutes ago...

Handra fangirls: Just do it!

Hanso: *_kisses Baby Xandra's forehead_*

Handra fangirls: *_cheer_*

Nabile: Speaking of babies, I don't think there's a better time to say this...Jazan, I'm pregnant!

Jazan: ...What?

Nabile: Found out this morning. Isn't it wonderful?

Nazan fangirls: *_squeal_* She's pregnant!

Jazan: Nabile, that's great! ...Wait, the baby is _mine_, right?

Nabile: What was your first clue, smartass?

Jazan: *_takes Nabile and starts kissing her*_

Nazan fangirls: *_basically pissing themselves*_

Jazan and Nabile: *_start to make out*_

Me: This is weird...

Tomos: *_to Hanso_* Don't you _hate _it when people just start making out in public?

Hanso: I know, that was more of Jazan's tongue than I needed to see.

Tomos: Don't people understand that we don't want to see them? That it makes us uncomfortable?

Brynn: *_sneaks up from behind and starts massaging Hanso's shoulders_* Hanso... *_giggles_*

Hanso: ...Hey Tomos, do you mind taking Baby Xandra for a moment?

Tomos: Well, yeah-

Hanso: *_gives him the baby_* Thanks man. *_turns around to Brynn_* So, uh...

Brynn: Kiss me, you sexy son of a bitch. *_starts to make out with Hanso*_

Caged Brynnso fangirls: *_go crazy*_

Me: Goddammit! Not on the rug!

Shadow and Armin: *_start kissing*_

Me: Don't make me get the fire hose.

Shadow and Armin: *_stop_*

Tomos: *_standing with baby*_ I don't want to see this.

Me: Come into my office, I have doughnuts and cards!

_Some time later..._

Me: _*eating doughnut_* Who's turn is it?

Shadow: Mine. *_looks out window_* They're still at it.

Tomos: _*also eating_* Why don't you just stop them?

Me: *_shrugs_* Let them have their moment. The fangirls too. Got any threes, Armin?

Armin: Go Fish.

Me: _*takes card_*

Fangirls: *_squeal louder than before*_

Me: What now?

Armin: *_looks out window_* Nabile has Jazan against the wall, and Hanso and Brynn are rolling around on the floor.

Me: ...Alright, that's enough. Tomos, take Xandra and push that red button over there on the wall. They'll stop after that.

Tomos: *_takes Xandra and leaves, pushes the button*_

_Red lights flash and a voice says "Self Destruct Sequence activated. You have ten minutes to evacuate."_

Jazan, Nabile, Hanso and Brynn: *_break apart_*

Tomos: Come on! Move!

_They all run for it..._

_At the edge of the cloud..._

Everyone: *_falls off because they forgot they were on a cloud_* AAAHHH!

Freed Air Faeries: *_lower them down gently*_

Jazan: Thanks.

Air Faerie: Fyora sent us this message. *_gives it to them*_

Message: Greetings. I have woken up in a hospital in Neopia Central, thanks to the potion sent by Nabile. I have returned to Brightvale, where I will be expecting you, so I may congratulate and thank you. Dutifully yours, Fyora.

Jazan: We have to go back to Brightvale?

Hanso: Apparently so.

Jazan: But...but the Desert! :(

Tomos: Fyora's expecting us in Brightvale, let's get going!

_Walking montage #12_

Me: *_plays "Audience of One" by Rise Against*_

Brynn: (singing) I can still remember, the words and what they meant. As we etched them with our fingers, in years of wet cement.

Hanso: (singing) Days blurred into each other, though everything seemed clear. We cruised along at half-speed, but then we shifted gears.

Me: (singing) We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns. But even then we should have stayed.

Everyone: (singing) But we ran away, now all my friends are gone. Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved. Run away. What are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one. Where have they gone?

Tomos: (singing) Identities assume us, as nine and five add up. Synchronizing watches to the seconds that we lost.

Nabile: (singing) And I looked up and saw you, I know that you saw me. We froze both for a moment, in empathy.

Jazan: (singing) I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug. You gave my emptiness away.

Everyone: (singing) But you ran away, now all my friends are gone. Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved. Run away. What are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one. Where have they gone?

Shadow: (singing) We're all okay until the day we're not. The surface shines while the inside rots.

Armin: (singing) We raced the sunset and we almost won. We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on.

Everyone: (singing) We ran away, now all my friends are gone. Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved. Run away. What are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one. Where have they gone?

Shadow: You know, I think that was the first time we've sang a song all the way through to the end.

Me: Yeah. It was nice. We should do this more often!

Tomos: *_points_* Look! It's Brightvale!

Brynn: We sure got here fast...

Hanso: And how did we cross the sea?

Me: Never underestimate the power of a walking montage.


	37. Chapter 35

_Hey it's Echo. I'm here to clear something up: NO ONE FUCKED IN THE LAST CHAPTER! It was just a really crazy makeout session which made everyone uncomfortable. I do not write porn. Got it? Good._

Chapter 35 or Happy Ending Part II

Me: Sorry for the short chapter.

_In the land of books and stained glass..._

Brynn: I'm home! There's that tree! *_hugs the tree*_ And the bookstore! _*hugs the bookstore...or at least she tries to_* And the grass! *_tries to hug the ground_*

Jazan: Um...

Nabile: She's emotional, Jazan.

Brynn: *_still trying to hug the ground*_

Tomos: *_pokes her with a stick*_

Brynn: What?

Tomos: Can we get going?

Hanso: To the castle!

_Ancient Batman cartoon transition..._

Brynn: The castle! _*tries to hug the castle*_

Jazan: *_facepalm_* Not again...

Nabile: *_pulls a crowbar out of her ass*_ Someone use this.

Me: Nabile, no one is going to use that, you do know that right?

Nabile: Fine! I'll do it!

Brynn: _*does not want to be touched by said crowbar_* I'm done!

_In the castle..._

Tomos: Fyora!

Brynn: King Hagan!

Hagan: Look, I don't mean to not sound like my normal self but... I woke up a few days ago and found out that IT'S THE FUCKING MONTH OF RUNNING! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

Me: Month of Running = March

Fyora: I would also like to hear of your story.

Nabile: Not to be rude or anything, Fyora, but you sound way more queen-like than the last time we saw you...

Fyora: Well, I was at the Faerie Festival. Even faeries like to pass the occasional joint around now and then.

Everyone: o.0

Me: Well, I will save you all from having to tell your stories by showing you.

Tomos: How?

Me: With this amazing website called Fanfiction. _*gets out laptop*_

_A while of reading later..._

Jazan: Wait...Chapter 35...is that what's happening right now?

Me: Yep!

Jazan: So, anything we say is going to show up here?

Hanso: Apparently not, this conversation isn't showing up.

Fyora: Try refreshing the page.

Hanso: *_refreshes the page, the conversation shows up*_

Brynn: That...is...AWESOME!

Nabile: Um...She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

Jazan: WAAZZZUUUPPPPPP?

Hanso: *_refreshes the page, the last sentences show up_* Sweet!

Tomos: Rice cakes!

Brynn: Save the Whales!

Me: Fuck this shit!

Hanso: _*refreshes the page again*_ Man, that is so _cool_!

Fyora: *_coughs_*

Hanso: Hm? Oh right, so that's what happened...minus the sad ending...Shadow, why did you have to kill us all?

Shadow: *_shrugs_* It was the sad ending. I just wrote what came to me.

Shoyru Mailperson: Mail for King Hagan of Brightvale!

Hagan: *_takes it*_

Mailperson: *_leaves_*

Hagan: Oh, the test results are back!

Tomos: Test results?

Brynn: Before Hagan got stoned, we sent in DNA samples to see if he really was my father.

Hagan: And... *_breaks open the envelope_* Brynn...You _are_ my daughter!

Nabile: That means we're distantly related!

_Short silence..._

Hanso: *_to Brynn_* I'm guessing you look like your mom, then.

Brynn: Not really. Remember Tale of Woe? Skeith + Zafara = Gelert, Lupe and Ixi.

Hagan: So...uh...

_Awkward silence..._

Baby Xandra: _*starts crying_*

Fyora: *_picks her up and rocks her gently_* I can raise Xandra. Maybe by being raised by me, rather than by the Darkest Faerie, she will not have the same views as before on royalty and faeries. Though, I really don't understand why people think that we just serve them everything on a silver platter. They need to overcome their own obstacles; we just help them along the way.

Jazan: Great point.

Fyora: Maybe we were less involved in the affairs of Neopians than we thought, but we will address that later.

Jazan: *_whispers to others_* That's faerie for "Maybe we'll help more, but that's not likely"

Fyora: Now, before I leave, I will thank you all by putting you in the Gallery of Heroes. Except Jazan.

Jazan: Why not?

Fyora: Because your cursed side is in the Gallery of Evil.

Jazan: And it wouldn't kill you to put my non-cursed side in the Gallery of Heroes?

Fyora: TNT hasn't seemed to think about that yet. Anyways, I want to see Brynn when she is ready. I would like her to become the captain of Faerieland's guards.

Brynn: But I'm a _Brightvale_ guard! And my dad's my ruler...

Hagan: Brynn, this is a great job opportunity! I wouldn't mind.

Brynn: I'll think about it.

Fyora: *_takes Xandra and poofs away*_

Hanso: So...now what?

Me: We will find out...in the Epilogue!

Tomos: Echo, why do you do this?

Me: What?

Tomos: You just say "Wait for the next chapter" or "Find out...Next chapter!"

Me: Well, what else am I going to say?

Jazan: You could say something random and off-topic.

Me: ...Fish heads.

Jazan: *_refreshes the page_* This never gets old!

Nabile: Antidisestablishmentarianism!

Brynn: Ranch Dressing!

Hanso: Forklift!

Hagan: Laundry Detergent!

Jazan: *_refreshes page*_

Everyone: *_laughs_*

_Echo Note: Who wants to be in the Epilogue? (Note: options to be in my stories are very rare, since I have no idea what people would really say in these situations, and I don't want people to read it and think "I would never say/do that!".) You will not get many lines, though. But there will be something special at the end that is too good to pass up! Seriously!_


	38. Epilogue

Epilogue

Hanso: So...how does this work?

Me: Just speak in italics, people will understand the rest.

Wocky(named Timmy for some strange reason): Get on with the story!

Hanso: Alright, here goes...

_Neopia slowly returned to normal in the next month...Man, it's so cool talking like this-_

Me: Do this correctly or I'm taking over.

Hanso: *_cringe_*

_Where was I? Oh yeah...Or at least as normal as it could with a WHOLE FUCKING CITY IN A CRATER!_

Shadow: There's Middlesboro, Nordlingen-

Hanso: *_glare_*

Shadow: What? They're cities built in craters!

Hanso: *_sigh_*

_The faeries began to rebuild, hopeful that one day their magic would be strong enough to lift Faerieland back into the skies above Neopia where it belongs, despite every other person saying how much they prefer the green woodland over the pink clouds of lag that there was before._

Me: It was too bright, too girly and too lagy!

Shadow: So true!

_You guys mind stopping- oh wait, I'm still narrating. Um, hang on..._

Hanso: There we go, back to talking. Do you guys mind stopping interrupting me while I'm talking?

Me: Hanso, no matter what, people will _always _interrupt you. This is how I feel every day.

_King Jazan returned to Qasala with Nightsteed and his second favorite ixi thief..._

Nabile: _Second _favorite? There's someone else isn't there? _*starts crying_* Why didn't you tell me? Who is she?

Jazan: Nabile, Hanso was making a joke. He was saying that he was my favorite ixi thief.

Me: Way to start up the Janso rumors again...

Nabile: *_stops crying*_ Oh. Don't scare me like that in the future. I'm hungry. I want blueberries. FETCH ME SOME MOTHERFUCKING BLUEBERRIES!

Jazan: …

Me: Mood swings and cravings.

Jazan: ...Nabile, how much longer are you going to be pregnant?

Nabile: It's only been a month!

Jazan: *_eye twitch*_

_Tomos was sent on a quest by Fyora to retrieve the Darkest Faerie's head from Altador and bring it back. Good idea too, because the sight of it alone caused 16 riots and 7 new cults._

_Walking montage #13_

Tomos: (singing) And it goes in one ear, and right out the other. People talking shit, but you know I never bother. Because it goes in one ear, and right out the other...

_...Apparently he is still on his way there. The blind Ogrin started teaching classes on how to defend yourself from shadow wraiths to his Imperial Guard students, despite the fact that all the wraiths disappeared, and the fact that Xandra's a baby now and the Darkest Faerie is dead basically prevents them from ever coming back..._

Kougra apprentice: Dude, we just stab or hit the things and they explode. What else is there to know?

Ogrin: Discontent comes more from our desires than from our needs.

Usul apprentice: Crap, he's talking wisdom again...

_Fyora raised Xandra like her own child, in hopes that she would grow up more respectful of faeries._

Fyora: Lights out, little one. _*puts Xandra in her crib*_

Baby Xandra: *_yawns and goes to sleep, sucking her thumb*_

Me: OH MY GOD SHE'S SO CUTE!

Shadow: ...Apparently Echo likes babies.

Me: Up to a point.

_Roxton managed to drag Clara and Jordie to Terror Mountain for God-knows what reason..._

Clara: Roxton! It's below zero degrees! Why are we here?

Roxton: I need a slushie!

Clara: ...YOU DRAGGED US UP HERE FOR A GODDAM SLUSHIE?

Alexis-Xymstic: Well, where else are you going to get a slushie? Tyrannia?

Jordie: What is she doing here?

Roxton: I invited her along for some positive encouragement. For once.

_Shadow and Armin continued to see each other..._

Armin: *_puts his arm around Shadow and kisses her cheek*_

whateva876 and popgum99: Shadmin FTW!

Hanso: Do you mind?

whateva876 and popgum99: Sorry Hanso!

_Echo continued to write her crazy stories..._

Shadow: Was that subtle hinting at a sequel?

Me: *_facepalm_* **Thanks for ruining the surprise, Shadow!**

Shadow: What? AW CRAP!

My readers: Sequel! *_squeal and jump around*_

_As for Bill and Joe the other Brightvale guards from the earlier chapters...who knows what happened to them...They probably died under a rock or something-_

Joe: Actually, we returned to being lame-ass Brightvale guards.

Bill: *_tries to figure out which side of his sword is the pointy side*_

Timmy: Yeah, yeah. Get to the good part already!

Hanso: Look Timmy, you wanted to know what happened to us-

Timmy: I think everyone does. That's what this chapter's _for_.

Hanso: And I've saved the best for last. Meaning, of course, me and Brynn.

whateva876 and popgum99: Brynnso FTW!

Armin: SHUT UP! *_gets out cattle prod*_

Hanso: ...Yeah.

_Because of her incredible bravery, Brynn was appointed the head of Queen Fyora's guards..._

Fyora: *_holds sword over Brynn*_

Me: Is that...OH FUCK NO!

Brynn: What?

Me: The helmet...IT'S BACK! *_takes the helmet, throws it away, takes Nabile's machine gun and shoots the crap out of it*_

Brynn: Echo! What was that for?

Fyora: Hm...Actually, I agree. That helmet was ugly as hell...

Brynn: Well, at least I get this new pink hair-tie! :)

Me: The pink clashes with your orange fur.

Brynn: Seriously, is _nothing_ ever good enough for you guys?

_And for my quick thinking and unparalleled cunning, I was given the title of Master Thief, after a little *clears throat* persuasion..._

Hanso: *_opens CoM to chapter 2 and shows it to Kanrik_*

Kanrik: *_goes pale*_

Hanso: You know what I want.

Kanrik: Never!

Hanso: Suit yourself. *_calls to the others in the Thieve's guild_* Hey guys! Check this out!

Others: What?

Kanrik: (evasively) I was just going to grant Hanso here permission to re-join the Thieve's Guild! Better even, I was going to give him the title of "Master Thief" *_shakes Hanso's hand and grabs the comic_* Congratulations Hanso! *_throws comic into a fireplace that just so happens to be there*_

Hanso: *_grinning_*

_And as for Brynn and I, well, we're still seeing each other...who knows what the future will hold for us..._

Caged Brynnso fangirls: *_75 different types of happy_*

_Queen Fyora herself set us the task of retrieving dangerous faerie artefacts from all over Neopia to keep them from falling into the wrong hands-_

Brynn: Hanso, you done boring the crap out of this kid yet?

Timmy: Is this the chick?

Hanso: Yes...

Timmy: *_gives Brynn a once over_* Not bad man, not bad...

Me: ...Aren't you, like, nine or something?

Timmy: *_shrugs_*

Brynn: ...Anyway, there are reports of a magical artefact in the Lost Desert. Fyora says that we should head out there right away.

Hanso: Sweet! Time for more amazing heroics!

Brynn: *_eye roll*_

Timmy: A little strange how you would just happen to go to the place where your friends are, dontcha think?

Hanso: Maybe. Well, that's the story for now. Don't be too disappointed. I like you kid, I'll make a thief out of you yet! *_tousles Timmy's hair*_

Timmy: Don't touch me! Who _knows _where that hand has been!

Hanso: Um...

Brynn: *_facepalm_*

Timmy: *_runs away before anything else happens*_

Brynn and Hanso: *_start walking*_

Brynn: You know Hanso, I'm going to have to arrest you for corrupting Neopia's youth. You shouldn't be encouraging children to become thieves!

Hanso: Hey, it worked out just fine for me, didn't it? And besides... *_puts arm around Brynn_* If I hadn't started picking pockets, I wouldn't have known you, now would I?

Brynn: *_mutters_* Yeah, I guess...

Hanso: *_takes arm away*_ What's wrong?

Brynn: _*still muttering_* Nothing.

Hanso: Brynn, something's _obviously_ up. Come on, you can tell me!

Brynn: *_snaps_* It's nothing!

Hanso: *_kinda scared*_

_Fighting noises in the distance..._

Brynn: Hang on, I have to break this up. *_goes over to fighting people*_

Hanso: Okay, what's up with Brynn?

Me: Here to explain the painfully obvious is one of the Brynnso fangirls. Armin?

Armin: *_pokes through the cage until he finds Wolf Princess girl*_

Hanso: Okay, so what's up with Brynn? Was it something I said?

Me: More like something you _didn't_ say.

Hanso: Huh?

Wolf Princess girl: Hanso, Brynn told you that she loved you _three times_. Sure, the first time she was cut off...

Me: And the next two times you didn't remember her...

Wolf Princess girl: But she still said it! And have you said it yet?

Hanso: No...

Me: There's your problem.

Brynn: *_comes back from the street fight*_ Okay, let's just get going-

Hanso: *_kisses Brynn_* I love you.

Brynn: ...When did you become a romantic, Hanso? *_smiles_*

Hanso: *_grins_* Years of practice. Come on, lets go!

_And they run off..._

Me: And now, I have some messages for the public. I'd like to thank King Altador for being such a good sport, Shadow for always being by my side, Armin for doing all the useless crap jobs-

Armin: Ain't that the truth.

Me: I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed my story. Seriously, I don't know if you know what effect good reviews have on me. I'd like to thank all my readers (you know who you are! :)), even the ones that don't have Fanfiction accounts but still read this anyway, or the ones that do and just don't review. I know that you exist because I used to be one of you. And now, because I like my readers so much... *_sits down in a chair_* Release the Brynnso fangirls, they're part of this too.

Armin: *_opens the cage and lets the fangirls out, but keeps the cattle prod. Just in case.*_

Me: And anyone else that has read this should come here too.

_I keep at this until everyone that has read my fic (some of it or all of it) is there._

Me: See that table over there? *_points_*

Alexis-Xymstic: It's covered in pies...

Me: Yep. Now, I want every one of you to take one pie...and pie me in the face.

Wolf Princess girl: Wait, what?

Me: Get a pie, form a line, wait 'till I say go, and pie me in the face.

Alexis-Xymstic: But why-

popgum99: *_doesn't question it and gets her pie*_

Me: _*closes my eyes, makes sure that I'm not breathing in_* NOW!

popgum99: _*shoves the pie into my face_*

Me: *_wipes the cream off my face and out of my eyes_* Who's next?

whateva876: *_shrugs, takes a pie*_

Me: *_closes eyes again_* NOW!

whateva876: *_pies me in the face_*

Alexis-Xymstic and Wolf Princess girl: *_also get some pies*_

Other readers: *_shrug and follow suit_*

_Several pies to the face later..._

Shadow: Echo? Why do you _want _them to pie you in the face?

Me: Don't question it.

Shadow: I'm serious.

Me: Have you ever been pied in the face, Shadow?

Shadow: No...

Me: Try it!

Shadow: *_sits down uncertainly_*

Me: Hey readers! Shadow wants a pie too!

One reader: *_goes over_*

Shadow: *_closes eyes_* Um...now?

Reader: *_pies her in the face*_

Shadow: *_laughs as she wipes the cream from her eyes_* That was actually kinda fun!

Me: IKR? Hey people! Make two lines! Shadow's up for getting pied!

_God-knows how many pies later, after everyone else has left..._

Shadow and Me: *_wiping off our faces with wet towels*_

Armin: Damn, this is gonna be a pain in the ass to clean up... *_motions to floor covered with the remains of pie_*

Me: Well, Armin, I'll clean it up for once. Then you won't need to do anything else until my next story.

The End!

To be continued!

Shadow: Echo, why does it say "The End" and then "To be continued"?

Me: It means that Echo has one more trick up her sleeve...


	39. End Credits

Me: Huh, I just realized that this makes 39 chapters...That's a weird number... Anyway, OMG IT'S...

The End Credits!

Me: Yes indeed. The end credits. The things at the end of movies that you fast forward through or just leave when they appear. But this is more than just end credits. Everyone starred as themselves, so there's no need for that. But you may want to stick around and read the page. Seriously.

Sequel Preview

Me: How could I resist? Anyway, here's some of the stuff that's going to go down in my sequel.

Nabile and Jazan's baby...

More Brynnso (they would kill me if I didn't)...

Tomos' 15th birthday (it had to happen eventually)...

Brynn's LSD addiction...

Nabile excels at knife throwing...

Roxton loses his mustache...

Tomos discovers emo poetry...

Hanso finds his "feminine side"...

Jazan is diagnosed with RAGS (Random Air Guitar Syndrome)...

Things blowing up in random parts of the world...

Kiko Lake is actually useful (say what?)...

More walking montages!...

A note that says: "You are being watched"...

More frying pans!...

79 slushie brainfreeze...

Jelly World!...

No more Pre-chapter Interviews (Hooray!)...

The Ogrin goes into debt and needs bail...

More crazy liberals!...

Someone falls into the Rainbow Fountain...

Nabile has major mood swings...

Fyora gets a violent mind...

18 more artefacts to find...

And much, much more!

Me: HOWEVER! I am going to make a parody of Curse of Maraqua first. Why? Because, it will give me time to think of a storyline for the sequel, and I _really_ want to parody CoM!

Songs Used

"Don't Stop Believing" by Journey

"I'm Awesome" by Spose

"Surfing Bird" by the Trashmen and sung by Peter Griffin

"Bound to the Floor" by Local H

"Panic Switch" by Silversun Pickups (referenced)

"Substitution", "The Royal We" and "Lazy Eye" by the Silversun Pickups are also referenced.

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana (referenced)

"Like a G6" by Far East Movement (referenced)

"Dynamite" by Taio Cruz (wrong words...and I _still_ don't know who made that song parody up)

"Blowin' In the Wind" by Bob Dylan (wrong words referenced)

"Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley (also wrong words)

Smashing Pumpkins, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Green Day are all referenced

"Sing" by My Chemical Romance (referenced)

"I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones

"The Campfire Song Song" by whoever writes the Spongebob songs

"Time to Get Ill" by the Beastie Boys

"No Sleep 'Till Brooklyn" by the Beastie Boys

"Sure Shot" by the Beastie Boys

"Macarena" by Los del Rio

"Ghostbusters theme song" by Ray Parker (referenced)

"The Messenger" by Linkin Park (background music)

"Fuck You" by Cee-Lo (parodied by me)

"Blue" by Eiffel 65

"Jeremy" by Pearl Jam

"Even Flow" by Pearl Jam (referenced)

"We Will Rock You" by Queen

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor (background music)

"Wretches and Kings" by Linkin Park

"Inside Out" by Eve 6

"Audience of One" by Rise Against

Me: I think that's it...if I forgot anything, don't hesitate to tell me. And if you share my love of classic rock and alternative music...AIR HI-FIVE! _And _you can have a brownie! *_holds out brownies*_ ...You know what, even if you _don't_ share my music tastes, you can have a brownie. And if you're allergic to brownies...Have one of these hypo-allergenic brownies! *_holds out plate of hypo-allergenic brownies*_ They look, taste, smell, feel and sound like regular brownies, but you're just not allergic to them! Hooray! What a great invention!

References

Me: Basically the list of things I don't own.

Neopets, any characters or plots etc. and the memes used in the Fearless Deeds.

In chapter 5, when Hanso catches the mirror, he says "Hey, I caught it! :D". This is a reference to nigahiga's Youtube vids. "How to be Ninja/Gangster/Emo/Nerd" when the guy catches the DVDs.

In chapter 7, Peter and Meg Griffin from Family Guy make an appearance. Peter says "Oh my God, who the hell _cares?_", which is a quote from the episode "Tales of a Third-Grade Nothing"

In chapter 7, the words "And now for something completely different" are used. This is a reference to Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Still chapter 7, Holiday Inn is mentioned.

In chapters 8 and 33, Peter Griffin sings "Surfing Bird" by the Trashmen, a reference to the episode "I Dream of Jesus" (among others).

In chapter 10, Nabile says "Doors, doors everywhere. I wonder which one's the pay-toilet." and Tomos mentions "The Dig". This is a quote from "The Dig", an old computer game (which, coincidentally, I really like).

In chapter 13, "The Legion of Doom" from "Super Friends" is referenced.

In chapter 14, Twitter is referenced.

In chapter 15, G.I Joe, Aladdin, and Star Wars are all referenced.

The entire party chapter was a tribute to "The Hangover" (roofies, guy on the roof...)

G.I. Joe was referenced again in the Party Chapter with the quote "Now I know. And knowing is half the battle"

In the Party Chapter (and now that I think about it, in chapter 1 with Xandra too...and Nabile in chapter 33...), Hanso says "M'kay". This is a South Park reference to the character Mr. Mackey.

Still in the Party Chapter, Nabile takes out a machine gun and shoots the crap out of the camera screaming "You can't hurt anyone anymore!". This scenario is a reference to the Family Guy episode "Baby Not on Board", where Stewie does the same thing to a copy of Hustler Magazine.

Macgyver is referenced throughout the story.

In chapter 19, Hanso says (even in the real plot) "Please understand I hold you in the highest respect." which is a reference to The Princess Bride.

Star Wars (Han Solo) is mentioned again in my Pre-chapter Interview with Hanso.

Facebook is referenced multiple times.

In chapter 20, the Matrix is referenced.

In chapter 20, I fish-slap Brynn. This is a reference to Monty Python's "Fish Slapping Dance"

In chapter 21, yes, Sing Sing is indeed a prison.

In chapter 22, Indianna Jones is referenced.

In chapter 22, the whole thing with the jeffery, the heart-attack and stoking the fuzzy wall, is a reference to the movie Get Him to the Greek.

Still in chapter 22, Spongebob Squarepants is referenced.

In chapter 23, That 70's Show transitions are mentioned and used.

Anytime anyone says "WOOHOO!", that is a reference to The Simpsons.

In chapter 25, Ghostbusters is referenced.

In chapter 25, "I Left my Heart in San Francisco" is mentioned. As is HD Radio.

In chapter 25, "Neopian Hospital" is a reference to "General Hospital" or any other hospital show.

In chapter 26, Inception is referenced.

In chapter 27, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is referenced.

In chapter 30, the series House is referenced.

In chapter 30, "Villains Weekly" is some reference unknown even to me...

In chapter 32, the workout montage to "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor is a reference to the Rocky movies.

In chapter 32, Dexter's Lab is referenced.

In chapter 32, "How Much do You Know About Anything?" is a parody of most game shows.

In chapter 33, Chubby Bunny is played.

In chapter 34, Marco Polo is played.

In chapter 35, Fanfiction is referenced (ha!)

So is the tongue twister "She sells sea shells...", Save the Whales, and anything else that I forgot.

Me: So...I guess that's it. Oh, and I looked back at my earlier chapters, and found typos (AH!) and I got some song lyrics wrong (AAAHHH!) and I noticed how all those 1s at the end of exclamations are really annoying. I will be going back and fixing those, but I will _not _be re-writing anything.

_Echo Note: WAH! The last one in this story! :( Anyways, I have a request for anyone who reads my story (I feel so lame for doing this...) Can you please tell me one thing that was good about my story, and one thing that wasn't so good? Because I want to know what I can improve on, and what I shouldn't change._

_P.S., If you're like me and are incredibly indecisive, then rate my story from 1-10, 10 being the highest._

_P.P.S., If you're still like me and have no idea how to rate things either, then just pie me in the face._


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